Have you ever did a Good Deed that backfired on you for no reason?

[Finchie40]

I been teaching my neighbors’ son that has disabilities On how to play guitar , the kid is so happy and excited that I been taking the time to teach him , he is 15 years old but sadly he is like an 9 year old , he does t have any friends’ so another reason I do this for him , so I go over to their house after work every Wednesday to teach him for an half hour or more , I am just teaching him the basics and he is so happy and excited when he knows I am coming over , He texts me every Wednesday morning and asks if I am coming over , I am also friends’ with his parents’ and things were fine for some time , but now the parents took a break from each other apparently and the husband hasn’t been around , the husband called me out of the blue and asked me personal questions about his wife , basically asking if I noticed any cars in the driveway etc. I told him No , I haven’t really noticed a thing , I said I didn’t even know that you weren’t there. He asked me to pretty
Much spy on her and keep tabs on her , and I told him sorry but I don’t want to be caught in the middle of this whatsoever, He said Why are you fucking my wife? I said you’re joking right , but No man I am not , I said whatever is going on with you and your wife is between you guys’ so please don’t drag me into this whatsoever I said I am just doing this for your son. He apologized and said he was sorry for saying that to me. Now I am debating on whether I should go there today after work , I already promised their son I was coming , but I don’t want to be caught in the middle of this whatsoever , . I don’t know if I should say anything and just keep my mouth shut to his wife , but if the wife tells me things , I was just thinking I should just play dumb and act like I have no clue what’s going on. What would you do in this situation?

[Rosexøxø]

Tell them you won’t be talking to either of them until there is some reconciliation of some sort between them and they are on speaking terms. Establish you’re only there for the kid. Consider inviting a friend or a lady friend who maybe you’re dating or so, so you can tell that to the guy. I think worse case scenario you know, I’d if he really assumes you’re doing with her, he’d try and fight you, but I don’t think it’d get to that. I think over text you can clarify how you are neutral and uninterested in her. If he’s there in person he can see for himself you being with the kid or having a friend. So he shouldn’t give much issue. If he’s crazy he will probably have someone else or he himself keep tabs on her so he should see you aren’t doing anything and just teaching the kid as you had said to him and us.

If you need proof on your side just tell him to ask the kid what he has learned so the kid can indeed show him what you’ve already taught him. Don’t break the promise with the kid if you care about him. And if not saying you will, but don’t go for that lady. Go for any other lady. If the kid is actually important. If he’s not still consider not going for that lady. If you want the lady don’t hurt the kid. Don’t stay over there too long and don’t offer to be the lady’s lended ear or so. If she says anything to you it could become more common and if he sees any kind of intimacy between you two he will suspect you’re doing that with your own agenda and her or with her. Just keep a social distance. Keep things firm and save the friendly smiles for another time. The guy should see reasonably you’re okay, but if he freaks out then you just have to dodge a punch and probably from there discuss teaching the kid somewhere other than her house or not anymore. If you end things with the kid consider a farewell pet that’s easy to care for and lives super long like a tortoise or parrot, and congratulate him on graduating the guitar and maybe say you will visit another time after a vacation “ “ or just leave him with his prize and then don’t see him anymore. Or wean the time off until it’s just a few minutes a day and then leave. This way he’s not hurt and confused.

Hopefully this is temporary and things get resolved. Unfortunate for you and the kid more so. The couple too. Hope things work out for the best.

[Rosexøxø]

I’m saying you can be distant socially and still physically present for the kid. Don’t distance until you’ve explained the reason for your distance in a neutral form so they can see you see them both equally the same and not leaning to either side. This way he won’t assume you’re just ignoring him and trying to do her or she won’t get offended either.

Be there for the kid and give them the cold shoulder. They’re two adults and need to settle their differences already. And move on. Ideally between themselves or with counseling. They can’t bark or bite people or friends or neighbors heads off just for being around. The world doesn’t revolve around them two. The kid is very much there and important and they should be considerate of that. Clearly you’re being the mature person. So kudos for that.

And the kid is possibly oblivious or senses tension so he’s grateful more so for your company during this time. And the positive outlet with music. It’ll be good for him. Something he can try and do on his own if he needs space on his own. Away from drama and all.

Be present. Be socially distant/firm. With them. The kid is most important in this situation. They’re just being dramatic. I wish them the best regardless.

It’s also to keep the ties short cause we don’t know if she’d throw herself at you to make him jealous or cause a commotion or even if she just got desperate or something. We don’t know their reasons for conflict or how they plan to fix that but it’s not your problem. You’re there for the kid so don’t even wonder about it. Just make it clear to them your intentions and say no further and do nothing more with them. That’s all I can suggest and what I’d try IF I were a GUY in this situation even if roles reversed and it was the guys kid and I was the lady giving the kid lessons and the other lady accused me- I’d still do the same as I suggested. It applies to both scenarios.

[Anastacia1989]

Continue giving the son lessons - it’s a good deed you’re doing but politely tell the parents you’re not getting involved in their personal affairs / problems- you’re only there for the kid that has special needs.

[Finchie40]

Yup I said it last night to the wife , because she did tell me about her and her husband , I just said I am sorry to hear about it and I hope you both are able to work things out she just rolled her eyes and I just laughed , and then put my full attention on their son ,

[BiHubbyFlor]

Often as guys we get these things back firing or caught in the middle and accused!

Whenever we try and help the homeless they want more, money, or they don't want what we are giving they want Thier Starbucks not the free coffee we are handing out.

Helped my sister in law baby sit and take her baby to the park. She adores spending time with me but there is always that mom that sees a MAN and thinks that we are just there to stare at the kids!

Got the cops called on me for watching my niece! Going up on the play ground and playing also.

The women had no kids there! Just stopped by and decided I should never be there having fun.

[Finchie40]

Sorry to hear that man , that same shit happened to me as well , I use to take my kids’ swimming at a local pool and I would swim with my kids’ and throw them , they had so much fun , of course other kids’ wanted to join in , so I would throw them to , and all the parents seemed cool with it and was happy I was giving their kids’ attention , accept this one bitch that decided I was a pedophile and called the cops on me , The cops pulled me aside and I told them the truth that I was just horsing around with the kids’ and having fun and in no way shape or form was I doing anything inappropriately , All the other parents’ jumped in and supported me by saying I did nothing inappropriate at all and then , they all pointed at that bitch and said she has serious mental issues , the cops then asked her to leave the pool , and the pool banded her from ever coming in again. I never saw that bitch again lol

[BiHubbyFlor]

It's never the parents! Just someone deciding your having to much fun I'll ruin it.
Parents are happy Thier kids are having a great time.

[joehypo1]

Yes and it is a long story but a girl ended up dying from a abusive foster mother , I was the last person to get her daughter out of the house , she was. starved to death there is a lot more to the story but my girlfiend simply answered a craigslist ad then made me do all the heavy work

[Nikki1989]

I would stay out of the personal lives of others. The most important thing is the child's well-being. He clearly benefits greatly from your lessons, and disrupting them would be a shame.

[Finchie40]

Yea I don’t want to stop giving him lessons because his parents’ aren’t doing well , I just don’t want to be in the middle of their drama whatsoever and already the husband is trying to pull me into it , which I immediately said No. So I am still going there after work and whatever happens happens , I will tell the wife to not drag me into it either , I don’t want any parts of it , I am just there for their son period

[Nikki1989]

That would be my attitude as well.

[Ladsin2]

All of them all the time at work. I try to give people discounts or shortchange myself and then the project ends up taking 6x as long as I thought it would and they get pissy at me and my boss is pissed about the money and I'm pissed because I have to be there so long.

[Ariesman81]

I gave a homeless person at an intersection $5. Pulled out when my light changed and got side swiped. Dude didn't even check to see if I was ok.

[NathanDavis]

there's always a reason

[Finchie40]

True but a reason that shouldn’t involve you personally

[NathanDavis]

you got close to someone... it is personal since you did that

[PrincessC16]

Way to stand your ground!

[RageBabe]

Hmm, no, I don't think so.

[sage2021]

Big time!!