Can I ask people attending my wedding to pay?

[Anonymous]

Getting married mid next year and sending out the RSVP’s soon. I wanted to include in it no gifts and ask that if possible guest pay $30 each when they return the RSVP. I live in NZ so obviously NZD.
I’ve already put down the deposit on my venue and this money would cover their meal from the caterer I’ve been looking at.
I’ve never seen someone do this and it might be a dick move, but getting married on a budget is what it is.

For those of you who don’t know, it’s not common practice in New Zealand for parents to help with wedding payments. They might a little bit with the brides dress or things like that, but they don’t help pay for the actual wedding.

[Account]

I am very confused but people pay regardless, don't they?

Here guests either pay to help out the couple with expenses or they buy them something for their house. It is good manners.

I mean at the last wedding I went people paid and bought gifts, I thought that was the social norm.

So why would you put it as a condition? Isn't that something that people do regardless?

[avery58]

Ummm you could try it if you want to? But if I were you I'd word it as asking for a donation to help cover the food expenses.

[NathanDavis]

that's tacky AF...

if you can't afford the wedding in the first place... why are you marrying? lol... that's going to be even more expensive, and nevermind having a family

[molonski2]

NO..

Cancel the booking , and organise a park style function , with a BBQ or the like included , and get everything a lot less expensive , you can't ask people to pay to attend.

[SweetJoyGirl]

No offense, but why would people pay to go to a wedding? What is the point of hosting a wedding if people are paying to attend?
Maybe save up some money before getting married, first. 😅

[HelpfulWoman]

if you can't afford to get married, you shouldn't be doing so.

[Nikki1989]

Weddings don't have to be expensive. Our wedding cost us well under $100.

[Still-alive]

You can ask for donations but not require it. don't force anyone to pay especially when you are the one inviting them

[28ouc]

If your plan is to have as few people as possible it will be a grand success.

[Anonymous]

Never heard of that before