Have you ever reached your breaking point?

[Agape93]

[ZXCwWRQWz]

I had this one break-up that really traumatized me and I think it might have done something way more intense than usual.

That said, we were engaged to be married and she broke up just one week before our wedding day after I bought her the wedding ring and celebrated with my friends and colleagues about our marriage.

After the break-up, I resorted to drinking (I had quit drinking for the entirety of our relationship). Then I threw the most expensive wedding ring into the river and walked in front of intersections in red lights with cars swerving out of the way and ended up in jail. Then I fought the police officer who was my prison guard and kicked the doors until I was the only one shackled in the cell.

After being released it's like the whole world went black and white. I can't explain it entirely but I've always been empathetic to other people's feelings. But after that everyone just seemed like a robot. I don't give a shit if they die in the worst way. I even felt that about my closest friends and family. Whatever. They're not even human beings anymore in my eyes. They're like "things".

I got over it after a few years but that was a tough one.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

I was literally crying myself to sleep at night for over a year every single day. 365+ days. I would work as much as I could because any idle moment would get me teary-eyed and depressed. I really broke entirely but that thing I mentioned above about not being able to feel like people was the most striking note. I didn't even care if people I formerly loved died. They all seemed like robots to me. They would talk to me and they felt like robots. The whole world felt like robots so I didn't care what happens to them.

I also started going to the most dangerous places I could. I befriend Yakuza, gangsters in South Compton in LA (I worked for an American company going on business trips there), I never participated in crimes but I stood by with new friends who were hardened criminals doing their thing.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

The break-up in my case if people think I did something toxic wasn't so toxic even though I was a bit immature. I went to overseas business trip in the US for a week and came back around Christmas time with that ex I was living with and engaged to be married after my colleagues through a party for me getting married.

But this is the first time my ex saw me coming home after traveling overseas from Japan to the US. So I hugged her so much when I came home but I was so jetlagged and wanted to sleep. And she was bipolar and anemic and a major introvert and she took my desire to want to nap all day after I came home as a sign that I didn't love her, and she got upset and cried when I was just struggling to get out of bed that I didn't love her enough to do things together with her the moment I got back.

So then she said she had to think about our relationship and would appreciate it if she left our apartment (even though I was paying for it: technically mine) and so I did. But I went to my favorite bar and caught her there with my friends and she looked uncomfortable. So I left immediately and went to a flower shop and bought her favorite flowers. Then brought then inside along with a note and apologized and said I love her and she's the only one for me and maybe she was trying to play it cool in front of her girlfriends, but she got angry and tore up the flowers and didn't even read the note I wrote in front of everyone.

Then I got immature and called her the meanest person and I told everyone in the bar about her bipolar disorder and how I have to brush her hair every morning and make sure she takes her medicine and then she and her friends called me an asshole and my friends there at the bar took me away.

But my friends were tone-deaf and took me to a strip club thinking it would cheer me up but I quickly became angry and said I miss her so much. I wanted to see her.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Then she found out about the strip club even though I was angry there and shouting that I wanted to leave and said she doesn't understand who I am anymore and broke off the wedding engagement just a week before marriage. Then just a couple of weeks later after breaking our marriage, she ended up dating one of the people I considered a close friend that she talked to on the phone all the time.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Anyway, my bad for rambling so much! It really broke me and permanently changed my character. Sometimes it feels now like my life is split between that incident. Before I was one person and after I'm another because the only way I found to recover is to become a whole new person. I made whole new friends and did whole new things I never did before, and it feels like someone else thinking about her and before. It really feels like someone else. Maybe someone more good-spirited and ambitious and kind of dorky in my opinion and in comparison to all the things I did after.

[lightbulb27]

oh yea...

It's one of the greatest communicators you have... that something needs to change. That's what it takes, otherwise we keep doing what we always have. Great lessons are ahead for those that are willing...

[FreyaRed]

I'm sure there is a breaking point but I know it's not at emotional level. I can bland fade out emotions if I want to. The question, does it makes me to a Jedi or to a psycho?

[melanieeeB]

Uhm I have reached my personal rock bottom but I got up.. if that counts lol

[Agape93]

It does indeed, and I'm glad you recovered

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, I always ask myself when will I ever give in and make a change of living for myself, because I can't stand someone who does substance abuse and will not go into treatment for themselves.

[ArtemisSilver]

Yes several times. It's an opportunity to pick up the pieces and become something more beautiful.

[goaded]

Apparently not, I'm still alive and I haven't killed or severely beaten anyone yet. I've come close more times than I like to admit.

[Rockstarrrrr]

...

[worldscolide]

Depends on what you mean by breaking point. Braking point as in I give up, or breaking point as in "I'm going to snap."

[hammeronfire]

Yes I have. I was super drunk, wrote a suicide note that was 7 pages but illegible by page 4, cut my arms up, opened the pills, and passed out before I could take them. This was October 5 2020

[Walrus_au]

yup

https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZpUYjpKg9KY

[TroyDT2]

Nope. If my grandpa's death didn't do it, not sure what can.

[LordOfThePines]

Are you doing alright?

Almost, but thankfully I have not.

[Agape93]

Nope

[Hardworkingguy]

Yes when I was in high school and some classmates were bothering me

[Zolly99999]

Depends on the situation but I have on occasion

[420Rachel]

I think I’m about there…

[Agape93]

Need to talk hon?

[Anpu23]

Yes a few times recently.

[Agape93]

You doing ok

[Anpu23]

Lots of things going on. Im not really sure.

[Msputiton]

Naw. I'm unbreakable 💪🏾

[PrettyPriya]

How about when Pauly bullies?

[Msputiton]

@PrettyPriya i usually break him.

[PrettyPriya]

@PummledPauly

[Andres77]

yup. at the end of two marriages.

[Charliefretz329]

Definitely yes… not good

[Batsy01010101]

numerous times