So.. odd question?

[Anonymous]

Okay so there’s this friend of mine and I was cold so he pulled my legs on his lap (we were on these rolling office chairs next to each other), and I had my thighs sideways on his lap but there was a spot that was really hot, like almost burning hot, I appreciated it since I was really cold. And I don’t really want to assume anything because he got my legs off his lap not long after that, though that may have been because my legs were too heavy or something, anyways my question is, is it bad for me to assume he was hard or something? Or are guys just naturally that warm (he’s pretty warm on a normal basis either way but not THAT warm) and like his thighs weren’t as warm as that one spot was.

[Anonymous]

Once you cross these boundaries of flirting and touching, it is no longer simple friendship so you really shouldn’t call it that anymore. My question is even if he were hard, why are you letting things go there at work with a guy you’re calling a friend? Why don’t you have respectable boundaries where if he isn’t trying to pursue you then he shouldn’t do things that can give the wrong idea?

[Opinion Owner]

Also, it’s normal for areas that collect heat to get hot. For men and women that’s our intimate areas, our armpits and our feet. If you’ve got your legs over and already clothed and self-heating area, it’s going to get hot.

[Asker]

I dunno, I guess we’ve always just been like that. Most of my friends and I are touchy so I didn’t really find it odd at first. Also we weren’t at work it was at a study hall. I also dunno how to set boundaries with him because what if he thinks I’m being weird for overthinking his actions like that? Something we consider normal? I don’t really want to lose a friend.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh ok my bad, I assumed it was work based off the office chair comment lol. When you say you and your friends are touchy, I’m willing to bet these are mostly other women and for the most part it’s harmless. It’s quite different when you’re allowing a man to be touchy with you though, because unless they’re gay, taken or don’t find you even moderately attractive then there’s always a bit more behind touchiness, and that’s why you have to set boundaries.

As for worrying about him thinking you’re being weird, to me that’s the least of your worries. I think it’s more concerning that you worry he won’t be your friend anymore if he can’t put your legs in his lap or feel a potential boner. I think the more you worry about displeasing him, the further you’d let him go with his touching and to me that’s disrespectful if there’s no intent behind it. Next thing you know there’s touching in places that aren’t quite friendly yet you’re meant to keep the status quo of simple classmates. No no no, respect needs to come into the picture if this is only platonic friendship. You define what normal means and it does not have to mean intimate touching.

[Opinion Owner]

There’s very harmless ways to go about setting boundaries and redefining what’s normal. For example, when he offered to put your legs in his lap for warmth, you could politely declined and brushed it off friendly, like “oh it’s okay, we won’t be in here much longer anyway so don’t worry. But thanks! Nice of you to offer,” or however you wanna put it. Lay the niceness on thick if you turn down something intimate so that he understands you mean NO harm you just don’t want there to be any confusion if things aren’t going anywhere.

[Asker]

Huh, I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way. I didn’t really think of how he was a straight guy while the rest of my friends are girls and a gay guy. That really opened up my perspective. As for how to set the boundaries I’ll be sure to use them, thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it!!

[Opinion Owner]

No worries! Good luck going forward

[Nikki1989]

Do not let this one incident cause you to overthink the situation. If he is a naturally touchy person, then this could have been a casual action. If he is not, then it could be interpreted differently.

[Asker]

I mean he is usally touchy, but he’s never put my legs over his lap again after that one time.

[bowenw]

It's not bad to assume he was hard as that is kind of a normal reaction when close like that to an attractive girl. It is natural to be warmer in the crotch area for everyone.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[RedInnocent69]

Oh yeah, total boner! That hot cum was building up inside to spurt on you!

[Anonymous]

Did it feel like he was hard? Maybe he was just really warm. That being said, putting your legs over a guy’s lap can defo get him hard.

[Asker]

I’m not really sure, since my legs were over his lap I couldn’t really tell where it was. But like I’ve never (tmi) really felt a guy being hard so I don’t know what to tell apart.

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t worry. Odds are you got him hard. But don’t be too proud. Doesn’t mean he likes you likes you. Just means your legs turned him on.