What are some musical instruments that can be played using my penis?

[Anonymous]

Strumming the guitar strings is too painful.

Piano keys are parallel to the ground and if I incline the whole thing by placing books under the hind legs, so it's angled and I can reach and play, it's not making proper sounds.

Those are the only instruments I have at home but what do you suggest if i decide to buy something new?

[FunkyMonkee]

It depends on how big, how long and how trained it is. If it's long enough, you could play violin or cello with it. No matter what size it is, you can get someone to try to play flute with it. If you had two, you could play drums with them. Maybe you could use it for a guitar dick, er, ah, pick! You might be able to fuck, I mean, pluck the strings on a harp with it. If it were skinnier, you could use it as a piano key pecker. You might use it to play xylophone but it'd sound like you were playing it with a fish. You could use it to play a wind instrument if you could figure out a way to fart through it.

[bean2k21]

[NamerOfStars]

Maybe the theremin, if you're an earwig. It'd have to be a really small theremin, though.

[snackthatsmilesback]

Try the glass harp

[Sixgunsound]

I hear the President of Ukraine can play a piano with his during his comedy routine.

[Flower7]

This question is hilarious.

[exitseven]

I am thinking bongo drums.

[clampfan101]

You need to find a better hobby…

[Shamalien]

The skin flute

[NathanDavis]

the cowbell

[Googlemyahoo]

Harmonica

[Anonymous]

Drums. 😐

[Snakeyes7]

Xylophone?

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Piano?