If a woman seems popular with men would a guy who likes her play it super cool in order to stand out from the crowd?

[Anonymous]

Like if she goes on a lot of dates and has no problem dating and there is a guy in her friend group who has a crush on her which he has shown through flirting, teasing, body language, peacocking etc. but he does not really reach out to her do you think he might be clever enough to try to distinguish himself from the guys who are actively pursuing her by being cooler than them etc..

[ManOnFire]

Yes, he is being a sigma male, which is the more intelligent male of the species. Although for me personally, I do tend to steer clear of women who are often "popular with a lot of guys." For 3 reasons:

1. Whenever you have a woman like that, any time you're a guy talking to her, you will almost always be seen as just another one who is desperate to talk to her and have her attention, or are hoping you can date or have sex with her, even if you're really not. You will be seen that way by not only her but others who are observing.

2. As unpopular as it is to talk about, often times a woman who is popular with men or goes on many dates does tend to be a woman who sleeps with many. Which is okay for some men but not for me.

3. I don't like being another dude who gets his turn or is waiting for his turn. I don't like mingling with women who have all these guys around her or all these guys she could "choose from." And at the end of the day, that's basically how she would look at me and any other guy in her orbit, and women like that are just no fun as far as dating or a relationship goes.

[Wade12345]

Guy should just be nice to a woman. Since women are the ones who reject me all the time, the woman may as well be the one making the first move too. Guy should just be nice to her and be a friend and see if they get along. If something romantic becomes appropriate, they'll know in due time.

People put too much pressure on themselves and one another in these situations.

[Asker]

But re: this guy what do you think is going on?

[Wade12345]

Sounds like the guy is about like me. He loves you to death, but probably has a form of social anxiety. I have a hard time in person explaining to a woman that I'm crushing on her and would like to date her. It can take me days or weeks or even a month to work up the nerve to tell her how I feel.

[BeMuse]

Not everyone wants to fuck you. Joking around and teasing you, doesn't mean he wants to date you.

[spartan55]

He's probably done with winning you over.

[Wise4myage]

Only if he makes a move on her at some point.

[Asker]

Do you think he is trying to stand out from the others? He stares intensely at me, he shows off his biceps, he has even taken my hand and started stroking it and looking in my eyes, he looks at my breasts, he teases me, but over text I have to reach out to him. He knows even in recent months I have been on ten dates with different guys and he said “it’s a different world for women” and he thought I rejected him some months ago and chose another guy after we went on a date and I didn’t realise it was a date. But he still sends these signals but he is not pursuing..

[Wise4myage]

It sure sounds like he was for your benefit.

[Asker]

Do you mean it was for your benefit?

[Wise4myage]

No yours.