How long does it take for certain stages in a relationship?

Question

How many months/years for each stage? Just curious. Let’s assume it’s a long term relationship what would you expect for these (not in specific order) and how long did it take you if you have?

1) saying I love you for the first time
2) introducing them to family
3) moving in together
4) getting really comfortable with them. Eg asking them to buy something from the grocery store that’s personal such as feminine products or something similar
5) proposing

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

Following a time frame will only stress you out. Rather than assume things should happen at a certain time, just be observant. Have a clear understanding of what it takes to move to the next level, along with what obstacles are in the way of doing so. Ask yourself what you are doing to move things forward or holding things back. Look at all the first time mothers who are constantly being stressed when they compare their kid's development to all the charts they see.

I've been asked to consult with various organizations... one of them being Boy Scouts of America. One day, I got a call from a scout master. He said "the troop is falling apart. The kids are running around out of control, and they're dropping like flies. I'm ready to quit myself." I asked when his next activity was. He said they had a backpack scheduled for that weekend. I told him I'd go on the hike. I met the troop at the trail head and asked the senior patrol leader what was the plan for the day. He said they were going to hike from point A to point B. It was a simple hike, with equal amounts of ups and downs. I agreed to go along with them. The kids put on their packs and headed off down the trail at a brisk pace, jabbering away the whole time. As time progressed, I noticed the jabbering changed into "Aren't we there yet?" "When are we going to get there?" By the time they arrived at the campsite, the kids were exhausted. They just fell back on their packs without first removing them. They didn't bother to set up their tents. They ate their dehydrated food straight from the packages rather than preparing it properly. They then went to sleep. In the morning, I saw the senior patrol leader putting his pack back on. I went up to him and asked the plan for the day. He told me they were hiking from point B to point A, the same trail with equal ups and downs. I said I didn't care to do that, so I'd take a hike, letting him know if they wanted to join me, they could. I put on my pack and set off on the trail, at a much more leisurely pace. While hiking, I pointed out different things (plants, clouds, animal tracks and animals, etc.). After a while, the kids started saying very softly "Look at this.." When we got to point A, the kids all said, "How'd we get here so fast?"

Compare the two days. On the first day, all they wanted to do was to get to the end. On the second day, they discovered how to savor the journey. It's common for girls to start preparing for their wedding when they are in kindergarten. By the time their wedding arrives, nothing could ever match the fantasy they created and nurtured in their head, so they end up disappointed. Not only that, look at our early indoctrination. All our early stories ended the same... "They got married and lived happily every after." This equates marriage and happiness. By getting married, they'll automatically be happy. Do any of these stories address what happens the day after the wedding? People tend to be in so much rush to get to the end, they don't bother to enjoy the journey or consider what happens after the goal is achieved. Don't be in such a rush. Enjoy each stage, for it won't be yours to enjoy again.

exitseven · Accepted Answer

All relationships are different. But with my wife it was like this.
1) I said I love you after about 5 or 6 weeks
2) I met her family the first time we went out. I actually knew her grandparents all my life and she had known my aunt and uncle for a long time.
3) We did not move in together until we got married which was 19 months after we met
4) I guess we were comfortable with all that stuff when we got married
5) I never really formally proposed. After a few weeks we both knew how it was going to end up

KatieB713 · Accepted Answer

In my current relationship-
1) saying I love you for the first time:
Was said our first date, same day as my boyfriend wanted to ask if I I'd be his official girlfriend.

2) introducing them to family:
About 2 months in I met his parents and he mean my sister, although I didn't introduce him to my parents for 6 months

3) moving in together:
We have on and off lived together for short periods, however don't a lot of long distance as well. Long term living together hasn't happened and won't till his current contact ends this summer

4) getting really comfortable with them. Eg asking them to buy something from the grocery store that’s personal such as feminine products or something similar:
Maybe a few months into dating?

5) proposing:
We have discussed it in detail often, just hasn't happened yet

Prettygurl12 · Accepted Answer

1) My husband and I told each other we loved each other before we started dating 😂

2) Our families knew each other for 10 years before we started dating but I "introduced" him as my boyfriend the day after we made it official.

3) We did not move in together until we were married. So...7 years after we started dating.

4) I only stated asking him to buy me personal lady items after we got engaged - so 5 years in.

5) He proposed after about 5 years. We started dating on 10/1/2011 and he proposed 8/1/2016.

VinnyMac · Answer

I use to think there was some sort of certain stages, but then at other times it seems as their is no reference of time. Some relationships move slowly and others more quickly. I think it depends on the couple. Sometime each individual has opinions that they have about it and may feel differently or the same.

My first relationships moved slower and my current one was much quicker everything kind of just blended together one thing after another and now we have been together for over 8 years and have a 4 year old son together. At times if you begin as friends the progession may evolve differently and at others if you haven't known each other long then that's going to go differently too.

The only one who sets the stage for certain stages is the choices that a couple makes together. There's probably many thoughts on this topic, statistics, but none of them really holds the real timelines

ScottStevens · Answer

What a delightful question to ask! Sincere and important and no nastiness about it in any way! Here's my take from a older person point of view:
1. When you both are wanting and willing to enjoy deep passionate kisses and let's just say wandering hands you are ready to express your emotions also.
2. After you have decided you want to be a committed couple in your relationship. I think it is best your include your family at that point.
3. That will naturally happen between 9 - 12 months of deciding to be a committed couple.
4. About the same time you move in together!
5. Be patient with this one. Those first few months are so full of passion and excitement you want it to last forever. Truth be known you need to get way past that time before you discuss lifetime commitments to each other. Grow together, live together for at least two years, but always feel free to discuss that is what you are hoping will develop.

GlassTop · Answer

There is no set timeframe. You set your own. If the person you are dating doesn’t meet those expectations within a certain timeframe, you leave them and try again. If you are looking for marriage, you should probably not give them more than one year. And #3 should not happen until you are married. This is where women fail miserably when trying to find marriage. If you are already having sex AND you move in, there is no reason for the guy to want to marry. This is why you have people not getting married after 5+ years of relationship. You are already basically married. He won’t want to marry you when there is no benefit to him signing a contract for you to take half his stuff after a divorce.

Anonymous · Answer

Getting comfortable rather quickly, within the first 2-4 dates, else it is not for me. I don't tell like all of my shameful secrets in the first period, but dig into some and to not be so superficial is important for me in order to connect. Doing everyday stuff and helping each other out I also like to happen sooner rather than later.
Loving someone for me takes at least half a year, maybe a bit less if one is spending a lot of time together.
Meeting family can be after 3-4 months, and before dating exclusively for half a year
Moving together would ideally happen 1-2 years into the relationship.
Marriage don't mean so much to me, I am not religious at all, but I would need to live a couple of years together before kinda saying for the rest of our lives.

IveGotNoName · Answer

1) saying I love you for the first time
Took us 1,5 years
2) introducing them to family
Took him a little over half a year, took me a little over a year (my parents are catholic)

3 ) moving in together
We are planning on doing so in 1-2 years (we've been together for 3 as of now)

4) getting really comfortable with them. Eg asking them to buy something from the grocery store that’s personal such as feminine products or something similar
We do that and started about 1.5 years in when I moved out

5) proposing
Maybe in 5 years? (so 8 years into the relationship for us, but we're young) We've talked a little about it

DaveJord · Answer

It really depends on two individuals invovled some relationship move faster than others... it all depends on the timing needs and wants of the two people involved.

You can not really set limitations or expectations on a relationship, when the time feels right it probably is.

htmndg183 · Answer

1: at least 6 months in which we have spent a significant amount of time together, had fights/arguments and seen each other at lows and been there for them.
2: a year probs
3: marriage
4: around marriage
5: in my culture its not really proposing. Introducing to each other's family is kind of that because then both families get to know each other and then they set the marriage dates for the couple.

boggboss · Answer

6 months when i first said it
3 to 4 months I think
Not yet living together as we are saving ti get a place
Buy products think a year in but only because I had no idea what to buy
Not done that as of yet but bought a ring

Interstate · Answer

#1. A year; 2. About two-three months; 3. AFTER you get engaged; 4. Anytime; Three or four years.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

1. Whenever feels right 2. Whenever feels right 3. Whenever feels right 4. Whenever it happens 5. Whenever feels right

Anonymous · Answer

Every relationship is different and progresses differently. You can't put or "expect" a specific time table.

alwaysmile_22 · Answer

It depends from person to person and from how deep they love each other and how much they trust each other.

Anonymous · Answer

i already did 1,2, willing to do 4, and did 5 with no answer just never did 3 with my significant other

Citizenkirk · Answer

Depends on situation and tradition

Abdulwahh · Answer

They say after 4 months a crush becomes love

Yuuibtony · Answer

A hour anything longer then that isn't worth it

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