What do you think about what this guy said?

Question

So I was raised in a strict old school mentality. Not that I expect everyone to have my own idea on things. I'm talking to this guy who cusses like a drunken sailor and I didn't grow up like that. Especially my parents really raised me strict. And I told him could he please refrain talking like that in front of me. He said he'll try but he said they're just words and he thinks it's ridiculous that people find words offensive. He said that I should try to change my mentality on that. I don't know how I should feel about that. What do you guys think?

quaranta · Accepted Answer

On one side, he might be right because the majority of people you interact with is open to a lot of vulgarity and if you aren't that might make you not compatible in most of environments, but at the same time that doesn't take off the right for you to find your own bubble, building it up with people who are like-minded.
That being said, it's not just him who would have to "change" for your comfort, but a series of other things related to a person who is not grown up in a strict oldschool way: what about his friends? His family? People he interacts with online? Events he would go to? etc. You would feel often discomfort when he shares his other pieces of life with you, and he might feel constrained and monitored when he joins yours (I also can't stand walking on eggshells with formal people, I typically avoid any situation that is not chill). How would you feel going in a pub with his same-minded friends? How would he feel going to a family dinner at your place? Think about these things because having a compatible lifestyle is important, as the couple is not just you two closed between 4 walls. And he wouldn't see this change as an improvement for himself, just as a compromise to stay with you that doesn't bring him anything otherwise in other contexts, so he might feel it annoying at some point. Probably, same for you.
You have to understand how your contexts are actually compatible and how much you can both negotiate over them, or, to just not continue dating, if that looks like too much effort vs benefits.

watercolor_lions · Accepted Answer

It sounds like this man has no class, and you should just avoid him. That's ridiculous. It's one thing to curse. But to talk about porn in-depth when he knows the person is sensitive? That's tacky.

It's okay if you don't curse, but you might need to accept others do in this day and age. It's common vernacular now. And you can't control everyone.

xColinx · Answer

Were you home schooled? This sounds like 6th grade language. Anyway, why are you "talking to this guy"? Is it a co-worker situation that makes it difficult to avoid?