How old is too old to still be single/unmarried?

Question

I have Asian roots and my family are pressuring me to get married because I’m getting “too old” even though I just recently turned 30. My boyfriend and I are waiting at least another year before getting engaged so we can pay for the wedding ourselves.

I know in Asian culture still being unmarried at 30 is considered late but a lot of my non Asian friends are also still unmarried even at 35+ and some are even still single - yet they aren’t getting pressured by their families to get hitched.

Just interested to know what the people of GaG would consider to be too old to still be single/unmarried!

TheSpaceGnome · Accepted Answer

I'm Asian and no one in my family ever pressured me to get married.
I'm probably going to remain a single virgin for life because my work and hobbies are isolating and they matter more to me than sex or fixing loneliness.

Mind you I do really want a wife, I hate being alone and I have emotional needs. But I can't find a good match, and I don't get along with people enough to occupy the same home if they aren't basically a mental copy of me.

I spend most of my time doing science research, gaming, making art, watching anime, building things, making music, inventing, etc. If she doesn't do this stuff too, she'd end up spending very little time with me, and everytime thats happened with a friend, we drifted apart naturally and went our separate ways.

Because of this, its hard for me to say whats too old to be single/unmarried. I don't really want to apply a number to it, thats just going to create stress. I look the same now at almost 40 as I did at 14, I expect to still look this way at 80, or 100 or 150 because I just don't age most of the time, and when I do it heals and reverses.

My perspective on my future is basically being an old man who looks like a teen and watching people around me grow old and die. Unless I can find a woman who likes everything I like, hates everything I hate, and ages like properly stored honey, I'd say the right time to not be single, is probably never. At least for me anyway.

Its not what I want, but its what I'm left with.

You have a boyfriend, just marry him, wedding ceremonies are boring and overpriced anyway.

IHaveRespawned · Accepted Answer

I would say by your late 20s, it begins to suck. You will notice many of your friends and peers are married, some even with children. Their nuclear families become their focus, while single friends become less relevant.

I was lucky and found a woman that had never even kissed a boy before me, and we are now engaged to be married. She was 26 when we met; I was 29. I would say this is very rare, considering the vast majority of both men and women have been through the wringer by the time they are in their late 20s, and most will certainly have baggage.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Some folks will always be culturally pressured. That’s a fact that most likely won’t change. But would you rather marry the wrong person and feel burdened with THAT pressure or just deal with the nagging, which can be tuned out? In hindsight, as someone who was pressured into marrying young (for no discernible reason other than appeasing a general social norm) I’d rather have the nagging.

rosemilk · Accepted Answer

everyone's timeline is different. don't compare yourself to others, don't look at others accomplishments or timelines. focus on yourself and your relationship as it's the only one that matters and affects you. it's no one else's business. that's it

Lliam · Answer

You're never too old. I've known widows or widowers who have gotten remarried in their 70s.
But it depends on your goals. If you want to start a family, I'd say 35 is getting close to the maximum age limit for women. Men can remain virile much later.

Stevepro68 · Answer

There is no right or wrong answer. Most of this comes from families wanting grand children. And age has serious impact on the ability to have children especially healthy children. Add in culture and upbringing everyone has different opinions. my girlfriend is Asian heritage so we run into this, but at my age I have no problem telling them the way I feel. Takes the pressure off of her.

kitkatto · Answer

I’m also Asian and I totally get what you mean! I told my parents that I don’t want to get married until I’m 30-32 and they’re acting like I’d be nothing but skeletal dust by that time…

I think though it’ll be harder to find a partner if you’re 35+ so in my opinion, ideally you should get married before 35 (if that’s what you want, and especially if you want children).

Shiprex · Answer

You're American I presume so the Asian culture thing is the Americanisation of it.

However, you should grasp your own sensibilities and that of your spouse to be. THEY are the only people who should matter when it comes to marriage. The whole trad BS from wherever the ancestors you had came from is just irrelevant. Be your own ships captain and not follow or be towed by others.

RingOfFire · Answer

I don't think the answer is random. A woman's fertility begins to decline rapidly after 30 and if the intent is to have children together the longer you wait the more the risk that you won't be able to have them.

So in most cultures the tradition is for people to get married from their late teens through their mid 20s. That seems to be the norm according to nature since it is so pervasive across time and cultures.

Valdemort · Answer

There's no "too old" in relationship statuses. Do whatever feels right.

AlenX · Answer

I never understood, why anyone would "have to" marry. Is that still a thing? If two people understand each other and live together, why the hell would they have to marry? Unbelievable how religion just can not be rooted out of human minds

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Save yourself the experience and go to the courthouse and get married. If you are sure you want to get married, then it's better to just get on with married life than wait

itsannalee · Answer

I’m Asian and i don’t have any problems with not marriage or being single.

BCRanger10 · Answer

These days, I don't know of there is a "too old". I've had plenty of friends who didn't get married until their mid to late 30s.

Makeushiver · Answer

It depends on whether you want to be married. The only concern might be childbearing. The risk of problems does start to increase around 35 but plenty of women have children in their 40s now.

4ngelic · Answer

to me honestly never unless you want kids. i think to most people (western at least) for women i would say 35

Nikki1989 · Answer

25 and it starts to become unfortunate, but it is really a personal decision.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Yes, I know, we get it - I'm still here single at 31 however ; I'm STI/STD free thanks to my virginity 👀😆🍻

Entertained_Adult · Answer

Whatever your gravestone says, will be the number when it's too late.

annabananna · Answer

You’re never too old. Get married when you meet the right person and you’re ready. That’s different for different people.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

It only matters if it matters to you. If it doesn’t, then why waste energy on the subject of marriage?

Sluttt · Answer

Well it depends. If you can pull yoursslf to look young and stay young mind body soul then there is no age. Any guy want immotality from a woman

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I was 37 when I met my partner, she was 40. 6 years on we're engaged with 2 kids. Not too late

Fireguy17 · Answer

Marriage isn't for everyone.  I dont feel there an age limit.

bolverk · Answer

There are more single people than couples on this planet. I've tried twice but decided to stay single I'm now 63.

bddddd · Answer

150? You probably aren't going to find a knight in shining armor at that age.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

The average American male and female are thirty and twenty-eight, respectively, at first marriage.

Yohenis · Answer

Doesn't matter whenever you feel like settling you settle but for women after 30 it gets tough.

AviatorTom · Answer

One is never too old

Catailian94 · Answer

I don't think there is. Whenever your ready.

Vegasrunner · Answer

For woman I would say anything after 27 is the danger zone

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

never, not everybody is meant or wants to be with somebody

Anonymous · Answer

your chances of having fucked up babies increases the older you give birth.

Anonymous · Answer

40 for sure. From 30 on you'll be fighting an uphill battle. But after 40 it's all but over.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel like until 30 is a good age but after that it will be a bit lonely.

serious · Answer

Option C for sure.

oldpigg · Answer

At 30, she's already missed the boat; there are many more beautiful, younger women.

Babebytheshore85 · Answer

Another year? Lol he's putting it off because you are not who he wants.

LiamS95 · Answer

There is no too old age too not be married

dudeinohio · Answer

Any age is good still.

nawtee_me · Answer

99 maybe. It is a choice afterall

MasterKS · Answer

Age is just a number. its your choice.

PaleDale · Answer

There's no one age

Jeff51 · Answer

No age limit. It happens when it happens

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