My bestie stole my man and rubbed it in my face. Why would she rub it in my face when she saw I was upset about it?

[Anonymous]

My best friend "stole" my man (my boyfriend of 4 years.) She pretended to be my confidante about my relationship while sleeping with him behind my back and actively trying to sabotage my relationships with him and then they began dating.

Once she succeeded in turning him against me and they began dating, she rubbed it in my face by showing me their texts and sending me a long email detailing about their sex life. Why would she rub it in my face when she already knew how distraught and devastated I was about it? I was already so upset and she wanted to rub it in my face some more. Why would she actively try to do that and make me more upset?

Updates

+1 y

She also said in her email that she's gonna "make him her bitch" and that she's gonna control him and wear the pants in their relationship, and that he never loved me like he will love her. Why is she trying to hard to hurt me?

[Anonymous]

Because she’s a psychopath. For sure. Either a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist. They feed of off the misery of others. They love it and they see it as a game. They can legit do shit like this just for fun or because they’re bored and want to see how you react. The best thing you can do when dealing with people like this and their bullshit is to give no reaction at all. Just block and move on. Don’t ask questions, don’t tell her how you feel. Give her nothing. She won’t provide the answers you want or need, she’ll just be more satisfied seeing your reaction or how upset you are.

[Asker]

Yeah for sure. Thanks. I definitely think she enjoys hurting me, she told me she struggles with insecurity and compares herself to me but I didn't think she would go this far to hurt me. The whole situation is/was truly humiliating and devastating but I've blocked them both, and anyone else who falls for her excuses and lies that I'm the bad guy in this is also gone from my life. You are right, she had a duping delight when I was crying and upset.

[Asker]

She's a horrible person and he's a cheating scumbag

[Anonymous]

Please tell me you are not friends anymore more. If you are, then why in gods name would you keep her as a friend? A best friend at that.

[Asker]

No absolutely not. I cut them both off. She WAS my best friend, and the whole situation made me feel sick to my stomach not going to lie.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh thank goodness😭 the way you worded this it seemed like you were still friends and I was in absolute shock lol. But anyway, that woman is lost and lonely. I had a best friend like her and she had zero regard for her friendships, if she liked a man she would secretly move in on him and ruin that relationship. I’ve lost a two close friends on her behalf because she’d take their bfs, and I’d feel absolutely horrible about it. But she’s like your ex friend, craving companionship and love. She saw what you and your ex had and wanted that so much for herself at any cost. Hurting you in the process and rubbing it in your face was her trying to make you her enemy because she couldn’t stand the guilt. If hate her then she she can feel hate towards you for ending the friendship, and hope that you’ll be too repulsed by him to take him back. A very vile, and sad woman. That situation will not last for any time, and he will not treat her well, this I know from watching my friend gradually be treated worse and worse by the guys she stole. She won’t win by hurting other people.

[Asker]

Exactly. Thanks for your words. And even worse- 3 months later I began going on dates with another guy who had always liked me and had been there for me through the whole situation. My ex bestie tried to steal him as well after finding out we were dating, while dating my ex boyfriend. She told me in a text "I'll steal your man again haha." I definitely think your analysis of her is right. She doesn't value her friendships and loves male attention so much she betrays people to get it. She also likes to get the one-up on other women. It's sad.

[Opinion Owner]

Gosh I should’ve spell checked what I last said, hopefully for the most part it made sense. As for your friend, it’s just so pitiful to be that sort of person. It sounds like she’s just pointedly focused on trying to hurt you, and it’s likely out of envy and self hatred. If I were you, I’d block her on everything and be extremely private about the people I date going forward. I think it would drive her crazy not having access to you, then she’d really have to face herself rather than having someone to direct that pain towards. You ex boyfriend will grow tired of her as well and honestly they deserve each other. Just stay focused on healing from that, and focusing more on your own personal growth, achieving goals and becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. Living a happy life while she suffers internally is your own personal victory.

[Asker]

No worries thank you for taking the time to write an answer!! And it was coherent don't worry. I've now blocked her on everything and she's making it out like I'm overreacting and a bad friend lol. Especially to him. But fuck them both (excuse my language.) Exactly girl, I'm learning my own lessons from this pain and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!! x

[Opinion Owner]

The fact that she has the audacity to gaslight you is absolutely ridiculous! You’re handling this all very well though and I hope you are proud of yourself for not letting her shitty behavior get the best of you. Only good things are going to come from this I know it☺️🙏

[Asker]

Thank you beauty! xx

[Gremlinimo]

Sounds like she wants to knock you down even further. That way she can be better than you, cos clearly she doesn't feel better than you right now. Remember, you have all the memories, she can't take those away, and she can't make your ex forget them either. She probably feels jealous of that and is lashing out in a stoopidly pathetic and irrational way.

Sorry that happened to you

[FilmGuy93]

You're seriously asking why someone who would actively destroy their friend's relationship would continue to be an asshole about it after they "won?"

Because she's an asshole. She's not your friend. She's a bitch.

[FilmGuy93]

@asker I’m reading some of your other comments, and I think you’ll be happy to know that even if she thinks she won, people like that are never happy. She’s actively destroying herself.

[Asker]

Thanks @filmguy93 !! Yeah it's definitely her issues with herself.

[Vesuvius87]

I'm surprised you still call the cheater your man and everyone is only blaming her. What about him? He could've said no any time. It takes two people to make it happen.

She didn't steal anyone. Both her and your so called ''man'' are garbage that deserve each other.

[Vesuvius87]

Tell me you've blocked them and gone NC with those two.

[Asker]

Yeah I agree they're both to blame. He's my EX man and she's my EX friend. But she made up lies and rumours about me and told them to him as my "best friend" and "confidante." I feel betrayed by them both. them both.. Her for targeting me and him for believing her lies and cheating on me with my bestie

[Asker]

They're both blocked now after her rubbing it in my face.

[Vesuvius87]

Glad to hear both of them are out of your life. You're find better friends and a better man soon.

[Asker]

Thanks girl!! x

[EmmaMary]

Well some "Bestie" you've got there.

[Guy13]

She truly dislikes you and is evil.

[Guy13]

do you have other friends? did she tell everyone? did you cut ties with both?

[Asker]

She told everyone that "she can't help who she likes" and "she can't help that they fell in love" while secretly sending me these emails and rubbing it in my face. Very sneaky. I think it was to cover her reputation. And yes I've now cut ties with both of them. Good luck to them both.

[Guy13]

Wow, that's horrible. Sorry.

[Asker]

Thank you. Yes it was devastating. Taught me a lot though.

[Guy13]

Like what? Damn, I feel like I need to give you a hug...

[Asker]

Thank you so much :) It just taught me that I can get through the worst of betrayals. And to be more discerning with friends and boyfriends.

[Guy13]

Wow, you are a tough lady !! l

[abc3643]

Kill her.