My problem with the kids I'm currently babysitting?

[Anonymous]

Hello.
I just started babysitting those 2 boys aged 11 and 13. The problem is as soon as their mother left they jumped on me and took my shoes and socks and told me that as I’m their “slave” I have to stay barefoot entire time. I gotta say I found this really uncomfortable as I’m wouldn’t take my socks even at my home. And when their mother came back and saw me barefoot I told her about their “rule” and she just laughed and told me that it’s not a big deal and told me “get on with it”.
Am I really making this a big deal? I have to go there today again, what should be my response if they demand my socks again?

Updates

+1 y

To answer some of your questions together:
The kids won't take no for an answer. I can't quit the job because this job is actually a lame punishment given by my mom. So I don't know what to do.

[Alwayreckles93]

If you can't control or handle this situation then this babysitting job is not for you if you can handle these two boys. You are making it a huge deal. Come on you were a kid once too I bet you acted out too. Did you tough about playing video games taking them to play outside? Let someone else take this nanny position you aren't ready to be dealing with kids.

[Asker]

You're right I'm bad at handling this situation. But it's not my decision to babysit those kids, my mom is forcing me to. So what can I do in this situation?

[Alwayreckles93]

Just be honest, let some else that has experience with children take the nanny spot.

[Asker]

I'd love to quit the job but as I mentioned my mom is forcing me to do it, I never wanted it.

[Alwayreckles93]

You aren't a kid anymore How old are you 18,24? Why are letting your mom control you? Now if you were 16 or 17 okay I would understand but you are an adult now. Anyway you should have move out by the time you turn 18.

[Asker]

I'm actually 16, will be 17 next month...

[Alwayreckles93]

Why are you lying about your age on this site?

[Asker]

I just randomly entered it sorry about that.

[Alwayreckles93]

Still if your 16 your older , Your letting your kids bully you? Your the older one here and just your not ready to handel kids.

[Asker]

Yes I'm not ready that's why I'm asking for your help:( What exactly should I do?

[Alwayreckles93]

A wise older woman told me always be problem solver not the problem.

[Asker]

Please stop judging me it's not helping:(

[Alwayreckles93]

Not judging if this is stressing you out so much just have a good talk with your mom.

[Asker]

My mom wouldn't help me on this. I'm actually doing it as a lame punishment by her.

[Alwayreckles93]

What you do?

[Asker]

This is out of context but this is the situation, that's why I'm doing it.

[Alwayreckles93]

Just offer yourself to play video games all boys love video games or since you mentioned there mom spoiled them just hand then the tablet.

[Asker]

Yeah but what will I do it they demand my socks in the beginning again?

[Alwayreckles93]

Go to dollar tree buy two pairs of suck and next time say hey kids I have a surprise for you guess what I got Socks since you love socks so much here. Make a joke out of her it works with me.

[Asker]

It's funny but I don't think that it'd save me :D

[Alwayreckles93]

Why? I think it's funny

[Asker]

Because I don't think it the socks they want, they want my socks :D

[Alwayreckles93]

Use smelly stinky old sucks that will break the habit.

[Asker]

Eww and they'd just put them in the trash, giving them excuse...

[Alwayreckles93]

Just wear sandals 😉

[Asker]

Yeah that's an another problem. I actually really hate being barefoot that's why this bothers me so much. I don't even own any sandals. Now you know the whole story I guess :D

[Alwayreckles93]

Girl just lie to them and tell them , Oh yeah I love being barefoot it's so hot my feet need to breath , Don't you dare put my socks and shoes on. Came an take off my shoes. You gotta find ways girl.

[Asker]

:D while I really love your ideas I don't think that I can do it. You're again giving them excuses to threw my shoes and socks in the trash and now they seemed to know that I'm really uncomfortable about it...

[Alwayreckles93]

Okay I don't know what else to tell you lol I must say this is funny 😂 I never met a kid that is so obsessed with socks and shoes. Do the boys have any toys to play with at home? I must say this pandemic hit them hard their bord out of thei minds they find your shoes and socks 🧦 😅 so entertainment.

[Asker]

Yeah I'm sure it look funny from outside thanks for being honest about it 😅 I guess I am their toy now, they love to see me uncomfortable...

[Alwayreckles93]

Advice never tell a kid what you hate because they will do it on purpose lol Like hiding your shoes. How did you even met this weird socks family? 😂

[Asker]

My mom found them for me thanks mom 😅 And of course I didn't tell them that in the beginning, it's like they read my soul and found my weakness right away🙈

[Alwayreckles93]

Whens the next day you get to see them? Lol

[Asker]

Either tomorrow or day after tomorrow:( Why?

[Alwayreckles93]

I have to admit it's funny how they love your socks and shoes lol

[Asker]

Yeah it'd be just great if they loved them on my feet 😅

[Asker]

It's almost like you started to really enjoy my situation so that you don't really want to help me anymore 😅

[Alwayreckles93]

It's not that I ran out of options since you told me none of them would stop the boys lol

[Asker]

It's because I couldn't find any to stop them too 😅 So you think that I should accept my fate and give them my shoes and socks whenever they wanted?

[Asker]

Please answer me before I have to go there, as you can see I'm even ready for the worst possible idea:(

[Asker]

You there Alwaysreckless?

[Asker]

So I went there again and decided to try your idea with bringing another pair of socks to them as a joke. So I bought a pair and gave it to them, they laughed at it and while I thought maybe this is working then said "now your socks..." and they took them away from me before even I could react :( And on top of it they said that if I don't bring extra pair of socks everyday I visit like this one, they won't even give my own socks back in the end 😭 So your bright plan didn't work well, so what do I do now? 😅

[Boodica]

Think through some responses. If you do not think you can handle these guys ganging up on you, quit. Now that you know what they are like I would be cautious, & prepared for the next assault. I would not tolerate it, & I would feel unsafe.

[Asker]

I can't quit unfortunately, I don't know what else I can do about it.

[Boodica]

You are putting yourself in danger. Perhaps you might talk with their parents. Or ask someone you trust, a teacher, a counselor, a friends parent. I wouldn't go back. Read up on how to deal with unruly boys. No one should be forced into an unsafe disrespectful environment. You might want to learn some skills from watching some videos on parenting. You are not babysitting. You are parenting uncontrollable boys. It may be too much for you. It would be for me. Find another job.
www.supernanny.co.uk/.../Parenting-Skills.aspx

[Boodica]

If it is a lame punishment then let those brats do what they want, & tell the parents the truth that you can't control them & they are wildly out of control. Let 'em rip. In other words, make them fire you.

[Asker]

I already told their mother as I mentioned in the question. She just didn't care like it's not a big deal. Am I making it a big deal?

[Makeushiver]

check the parents medicine cabinet for benzos, e. g. valium, librium, canax, ativan give some to the kids and take a couple youself. get some plastic ties & platicuff them so they can't get into any crap. get on a pc find some porn and get yourself off esp, if she has some good vibrators

[NathanDavis]

I have two suggestions... (one might be orthodox)

draw boundaries and respect...

... or wear these.

[Asker]

Thank you. I'm apperantly bad at the first one so maybe I should try the second one :D

[NathanDavis]

Every culture and background has their own ways to inspire respect and boundaries, in this case you have adults that are not being adults... so the kids don't see the need to behave. There's just no consequences for their actions.

Should be not up to you really, to set them straight. So it is tricky.

[Asker]

Yes it's really tricky. I don't know what to do.

[NathanDavis]

well, I am only thinking of bad ideas probably...
When my brothers didn't want to do something, they would just do a terrible job at it, so they would not be asked to do it again. But you're taking care of kids, so no.

Maybe get the mother's shoes and give them to the dog and claim you don't know what happened but she should get on with it... see? bad ideas.

But if you really want to try to undo the kids bad habits, then maybe you can think of something they really enjoy and like to do, other than mess with you... keep them distracted and entertained on something else.

[Asker]

You're right trying to get fired might not be a good idea. I understand but what will I do when they demand my socks again in the beginning?

[NathanDavis]

Well...
First you have to raise the tone of your voice, you don't have to yell or shout, just be way more firm and assertive, and be clear. You just say No, it's not going to happen. and you say stop. and that is it, you don't take any answer for an answer, you just say how it is and then do that, You're the adult here.

And then, if things get physical, you have to consider their size, if we're talking about kids that are taller and heavier than you, then they might just try to force you. So this is when the problem really starts, fighting back is not a good idea, so you should think if you can defend yourself, and can you actually stop them. If you can't stop physically stop them and they still force you, then this ia very serious thing, it's not a childish thing. This is when you have to fight the adults, your mother and their mother (and I mean to have serious discussion with them)... by the way, where are the fathers in this scenario, because I think they should be in here and maybe put some order as they should ( uh oh toxic masculinity- trigger warning )

[Asker]

Yes they are physically stronger than me when they are together. As I mentioned I tried to mentioned their mom about their rule but she didn't care about it. I don't know about their father, never seen him. And I don't think that mentioning it to my mom would be a good idea...

[NathanDavis]

You will have to tell the adults and fight them about this, especially your mother.

No girl should ever take this situation, being physically forced and overpowered by men and then just "get on with it", even if they're "kids" that is just all kinds of wrong,
is not a good precedent for them and for you two, so. Just refuse to be part of this. Don't even show up to babysit.

[Asker]

My mom wouldn't help me on this. Actually I'm doing this job as a lame punishment by her! That's why I said it would not be a good idea...

[NathanDavis]

Then, I guess you'll have to get used to this, so maybe show up wearing sandals, toss those at them, and then just go on with your day.

[Asker]

Yeah but the problem is that I really hate being barefoot, I don't even own sandals. That's why this is bothering me so much:(

[NathanDavis]

Play some music and dance to it... you'll get used to it and might turn it around into something really fun. I suggest this song, a classic... because my girlfriend used to dance to this while she cooked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CTJcHjkq0E

[Asker]

That's a nice song but it really doesn't solve my problem :D what will I do when they demand my socks again in the beginning?

[NathanDavis]

Plan D... do scream to the top of your lungs like a high pitched rabid banshee, till their ears start to bleed, I know I would keep a distance from that.

[Asker]

Maybe you're just giving them an excuse to kick my ass 😅 Also bringing in the neighbours would not be good for me... But I really love you ideas :D any other bright one?

[NathanDavis]

Let's see... are you cute? are you a good actress? maybe you could pretend and cry and sob, and get maybe a bit hysterical about all the (made up) problems you have and just keep going and going then maybe some add some laughther to really confuse them, as if you were going a bit crazy, this can also keep them at a distance. how does that sound? (many men just can't look a cute girl crying) you could also add some cheaper make-up that is not water-proof, for enhanced dramatic effect.

[Asker]

I don't think that I can do that too. I'm just really shy and silent in general. I don't think that I can pull this out before my footwear getting confiscated 😅

[NathanDavis]

Maybe it's just time to find your inner Katy Perry...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CevxZvSJLk8

[Asker]

I can't really roar I'm more like a cat 😅

[NathanDavis]

my cat is of a smaller size naturally, and she has fought off a few male cats away that are twice as big, they sure could fighter her back easily, but she still throws her ninja punches and hisses them out five yards away... males respect that, so. Stand your ground little lady, and keep your boots on.

[Asker]

I'll probably have to go there again tomorrow and or the day after tomorrow. Is your last advice is to wear boots that hard to get stolen?

[NathanDavis]

Yes, higher than your ankle like the one from the pic, should do the trick.

[Asker]

I don't have any as high in the picture but close. Hopefully it'll stop them :D

[NathanDavis]

get'em tigress

[Asker]

I hope so :D

[OfDeath]

Tell them you have a deadly foot fungus which is only contained by your prescription medicated socks and if you have bare feet, their lives are in danger.

[Toast792]

Lmao do it

[Asker]

Hahaha nice idea it might have worked if I did it in the first time, they wouldn't believe it if I try that in the second visit I think.

[OfDeath]

It was only just diagnosed.

[andreasderjuengere]

When you turn up next time, you can have three pairs on.
Between each pair, there's a thick layer of Nutella.
Enjoy.

[Tstrbrainer]

Don't give those to them the next time that's it.

If they try to forcefully take your shoes and socks, hit them and call the cops.
Kids need some juvie time

[Asker]

Calling cops on kids for stealing my shoes and socks?

[Tstrbrainer]

Maybe

[Anonymous]

Maybe just be glad it was socks, and not your leggings and panties!!

[Asker]

Yeah I should be grateful as they didn't rape me...

[Opinion Owner]

Nobody should ever be concerned, and feel insecure, about being sexually assaulted. I kind of made a joke, thinking it was just these silly little boys, but it sounds like maybe you were unsure, and concerned that something more could happen!
Remember, in any case like that, a SOLID KICK to his groin is going to stop any sexual ideas he has!!

[Daniel_Dano]

They are old enough to take care of themselves, try babysit children who are younger that actually need babysitting.

[Asker]

Having this job is not my choice unfortunately, my mom is making me do it...

[Daniel_Dano]

Don't let your mom force you into doing anything.

[Asker]

It's actually a lame punishment for me given by her...

[Daniel_Dano]

How old are you?

[Asker]

16 (will be 17 soon).

[Dinosaursandanime65]

They’re weird. Just don’t be a pussy. Honor to the end. You can win with it always even if you lose

[Asker]

How do I win this?

[Dinosaursandanime65]

You could try making them your friends. I heard once that’s the best way to defeat someone.

[Asker]

What should be my response if they demand my socks again in the beginning?

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Maybe you’ll get an alternative outcome you wear leggings or something like that. Don’t those start from you feet and up to your thighs?

[Clairvear69]

Are you real. This does not happen, you are not child.
You tell child what to do, story ends.

[Asker]

They don't listen to me:( I dont know what to do...

[Clairvear69]

But why you listen to them? You still get paid, all you do is tell them no, is easy

[Asker]

I don't. When they told me to take off my shoes I refused but then they jumped on me!

[Clairvear69]

Police call is easy

[Asker]

Please be serious:(

[Clairvear69]

I am, it is assault even if younger.
Here a girl was raped by boys and they arrested, she was babysitter.

[Asker]

They didn't rape me. I don't think it's a crime.

[Alwayreckles93]

Why would she called the police over socks? lol

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't babysit for someone who doesn't teach their kids respect. So I would find someone else to babysit for if I were you.

[Asker]

It's not my decision my mom is forcing me to do it:(

[Opinion Owner]

Double knot your shoes? Also why are you babysitting an 11 and 13 year old? They're old enough to take care of themselves.

[Asker]

I don't know that. So I should try to keep my shoes on somehow is that what you're saying?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I double knot my shoes so I don't trip over my shoe laces at work, but it still takes me 2 minutes to untie my shoes when I get home from work. I bet if you did that they would give up before they could untie your shoes.

[Asker]

OK thanks I'll try that hopefully it'd work.

[exitseven]

Can you get ahold of a taser?

[boggboss]

This sounds so fucking fake

[spartan55]

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[BubbaTech]

Wear sandles no socks

[Asker]

The thing is I hate being barefoot I don't even own sandals...

[joeldalton]

You are the one in charge, not them.

[Asker]

You're right but I can't control them like that:(

[joeldalton]

Yes, you can. Put your shoes back on.

[Asker]

They hid them I didn't see them until the very end.

[joeldalton]

ok, buddy.

[Asker]

Any other bright ideas?

[pokenstroke]

If they make you uncomfortable quit

[Asker]

I'd love to but my mom is forcing me to do it:(

[pokenstroke]

Did you tell her how the rug rats treat you and the mom does not care

[Asker]

Yes as I mentioned in the question I told her about their "rule" and she was like "get on with it"...

[pokenstroke]

Do not play their game, they will complain, maybe you get fired

[Asker]

But how do I not do it?

[pokenstroke]

Put your socks and shoes back on, refuse to be the slave, do not play, be the boss

[Asker]

They hid them until the very end so I couldn't put them on:(

[pokenstroke]

Just refuse to play with them

[Asker]

They don't care if I don't play with them, they are playing with me...

[pokenstroke]

Do they play in ways they should not

[Asker]

No I can't blame them like that. That's not the case.

[pokenstroke]

Can you find another job

[Asker]

No this job is actually a lame punishment given by my mom...

[pokenstroke]

You must really have done something bad

[Asker]

This is out of the context... So what should I do?

[pokenstroke]

I am guessing you live with your mom, and at the moment can not move out

[Asker]

You guessed right. And I'm actually 16 years old (about to be 17)

[pokenstroke]

Makes a big difference, i do not know what to tell you, if you want to talk in private you cam dm me

[Asker]

I'd actually be more comfortable talking from here. Any ideas would be appraciated...

[pokenstroke]

Ok it is just getting long

[Asker]

Yeah so sorry about it:( but it really helps to hear your opinions.

[pokenstroke]

The fact that you are suffering, your mom loves it, part of the punishment

[Asker]

Are you saying that my mom knew about this is happening?

[pokenstroke]

Maybe not, but if you came home and complained, she might have thought it added to it

[Asker]

But I never told her what happened, didn't want her to feel the victory I suppose...

[pokenstroke]

Miss understanding, i said tell your mom, you thoughg i said tell their mom

[Asker]

No I already told it to their mom as I mentioned in the question and she just didn't care. I answered why I didn't tell my mom.

[Anonymous]

LOL that's absolutely not a big deal

[Asker]

So you really wouldn't mind if you were in my shoes?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know but I think being barefoot is cool so just get habituated

[Asker]

Yeah but I really hate it I normally wear socks almost 24/7 at home. So being forced to do it really embarrassing for me.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe it's the occasion for you to get used to it because you'll have other occasion to be barefoot

[Asker]

I don't want to get used to it :D

[anylolone]

Run!

[Asker]

I can't. This is not a job I volunteered to. My mom is making me do it...

[anylolone]

Tell her and run.

[Asker]

This job is actually a lame punishment given by my mom. So she'd just enjoy it more if I tell her about it...

[Gedaria]

Tell them no.