What do you think about male chastity?

[Anonymous]

I have always been into the idea of someone having control of my sexual desires. I have no idea how to propose this to my girlfriend. I have had a chastity device, I have worn it and it’s perfectly comfy. Do I ware it until she makes a move on me, then tell her hey here are the keys. What would you think? What would you do?

[NamerOfStars]

You pause and think. In your mind, make a list of fetishes- not yours, specifically, but all the ones you can think of. Then write them down. Put them in increasing order of weirdness. I don't think you'll be too surprised to hear that other people would put chastity higher on their version of that list than you would- if they thought of it at all; getting off on not getting off is kind of a strange idea, after all. Does that mean your girl won't go for it? Not necessarily. Just that you have to introduce it carefully, or you'll freak her the hell out.

If there's something you're really into, and you've been fantasizing about it routinely for months or even years, it's probably second nature to you- but for a person who's never heard of it before, the idea may take some getting used to. If it's "I want you to dress up as a cheerleader", that's probably going to be an easier sell than "I want you to lock up my genitals and hold the key, preventing me from using them except with your permission".

So what should you do? Well, when you're talking about sexual stuff you'd like to try, ask if she's heard of it and see how she responds. Try to have a neutral-sounding description ready, in case she hasn't. This is especially important in this case; I answered another question about this topic a few days ago, and decided to take a peek at what the internet had to say on the subject, and boy howdy, are there some weirdos out there. Ordinarily, I'd say "have her do some research on the topic", and that's not a bad idea here, but there are people out there who are CRAZILY into this. If you're looking to be her "slave", rather than her "beloved boyfriend with whom she plays some kinky sex games", I'd suggest heading over to a BDSM-type site; they could advise you far better than I could. But if it's the latter, I think the best way might be to suggest the idea, and if she seems confused, explain- you like feeling under her control.

Logically speaking, sexual submissiveness in guys isn't really different from how it is in girls; you like playing with power dynamics in the bedroom. Heck, I have some (far milder) leanings that way myself. But this takes it out of the bedroom, at least somewhat, and I could see how it could easily slip into- or easily be confused for- something much more serious. Suggest the idea, explain it if need be, and then give her time to think about it. Lots of people tend to want to rush into something that's long been a turn-on they've never had a chance to try, and don't give their partners time to get used to the idea. Don't do that. And don't spring it on her; suggest the idea first and see what she says. If she's hesitant, don't push- just say something like "well, give it some thought", and let the matter drop. Try to refrain from bringing it up again, especially if she's against the idea; best to let her make her own way.

It seems to me that there's a huge range of activity one could do with a chastity belt, from "occasional playtime" to "full 24/7 lifetime commitment". If she does go for it (or balks at first, but comes around later), start slow and, if desired, build from there. And since I have to go again into my obligatory Adult Lecture Mode: Neurochemistry is not a toy. Tweaking your testosterone levels with something overpowering and long-term could push you in directions you don't want to go, and aren't even aware of. Have safewords- for BOTH of you. And discuss what your limits and tolerances are BEFOREHAND- "you have to do what I say, because I control when you get to have sex" is presumably part of the fun, but don't let it get to the point of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Bring up the subject and see how she reacts to it

[Opinion Owner]

But I agree it is fun being locked up and having a girl have that much control over you