Have you experienced it (Just wanted to share didn't know what to add as question)?

[Anonymous]

It's not a healthy relationship if they make you insecure or make you feel lonely.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Maybe if they really do things that are designed to make you feel insecure but I think if you feel lonely, then maybe you have to open up more in ways that work with that person. I don't know.

I just don't think a healthy relationship is only based on how you feel. It's based on what you do and what they do and what you do in response.

[Asker]

That's what I meant to say. It's not what one person things it's other person's actions. These days many people don't even care even if they have someone who's always there for them. People take others for granted a lot I don't know why

[Asker]

Thinks*

[ZXCwWRQWz]

I think that's just a young thing maybe. I wasn't much better when I was your age and my girlfriends back then weren't so good. We make things way harder than they need to be for some reason growing up and just trying to talk to each other and build some mutual understanding.

But to me, it's building. Like sometimes you got an unstable foundation together where nothing can be built. But I'm really allergic to this idea of soulmates because that makes people focus on finding something which probably doesn't exist beyond an infatuated addiction that wears off. Building is what makes things last. We don't find things that last, we build them.

[Asker]

I agree with you. And it happens when people want to understand and see what affects each other person in certain situation. There are always gonna be ups and downs in relationship what really matters is they remain together and work on things needed.

Anyways how's your relationship now? I hope you are with someone who loves you and you love that person too.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Cheers! I am happily married now with a wife. 11 years now and going strong. Not perfect of course but no fighting, no fake hugs and kisses and holding hands (we still genuinely wanna do it). We built something really great together.

[Asker]

I'm really happy for you! 😃 I hope the best for both you together!

[ZXCwWRQWz]

And I can tell her anything. I can even tell her when I think another girl in our social group is so attractive (she can also tell me when she finds guy so attractive). We both know we won't cheat on each other so we can say anything. I can even tell her she is getting chubby and she can tell me. I don't have to be careful at all with my words around her.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

High-five! But I was in relationships with many exes before her and I had immaturity problems at least. Like I would escalate it and feel personally attacked sometimes when exes confronted me. So while some of them were assholes, sometimes I was an asshole too. As much as my wife is so great, I needed lots of self-improvement to find her and build something with her. It isn't so much about my exes in hindsight; it was about me and how I needed to fix some things even to start finding the best people.

I think one of the best qualities you can find is someone you can really talk to and you don't have to worry about offending her when you go totally unfiltered. Then even though I am a very imperfect husband and even though she is an imperfect wife, we can talk and understand each other always. It is that mutual understanding that I think is the most important thing now. And it's hard to feel so lonely or insecure when you have a woman who supports you and sometimes even seems to know you even better than you do.

[Asker]

Exactly! You've said everything. So I won't say much! Are you home or around your wife? If yes, than give her a big hug cause its dare to find a partner like that.

[Asker]

Rare*

[ZXCwWRQWz]

I will queue up a hug! She is sleeping now. One thing is that she is an early bird while I am a night owl. It is 10:47 PM here in Japan (where I'm at now) and I don't even consider it late but she went to bed at like 9 PM. I tend to go to sleep at 2 AM or sometimes even later! :-D Can't be perfect but good enough for me.

[Asker]

Hahah yeah, that's early for me too. I sleep around midnight

[Wise4myage]

That's correct, and its not good for your self esteem.

[Asker]

Exactly! People don't see that both of their lifes will change completely if one fucks it up

[Debbie14217]

no sorry