Girls, you see a handsome guy at a grocery store. What do you want him to say to you to end up getting your #?

[Anonymous]

You're shopping at the grocery store and see an attractive guy shopping as well. What do you want him to say to you? How do you intend on exchanging numbers?

I could be wrong, but it seems like only specific situations lend itself to this chance meeting to an actual date. I can think of this example that might work fairly well:

-The guy sees you looking at some exotic food items that he likes as well. Perhaps it looks like you’re into a particular cuisine or are about to make a special dish. The guy also is partial to that cuisine or dish and begins to ask about it. A conversation ensues between the two of you about that food topic. You eventually exchange numbers to continue in the future.

But exchanging numbers would seem to be a lot harder in other situations at the store. Example:

-The guy sees you picking some healthy food items. He gives you a compliment that you’re healthy or that your choice is a healthy one. (This conversation seems harder to develop and progress into the exchanging of numbers).

What do you expect such a guy to say to you at the store, especially if you two are strangers?

[ArtistBboy]

The truth: Forget the "past" and the "Future"... E.g. stop worrying about what to say, or that you want her number.

Instead: Worry about the "now" - that is.. Postulate what you want to do that moment. Are you genuinely curious about why she's picking out dinner here and why she's not going out on a date? Are you wanting to be comical and invite yourself to dinner? Do the "now" but be genuine about it.

The problem isn't in HOW most guys ask. Sure, we come off a little wrong. Some seem to lack confidence, some seem to be arrogant. But I've seen a lot of insecure / arrogant / fat / douche / etc guys dating very outstounding women. My point being is that the problem most guys face is being genuine - they don't follow up their intro "one liner" with actual listening. They don't try to relate to the conversation, they are too busy thinking about that number and how they are being perceived. OR they are too worried about getting laid. *Rolls eyes*.

Instead, just show that you're human too. It's likely to work out a lot better. And if you need an example for that, go to the grocery store and watch how any two individuals interact. Especially elderly-clerks at the store, you'd be surprised how swift and smooth the conversation flows. The only way the conversation will flow that natural (giving a genuine vibe) is by practice. Speak to whomever you can and try to find something about the conversation that intrigues you. If not, try to see if you can take a listening class and start there, it helped me a lot.

~ ArtistBBoy

[funkadelic5]

You're beginning to sound like Bruce Lee.

That's a good thing, btw.

[ironlion365]

Prodigenous! Very well said!

[ironlion365]

Hey, I had a question regarding this statement you made " If not, try to see if you can take a listening class and start there, it helped me a lot." How big was the change when you spoke to women? Usually women are fearful about being listened to, too carefully for fear that they have to do the same to you, or worse that they have to give you more than you gave them in listening... you can message me privately or here, I don't mind. Thanks!

[ArtistBboy]

Listening is just that, which was why I was shocked. Judgement is not listening, it's a response from our emotions to another person's actions. Something like that DOES strike a lot of fear in the person who is receiving judgement. But if you are listening, it REALLY helps. Specific examples, is that I had a hard time relating to my girlfriend (whiny / always complaining / etc) because I was making judgements. Once I started listening and asking clarifying questions / showing concern (continued)

[ArtistBboy]

(cont..) empathy/etc.. She was a lot happier, which made less fights (issues).. In turn leading to us being able to have fun and actually hold longer conversations. Where we were able to assertively state what made us upset or happy / how we want to be treated / etc.. Without thinking either of us are doing "wrong".. the difference is phenomenal

[MrInquisitive]

dont make it more difficult then it has to be, you don't have to wait for the perfect opportunity to ask for her number. just go up and talk to her..if things seem to be hitting off ask for her number. I know I'm not a girl but thought id toss in my 2 cents.

[Asker]

Thanks. Could you please suggest some things to talk to her about. Keep in mind you're complete strangers. What about if you don't notice anything interesting about her actions, what she's wearing, what she's doing at the store, etc. She's just shopping and you simply find her attractive. It would seem you would have to force the issue and invent something to break the ice.

[MrInquisitive]

its hard to go into the store with a gameplan like that, every girls different. you have to feel her out when you start talking to her and go from there. a good icebreaker could be walking by her, then taking a double take and mentioning how gorgeous her eyes are or something. eyes are generally a failsafe, its not creepy to compliment them on eyes whereas if your compliment them on their body its about 50/50 of being really creepy.

[Asker]

If you force the issue or invent something, then it won't be natural. E.g. you pretend that you find something she's picking out interesting and start to talk about it. Or you pretend that you need advice on a particular store item, so you ask her. These things won't be natural, and it's dishonest too. It seems like it would backfire.

[Asker]

I appreciate the suggestion, but I'm not into complimenting looks first. It's more genuine to actually compliment her behavior, imo. If I just say something about her looks first, then it would make me seem superficial.

[Asker]

Perhaps if I were curious about her race, after taking the double take I could ask her about it. I think a conversation could easily develop from there. Then I might give a compliment on her eyes. What do you think?

[MrInquisitive]

ehhh I don't think I would point out her race, you want to make it look like you noticed her for her beauty, not her nationality

[dodgersmom11]

umm if he is attractive, I won't bother. out of my league. I only go for average looking guys. I don't expect a nice looking man to chase after a average jane

[Anonymous]

As long as he is not being a jerk and at some point in the conversation he asks for my number or offers me his then it doesn't matter.

[stillagoodgirl]

I've never seen anyone attractive unless its at night or he's working there..but then again those guys are too old for me