Questions

I think the answer is a very clear "no" but I have a bias. I am aware of two women who cheated on me, but I have never cheated on anyone. I know how much those experiences hurt me and I can't fathom how someone can love me but, at the same time, inflict such immense pain. The first time it happened, she confessed to me and told me that she loved me. The second time, there was no confession and I only learned about it later, when we were in the process of a divorce. But at the time she was cheating, she was still claiming to love me.

My best guess is that what those women called "love" was not the same thing that I call love. Both of them were somewhat self-centered and I have guessed that their version of love was based upon loving the way that I treated them but not really loving me. I will never know that those two women felt, so I am asking this question in general.

Can someone cheat on their partner while also loving their partner? If so, is it the same love that non-cheaters feel in a relationship. When you answer, you can answer anonymously, but please do indicate whether you have ever cheated or been the victim of cheating, or both.