Happy 2017 Festivus for the Rest of Us!

BeeNee a
Happy 2017 Festivus for the Rest of Us!

HAPPY FESTIVUS (for the Rest of Us)! Festivus is celebrated every year on December 23rd. It is marked by its strict lack of religious affiliation or any form of commercialism. If you've never heard of it, and you want to participate, here's how.

Step 1) In order to participate, you need to erect an aluminum “Festivus Pole” measuring at least 6 feet in your party space. Your pole should preferably be one that has been stored in some type of crawl space throughout the year. It must have a high strength to weight ratio, and be completely unadorned as tinsel is too distracting.

Step 2) “Festivus Feast” dinner is served consisting of a turkey or ham, followed by a Pepperidge Farm Cake adorned with M&M’s or you may prepare or buy any other wise extremely low maintenance dinner fair.

Step 3) The “Airing of Grievances” begins where each person is allowed to tell their family, friends, or the world, all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year

Happy 2017 Festivus for the Rest of Us!

Step 4) “Feats of Strength;” The host of the party must challenge one person to a wrestling match. The person can refuse, but FOS does not end until the host is eventually pinned by some member of the party. If they choose to participate, they must remove all bulky clothing and begin by shouting, “Let’s Rumble!” (Arm wrestling may be substituted).

Step 5) Lastly, during the event, you are allowed to declare “Festivus Miracles,” or minor events that happen as being miraculous, i.e. Johnny dropped his fork, but caught it before it hit the ground, such is this, a Festivus miracle!

This is a great day to celebrate with friends and family who may have a lot to get off their chest, or aren't religious in the slightest, or who would enjoy the whimsy of it all. Bonus, your friends and family do not have to hunt down any ugly Christmas sweaters or show up with a Martha Stewart-esque cake it took them all day to make, or have to be completely civil (literally friendly fighting is encouraged).

Happy 2017 Festivus for the Rest of Us!
9 Opinion