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I can’t take it anymore, I get mean looks constantly without makeup on, what would you do if you were in my shoes?

I wasn’t sure how to make this a question it’s more like a cry for help and me venting my emotions. Im basically getting getting laughed at every single day. I mean it’s just not fair other people who are ugly don’t get mean looks they just get rejected. It’s awful my life is awful. I thought about killing myself last night because I can’t take it anymore! The only reason I haven’t killed myself is because it’s painful to kill yourself like there’s no easy way out and I know what extreme physical pain feels like too so don’t want to go through with it… and get this, when I put the makeup on I actually look good… and I don’t get mean looks anymore. So basically I’m ugly without makeup and pretty with it on. It’s like that one k drama called true beauty where she pretty with the makeup on and made fun of when she doesn’t wear it. Like with my makeup on all of a sudden men are opening doors for me while telling me to have a nice day, smiling at me, and they’re just super nice to me over all, it’s like dam. Trust me, It’s the exact opposite of when I don’t wear makeup, so what happened to my face? I don’t get it. Maybe my question is do I have to treat my face more? Like with skin products? I don’t have acne either.

I can’t take it anymore, I get mean looks constantly without makeup on, what would you do if you were in my shoes?
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