Do you ever feel like an ant building an anthill time and time again and, every time you're nearly finished building one, someone knocks it down?

[FunkyMonkee]

Updates

9 d

It just happened to me AGAIN a few hours ago!! It's happened so many times in my life that I'm just DONE ever trying, again, to rebuild one!!! Bust my ass to create a long-lasting relationship or a collection of this or that & then it ALL gets taken away from you before you make everything work out the way you planned for it to!! There's nothing left for me in this life other than to just die alone. I've suffered so much loss in just the past 30 years, it's stupid to even bother trying, anymore!

Updates

9 d

Just about everything and everybody I've ever touched either falls apart, dies or gets taken away from me!! How much lower can I be expected to go?
I was told 2 years ago that we would be together forever! Well, forever came this afternoon about 4.5 hours ago!!
Other than my writings, recording projects and record collection, none of which anyone else will ever enjoy, there's nothing left for me in this life!! Looks like I'm not ever supposed to be happy!! I don't live, I just exist!

[exitseven]

I'm really sorry Funky. You seem like a good guy that deserved better. . You have to keep punching. If you quit, they win.

[FunkyMonkee]

Thank you but, it's nothing at all against her, per se. It's just my life in general. Every time I think I've got a good relationship going with someone, something causes them to bolt!! This last one's a REALLY GREAT girl and I seriously doubt I'll ever put her down. I'm pretty sure that, eventually, once she gets some alone time, we can still be great friends, if nothing else. I just HATE the build up with my emotions, investing all my love and what have you into a relationship that I'm PROMISED will be a forever thing when it NEVER IS a forever thing!! This is the biggest reason I never put everything into a potential relationship, anymore!! After getting my fingers burned time and time again, I HAVE to be careful!!! And I REALLY HATE having to be that way because that really ends up sucking for her, too because she's probably not getting everything from me that she deserves but, as they say, once burned, twice shy! It's the same way with women, too! They claim all men are the same! Well, I'm here to tell you that ALL MEN ARE NOT the same!!! It's just that they tend to pick the shitty ones when the good ones are staring them in the face!! You know, the ones they NEVER even give a CHANCE to no matter how much he proves that he'd be perfect for her!
I don't think I have any more punch left in me! I'm pretty much calling it quits! As the song says, "If I can't have you, I don't want nobody, baby!". I'm just tired of the fight to get something going only to have it crash and I'm tired of bothering to try... especially if that IS going to be the ultimate outcome!

[Cidknee]

You should write a book. Maybe your memoirs.

[FunkyMonkee]

I'm working on it. I get into it and then get interested in other things for a while, then come back to it.

[Cidknee]

I see. Well good luck on it!

[Iron_Man]

no, I don’t feel that way