I have been ignoring my one supervisor because he was rude to me but I want to make things better between us and not have there be tension?

[Anonymous]

I was wondering what are some ways or tips to do that? No rude comments please.

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes there absolutely is a way to fix this. You need to deal with this directly.

1. You need to ASK this manager if you can schedule a time to discuss something with them in private.

Doing this puts you in control of the dynamics of the entire conversation you're about to have. You've confidently told this manager that you will be addressing something with them in private. So, if the manager can't talk to you right then... they're left wondering: "what the fuck does she want to talk to ME about?" "Why ME? we don't even get along"? "Oh fuck... maybe it's about us not getting along"

Either way, you will certaily surprise this manager by asking for a time to meet. You will be putting them off-balance and on their back-foot. You are not "their boss" but you're taking charge of THIS situation (and that actually puts you in a very good position).

2. When your supervisor meets wiith you: be straight-up and direct.

Throw away the 'company talk' and appeal to them on a human level. You openly acknowledge that there is tention between you two. If they try and tell you that there isn't tension. Call them out for bullshitting. Make them agree to openly acknowledge that there HAS been tension between you two. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

Now, ideally, you would explain that: From your perspective, things soured when they did/said that rude thing to you. If it's AT ALL possible, you really should be up-front about this. First of all, it helps the person 'make sense' of your demeanor towards them. Secondly, it gives the person a chance to apologize for their past behavior. Most of the time, if someone was rude, they are able to see that after the moment has past (and usually would be willing to apologize). This can help clear the air on your end, if the person acknowledges and apologizes for the past behavior.

Even if you don't bring up the rudeness; the point is that you've both agreed openly that there is tension between you.

From there, things can go several ways.

Maybe it's a matter of having a simple 'clear the air' conversation... where you each basically agree to put the past behind you and try and relate differently from now on. If they appologize for being rude, this is the route the conversation will take. I have literally had this conversation with bosses, and ended up walking out of their office and felt "all good" about them afterwards.

Maybe the supervisor has some specific problem with somethig you've said or done (maybe you were unknowingly rude to them at some point in the past).

Regardless, by calling-out the situation you CAN EASILY fix this. The supervisor isn't enjoying thee tension any more than you are. If you meet this head-on, and each 'air your grievances and apologize for wrongs committed' then you will definitely make things better between you two.

It just takes guts. But it works!

[Anonymous]

You didn't get enough advice the last 7 times you posted this?