There are like a gazillion things that made my wife so different from my exes. I could write a book about it and still end up wanting to write a second volume. Some major things though that I think might help people to understand her character:
1) She's almost impossible to offend/anger. She's incredibly thick-skinned and tends to laugh and smile all the time. I've only seen her cry 3-4 times in almost 15 years of being together and 12 years of marriage.
2) She never seeks to escalate conflicts. She's always seeking to deescalate. We've never fought a single time as a result, since we both seek to deescalate.
3) As mature as she is, she's still down for fun and good times. She loves to read (she's a literature major), travel, go on adventures. She's extremely fun and humorous and has a sort of inner child, but she's so mature in all the places where it counts most to form healthy relationships with people.
Also, for a little story that might help people understand her character:
I work remotely for a software company in the US with developers scattered across the world. Before COVID, we always wanted to meet face to face as often as possible so we'd go on overseas business trips to the US 4+ times a year for 1-2 weeks each time.
The first time I went on such a trip while dating her, she insisted on meeting me at the airport when I returned to Japan even though I insisted she doesn't have to do so. That's about a 2-hour train trip for her to Narita airport, and she'd even wake up at 4 AM in the morning to head there when I arrived very early in the morning.
So I'd arrive after the long flight back to Japan and always with my wife waiting there smiling and greeting me and running to hug me at the airport. No ex ever did that even once for me. On top of that, in spite of taking these trips 4+ times a year for over 10 years of being with her, she never missed a single time. She'd even cancel her plans with friends to meet me at the airport every single time.
One reason I suspect she's so unusual and different from all my exes is that she grew up the youngest daughter in a family of elder brothers. She actually loves to banter and joke like guys as a result and is extremely difficult to truly offend. Yet she also knows how to look great in a dress.
She's one of those people who's like a social superstar and so popular, but not at all superficial or cliquey. She's like that girl in high school that everyone likes from every single clique even though she doesn't belong to any clique. Everyone she meets tends to want to become her friend since she's so easy to get along with and not at all judgmental.
The way I described her might sound like a tomboy but her interests are still very stereotypically feminine. She loves Disney films and musicals, for example, and she borders a little bit towards a hopeless romantic. She's just an incredibly tough woman with a very resilient mind. It's like being married to a Zen Buddhist monk who's always cheerful and always sees the positive in everything.
She is the one in the center of my cover pic next to me with the funny hat with bunny ears. She's always smiling really big like that and not just in that photo.
Cheers! Our wedding pic (with her permission): As for when I knew we made such a great match, I think I sort of knew from very early on when we were just friends. We kept sort of ditching our friends at parties to talk to each other at the edge of the party, and the way she spoke was so different in general. It kind of seemed inevitable from early on that we'd start dating, live together, get married, grow old together.
Actually, I was so confused when we started dating because I thought something was wrong with how we weren't arguing or fighting about anything. I always at least got into some heated arguments with all my exes before her, so I thought this is so strange. What's going on? I must be in the Twilight Zone! You know, like that. But it was more like I was confused by how well we were getting along. :-D
Probably the first 20 minutes of being around her he sounds crazy but it's true
So many people fall in love the moment did they look at somebody
And there's a beautiful feeling Within did you get and so many people get caught up in this feeling it goes over their head
They just keep looking at the person and they have this really really just think it's love Now take it take your time out and walk out of their body and watch everything from a distance you will see and feel what's really happening that is you are feeling a person's energy when two Energies become and they're compatible it is the most beautiful feeling you'll ever feel in your life the people don't understand that's a Feeling it comes from within its energy
Until the first day you have sex and then one minute before you both going to come that's where the two energies really touch you can read each other's minds just about and all the sudden you feel that other energy and both of you start fucking so good actually getting into it and making each other feel just beautiful but in that moment in time that's when people say oh my God I'm in love because they mistake that feeling of two energy is becoming one it feels so good they mistake that for love in the moment somebody does that it's just a matter of time before everything just goes away because it's not love it's two energies becoming one when you understand what energy is all about you know exactly if that person is right for you or not you could take 5 minutes to take 15 days actually you know it within the first hour to a day And the same thing goes when things are right and you know they're not right but they feel so good can you tell yourself that's not going to work out but that passion that feeling of love it's false is pseudo but you never been there before so you've never experienced it before and that's what most people think that they fall in love but it's not that at all Next time you make love with somebody that you like one minute before you both like to come pay attention of everything that's going on Watch What Happens feel the feeling that you feel embrace it tell me if its energy or if it's love the mind is a very special thing and they can talk you into anything and can talk to you you out of everything but love is love
there's the ones where you feel a sudden burst of attraction to, you're infatuated for no reason. That happens and its rare. But for me those have not seemed to ever work out. They make for really passionnate relationships, but not obviously great, long term happy ones.
I think for me, it takes time. I need to see her in a range of different situations before I can be sure. And I'll know because it will be a steady, consistent emotion. Not a sudden gunshot eruption of feeling that fades and reignites. Just a consistent, constant good, happy feeling.
fast answer, when you’re terrified of losing them out of your life.
Long answer: I had a bipolar relationship where the highs were high and the lows so low. The emotion and passion was crazy. Decided it was toxic and left.
Found myself in a relationship that just worked, it was easy and made sense. I questioned the ease of it, and lack of emotional ups and downs, as if that’s what it should have been…. I found myself on a trip and cheated.
After cheating I freaked out and was terrified about losing the girl I had doubts with. It was wrong to cheat, but made me recognize and got my mind straight.
We’re married now and I’ve never thought again of risking what I have. I’m blessed and happy.
The mind is complicated, baggage is real, there’s a lot of paths to take to figure out who’s for you.
I don't believe in the 'one'. So my awnser is.. You don't know. The stronger feelings usually don't last. But you'll know when you find enough parts fitting together and when you know the willingness to improve together is there. You know when you can trust that you've found a teamplayer that will fight for the future. When you've found a builder in both your SO and your self. When you've found someone that see the value in trusting eachother. Someone that can make life better just by talking to you. When you can both have an argument and get something out of it, when you can move forward despite disagreements.
There was only one woman I've really clicked with. I've fallen for her harder in a few hours than I have for my past partners over the course of several years. Made me feel quite stupid for calling my past feelings for others "love", when a lady I haven't even been on a date with made me so much more happy.
It greatly depends on what he's looking for. It's not a one-size-fits-all deal. My uncle married a second time and NOBODY liked her!! She WASN'T pretty, she was crude, crass, loud, bossy, pushy, swore like a truck driver, smoked a LOT, had a scrappy voice you could file wood with and drank like a fish!! What he saw in her, I don't know! She was also a bit dumpy and was 2 feet shorter than him! Especially after his previous wife was practically the super model type!
We can only guess. They had 2 more kids together (he had 7 with his first wife) but, we rarely ever saw him after the second marriage. He lived just as far away after the first one but we still saw him a few times a year.
You know attraction fades away due to a lot of reasons like hormones age etc. Even our personality and viewpoints will change with time. I think most of the divorces are due to this. Simple words like the wedding vow if taken to heart then a couple should ideally be inseparable. For me the woman capable of standing firm on their words is important.
Most hard/easy question ever, haha :D Basically for me is the way we "fit" together, how we think about same stuff I guess it's all about synergy between us two. It's obvious that I didn't find my ONE yet, but hope dies last. xD
By feeling like it. But then again your feeling can always be wrong and she friendzones you and says she doesn't like you in that way... So I'd say it's a combination of feeling like "she's the one" and also her feeling the same way back
Wow… are you related to Sarai❓ 99 years young for sure. Bible “joke”. Abraham and Sarai had babies at 95-105 age. From what I can tell…you could as well 🙃
guys who get married or settle end up regretting it when she cheats, initiates divorce or pulls sex out of the relationship completely or pulls him away from his friends and his family, stop him from doing all the things he loves.
and this isn’t just one person this is the majority of marriages
For short-term relationship: nice butt, nice breasts, nice legs. For long-term relationship: that has a lot of facial beauty, is a virgin and is submissive.
You don’t. You just throw caution to the wind and hope it works out. There exists a lot of “Ones”. Just pick one to ride out life with if that is your thing.
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