Girls, Ladies, how much do you expect a man to spend on an engagement ring?

Question

I recently saw a thread on a forum discussing this.

One girl said around $16k would buy something stunning.

Another said they believed the old BS line about "3 months salary".

Most were in the "$3k - $5k" range.

A few in the minority didn't care, and believed it was more about the meaning behind it.

A very few minority spat out the line "the cost of the ring is in proportion with how much you mean to him".

So, ladies, what do YOU expect him to spend?

redeyemindtricks · Accepted Answer

My wedding band cost less than $100.
It's a plain tungsten band that is simple, dark, durable, and has a way of looking better with every passing year. Like... me, and like my husband. And like our relationship.

I can wear it to the gym, it doesn't catch on things, I don't have to be paranoid about checking the setting all the time to make sure "precious" stones aren't lost, etc. etc.
And it's beautiful in its simplicity.

At this point (married over 15 years), I have a couple of other wedding band sets that my husband actually made me. (He's a leatherworker by trade, but he also does metalwork, too.)
One of these sets is actually worth a few thousand in melt value, and would be worth five figures on the market I'm sure (it's 18k white gold and platinum) -- but that's not the point. The other sets are made of inexpensive metals like stainless steel and brass, but they're handmade and totally unique -- they are literally the only rings of their kind in the whole world.
These rings mostly for more "special" / dressy occasions. For day-to-day, I still wear the plain black band that my man put on my hand when he made me *his*, forever.
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If you have a REAL commitment and you know it, it doesn't make ANY difference how much yr ring costs. That's between you and yr fiancé, and, frankly, it's none of yr family's business (this isn't the 17th century anymore, when a wedding could signify a future war alliance or geopolitical arrangement).

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On the other hand -- you should introspect about whether YOU might actually enjoy the idea of a more expensive ring.
A lot of men actually do. It's not a "marking territory" thing -- it's just that lots of men enjoy spending money on the finer things in life that matter to them, and they would genuinely delight in seeing a woman they love wearing an expensive band that they worked hard to pay for.

If you are one of these men, then, you should give at least some consideration to that. (For men like this, rejecting an expensive ring and insisting on a simpler one can be like constantly rejecting compliments or gifts -- after a while it hurts! Remind her, you're gna see her wearing that ring EVERY DAY for the rest of yr lives together.)

If you're not -- i. e. if both of you are frugal and have good financial sense -- and it's just family (or whoever) that's bugging you here, then, you should find the kindest, most diplomatic, and most polite way possible of telling them to butt out and mind their own fucking business.

MissMurphy · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't want an engagement ring at all, though I might to wear one if it was really important to my partner. The tradition largely comes from a time when brides were owned, and more recently was a form of compensation for the damage done to a woman by the loss of her virginity. The significance of diamonds comes (again, mostly) from a very successful advertising campaign by De Beers started just before WWII. I've got a $12 cubic zirconia ring from Walmart that I honestly like the look of and would be entertained by flaunting as my engagement ring. I'd be proud of putting the money into more important things. Also by people who couldn't tell the difference. What I'd actually want to wear would be a plain, traditional band that matched my partner's. A matched, practical set, like us.

Of course, marriage would honestly be a hard sell in the first place for me. Not off the table, but also not something I'm looking for. I'd have to really, really love them and be sure we were good for each other, and I can't imagine we'd get that far without knowing each other very well. If they misjudged my thoughts on the matter, we're either not ready or not right for marriage. So no pressure huh?

In conclusion: 3 months salary is outdated bullshit, chalk me up for the "inexpensive" category, and you should know a woman well enough to know what she wants before popping the question.

SoulGirl · Answer

I'm not so picky on the cost of the ring. If he's poor, I don't expect something for Tiffany's. But if he's wealthy and gets me a cheap ring, then that goes to show... What's most important to me, at least, is the design. KNOW WHAT YOUR GIRL'S TASTE IN JEWELRY IS. She's going to be wearing it for the rest of her life. Does she like wearing big necklaces, small ones? Does she like lost of detail in in her jewels, or likes simple? The ring you chose should reflect on your girl. I would much rather a 3000$ ring that I love the looks of, than a 25000 one that's not my taste. Hope that helps.

Pink934 · Answer

I don't mind, I'd rather receive a ring that he knows I'd like (you know, dainty, small blue stone or something) than some massive ring that dominates my whole hand - I think anyone who wants a massive engagement ring must have some issues with their relationship if they really feel it necessary to show off a massive ring to the whole world!

So yeah, cheap, cheerful, but most of all, thoughtful is what I'd like to see. Nothing ridiculous or very expensive or I'll think he's overcompensating for something.

Amanda2 · Answer

I would prefer him and I traveling and creating memories every year or so to new places, than some material entity that can be lost or stolen. I really don't care, as long as we genuinely love each other. Also, I will like a very small, outdoor wedding.

SunsetStar · Answer

For me personally, nothing. I have my own engagement rings (he'd have to ask my mother for them). They've been passed down the female side of my family for a few generations.

Realistically, if i didn't have that, nothing too expensive - a basic silver band would be just fine. i feel like it depends on what job he has. Not enough to put a dent in savings though.

Derpyy · Answer

Like less than $150? Hopefully no more. I want something sleek and sturdy like Titanium, with maybe an engraving or two. I'm not into the jewels though I will say I am a sucker for garnets. I'd like to think I'm not high maintenance. I got pretty fucking pissed when my boyfriend spent almost two hundred dollars for two passes to a Hershey's chocolate factory. "Just give me a box of chocolates next time! Christ, what is WRONG with you?"

Wonderer89 · Answer

I had no expectations, it's a gift. What mattered the most is that he took the time to understand my taste and to find something that would suit.
I would have been disappointed if he had spent a stupid amount of money, anything over $3K is a waste unless he was earning a crazy amount of money and nothing better to spend it on

lostgirl_searching · Answer

I have seen cute rings for $175 - $300. So anywhere around that range or less. I don't really care.
The prices those women said, that can go towards a house and a car. Actually my boyfriend and I can rent a house buy a nice used old car, and go on lots of family vacation (s)

Fiestyblackwidow · Answer

I don't care about the price as long as it's pretty and came from the heart. I don't want him spending a ton because we still have to pay for a wedding and honeymoon. Not to mention also having money to start our new married life together.

Agirlwithalemon · Answer

I would be fine with a $25 ring. For me, it's about marriage itself, not what I wear on my finger. Heck! I'd even be fine with not having a ring. You don't need one to be married after all. My parents don't have wedding rings.

fauchelevent · Answer

Meh, I don't really care about the money... As long as it's something that I actually like, it's fine, though I have no idea how much that stuff is. I don't want him to spend too much on it, like if he spent near £300, id probably pass out 😂

Girls, Ladies, how much do you expect a man to spend on an engagement ring?

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