What does a long kiss on the cheek mean?

i have a thing for this guy, and we've hooked up a couple of times. beforehand, we were talking, and then one night...it kinda led to more. I've asked him where his head was at as far as what we are and he couldn't give me a straight answer, and said he doesn't know what we are and just wants to go with the flow and see what happens, and doesn't want to lead me on. he did admit to liking me, and I told him I liked him. he said he doesn't really want to be in a relationship because of his past experience and wants to take it easy, and explained his previous experiences, I listened. at the end of the night, he gave me a looooong kiss on the cheek goodbye/goodnight and I turned my head to kiss his lips, but it was only half as long.

i'm so confused because I have to figure out what I want, and half of the time I know he is truly interested in me (holding me as I sleep, kissing me on the forehead, REALLY listening to what I say and getting along so well, wanting to do other things outside of sex that pertains to our mutual interests), and then the other half of me knows that we are good in bed, and he touches me accordingly that shows he wants me sexually. I don't know what to think. if we like each other, get along well and can hang out without having hooking up (NOT SEX). I want to show him I'm different than those other girls, I'm not crazy and clingy and stuff, but I do like him. I want this to be more than (what I'm guessing) friends with benefits :/

help?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is classic. If the guy doesn't want a relationship, then that is that. I'm sure he does like you, but he also likes that you'll give him what he wants w/o the committment. Stop being so friendly physically, and I bet he stops being so friendly all the way around. Of course he's going to be nice to you, he wants to keep you around, this situation is perfect for his needs at the moment. If he liked you enough to want to committ to you, he would let you know that. Guys are pretty good at saying exactly what they mean, girls are the ones who flip that shyte around in the brain until it turns into what the girl wanted to hear. She'll turn it into something that is a little bit of hope that he will eventually 'come around', because the girl thinks she is the one that is special enough to get him to settle down. If you keep allowing this to happen, he'll hang out with you until he meets the girl he wants to date, and then you'll be left in the dust. How do you keep this from happening? Quit hanging out with him. Let him know that you respect yourself enough to NOT spend time/be intimate with someone who does not respect you enough to give you what you need, a committment. If you tell him that and then actually cut him off and quit spending time. You MIGHT get him thinking he may want something more with you. If it doesn't happen this way, the chances of it ever happening are quite slim. Focus on someone else.

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What Girls & Guys Said

15
  • Don't let it be friends with benefits if that is not what you want. You have the power!

    It seems like for now go with the flow, but sooner or later you are going to have to lay down the line on what you want.

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    • how do I not let it be fwb? what do I need to say?

    • You don't let the sex happen. You just don't. At some point you just have to tell him that you don't want that and can't do that.

  • This is romantic as f***. Aww.

    Well, if you already had a talk about it with him, all you can really do now is be patient and hope he'll want a relationship eventually. Maybe cut the sex down a bit tho.

    I don't believe in 'luck' but, good luck.

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  • He told you he isn't relationship material. I'd take him at his word.

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  • "Go with the flow" = "I just want to bang". That one is pretty simple. If you want a boyfriend kind of guy, this one ain't it.

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  • he's already made up his mind, just because he is physically interested and does physically affectionate things does NOT mean he likes you if he said he doesn't want a relationship he won't change his mind and it is better to not expect more and stop hooking up with him so you don't get yourself hurt even more.

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    • then why would he say he liked me back but didn't want to lead me on?

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    • in which case do I just stop talking to him? do I tell him what my intentions are?

    • you should be mature and tell him that you want different things and you do not want to hook up anymore because of that reason. you may be better off distancing yourself after that.

  • Just leave, it is the best thing that you can do. You guys are on 2 different pages, and you shouldn't resort to f***ing him just to be somewhat in his life. Just walk away. If he cares about you, that might be a wake up call to him. But, don't settle for a FWB thing, people always regret it.

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