Some latina women are cheating in their marriages too and westernization has spread in my country too... are you shocked?

[Vesuvius87]

It's happening in my country (Peru) too and divorces are increasing here too. More people are unhappy in relationships. Several men have a good opinion towards Latina women but looks like we're in for a rude awakening. This radical Westernization has spread here too. It's making less people want to commit. More people want to stay in the courtship, dating and infatuation period (free access to unlimited sex during cohabitation) forever and then break-up for anything, always have one foot out the door. Even my mother herself is telling me that marriage is obsolete nowadays even in here too.

One of my cousins (from my dad's side of the family) got her marriage proposal after 5 years and the fiance made her wait a year for the wedding. However, in less than a year, he suddenly breaks up and leaves. She's heartbroken, feels she's been purposely strung along and hasn't been in another relationship since. She's now 30 years old, single, childless and doesn't believe in love anymore.

Some men are abusers or cheaters too but some women are no better either. Are you surprised and shocked this is also happening in a Latin country?

[caring__1]

It used to be we were shown the value of respecting others. Now, we're shown the value of being self-centered and focusing on our own sense of entitlement... believing we deserve a bigger piece of the pie. When we gain positive feelings from adding to the life of another, a little goes a long way. When we focus on what we believe we're entitled to receive, we become insatiable, and nothing is ever enough.

Anything can be satisfying, if we focus on how it might add to the moment. When we savor the subtleties, we find endless opportunities and creativity. When we focus on extremes, all we can see is the next big experience, and nothing else has any value. People who feel entitled to extremes don't find enduring satisfaction, so they're always on the hunt for something better... believing the grass is always greener elsewhere.

We learn (and mold ourselves) to what is familiar around us. If the people around us are self-serving, we realize we also need to be self-serving, or nothing will remain for us. Our families and our politicians are increasingly promoting 'what's in my best interest?' rather than 'what's in the best interest of people as a whole?' Give people a hand rather than a handout, helping them to believe in their own ability to accomplish their realistic goals. Teach them to fish rather than hand them a fish, but don't be greedy and believe all fish are your personal possessions.

This has nothing to do with men or women or where a person lives. It has to do with broadening our perspective to consider the impact on the whole rather than go through life with limiting tunnel vision. By promoting stereotypes, we legitimize those stereotypes, giving people excuses to be irresponsible. It's easy to say all men or women cheat, or it's normal for women to get fat as they age, but aren't we just telling people this is acceptable behavior, so we don't have to monitor ourselves? We learn from all and everything around us. Be a caring role model rather than place blame or present assumptions as facts.

[Vesuvius87]

Indeed. More people have no respect towards others and disregard for commitment. It's a sad degenerative era we're all living in.

[caring__1]

Unfortunately, I have to agree with you, but don't assume everyone is like this. Connect with truly caring people rather than expect others to change for you. If we all consistently stopped reinforcing the self-centered behaviors, and chose to reinforce positive patterns, there would be no reason for the negativebehaviors to continue. It's too bad people overlook these selfish patterns, giving the selfish ones the belief the patterns work.

[Anonymous]

It's sad that the cancer that has infected the West is now metastasizing to places like your country. Marriage is not obsolete, but in the US it has been virtually destroyed, mostly by the behavior of women. Half of marriages here end in divorce, women file 80% of them and men typically get screwed in divorce and child custody settlements. And today's marriage doesn't offer men nearly as much as it used to, so for men marriage is much riskier and much less beneficial than in the past. Add to that the fact that casual sex is the norm, so the "carrot" has been removed from the equation, and it's easy to see why marriage has largely been destroyed.

There are some exceptions. I know a few couples who seem happy and well adjusted so they give the impression they will last, but they are a small minority. Those few examples give men a glimmer of hope that they may be able to have the same thing, but most end up disappointed in the end. Unless women change drastically, I don't believe the institution of marriage will exist for the next generation, which will have devetating consequences for western society.

[Vesuvius87]

I don't even want to think what the next 20 years brings. I know this is a silly analogy but it reminds me of the zombie Apocalypse movies, where the virus grows and spreads like a fire that burns through all the woods, contaminating what was once a beautiful zone with its normal people, turning it all into a dead zone. Then far away, the few remaining survivors (the last hope, the dying breeds) are hiding and hoping it will all be back to normal one day and the bad storm will pass.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO. And thanks for posting this question. It's heartening to know there are still women like you.

[kylee2437]

Cheating happens in most relationships more than it doesn’t.

[Vesuvius87]

yes but it's been spreading lately

[pethouse]

What? Why do you say that?

[Vesuvius87]

@pethouse
It seems more people aren't happy in relationships lately.

[pethouse]

Sorry I was talking to @kylee2437
I wanna know why she thinks that

[kylee2437]

@pethouse a genuine couple is way more rare than we think.

[ManOnFire]

Unfortunately I am not shocked at all. Very sorry for your cousin going through such a cruel discard from her fiance, and I can see how she wouldn't believe in love. I really don't think Peruvian women are much different from other women in terms of cheating, or at least the ones in the U. S. anyway. Maybe inside your country it's different, but in the U. S. many Latinas are no different than others about cheating. But I agree with you on all your points of westernization creating a culture of never wanting to commit and just wanting to live together with free benefits. It has gotten worse.

[Vesuvius87]

The women here are more feminine and maybe more conservative here but not all of them. There are a growing trend (small number but increasing suddenly) of men that cook, do household chores and have been complaining about certain women lacking feminine qualities, expecting too much and not even cooking either. It's sad that things have gotten progressive worse over the years. I don't even want to think what it's going to be like here in 10-20 years from now; more than likely it'll already be dating people from the USA with the only difference of them speaking Spanish but same anti-commitment mentality, same thing.

[Vesuvius87]

**it'll already be like

[ManOnFire]

Peruvian women are definitely more feminine. So are Colombianas and others further east in Latin America. I completely understand your concerns about where things are going. It will sound like a broken record, but many of these problems really are because of white-feminism and how much it has torn society apart and dictated social and gender dynamics in our world today.

I say white-feminism because it has been the dominant voice in the western world on gender issues/matters. White-feminism pretends to care about black, Latina, and other races of women but really doesn't, and especially not native women. White-feminism is about the preservation and advancement of white American women, and they themselves are often racist. Whenever the white-feminists march, complain, speak out, etc. everybody listens, but women of color have been telling their story for years and no one cares. It was actually a black woman who coined the term MeToo way back in the early 2000s, but once white women in Hollywood started using that on Twitter, that's when the world cared.

So much of white-feminism's influence is to blame for all these issues and how it has spread to your country as well.

[Vesuvius87]

This might be a silly analogy but it's similar to a zombie Apocalypse, where the cancer spreads to the point the few suvivors (untained, untouched by the disease) are hiding and slowly trying to bring peace back and living far away from the dead zone.

[ManOnFire]

I think that's a good way to look at it, yeah.

[Berethor]

I already know the many latin countries allow gay marriage, so I am not surprised by that.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_by_country_or_territory

[Unit1]

"Are you surprised and shocked this is also happening in a Latin country?"

Not at all. And this is not a "western trend" spreading across the lands Silly. Its happening globally. This is nothing new.

[Vesuvius87]

Yes indeed and there are also less marriages in Japan too. It's sad this cancer is growing and won't stop.

[JohnK123]

I kinda am because I always thought of latin countries as like traditional with many traditional rules about even dating. Like parents are more strict etc. but that’s weird the trend like that is increasing. Wyd

[Vesuvius87]

Yes it's a sad generation indeed. Even though the divorce and anti-commitment rates aren't as high as in the USA, it's been an increasing trend recently over the years. Things are getting worse as years pass by.

[JohnK123]

Man that sucks. Well I’ll be loyal if ya want a boyfriend or husband HAHAHHA

[slatyb]

The only thing that has changed is that women are now able to leave bad marriages.

[Vesuvius87]

Leaving an abusive marriage of ditching a cheater is one thing. That's completely justifiable. However, leaving a marriage just because you're bored, the infatuation period ended or you suddenly hate the person's natural flaws (everyone has flaws) seems like people that go into marriage without ever learning the concepts of commitment, tolerance and working things out like a team, growing old with them till the end. It's a marriage after all... it's not dating and having one foot out the door any time you're bored.

[slatyb]

Marriage is a legal state, nothing more nor less. People choose to get married and divorced for a variety of reasons, and fortunately aren't subject to your judgment.

[Vesuvius87]

Perhaps I'm the type that takes commitment seriously.

[slatyb]

That is your choice. We may be completely serious when we marry, but then for various reasons find that we cannot stay in the marriage.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

That's not "westernization" you fucking retard. That's human beings

[Vesuvius87]

Well I'm making an observation and relationships have gotten worse here too. No need to insult.

[MementoMori777]

no im not, i honestly thoight it was worldwide already 🙃

[Vesuvius87]

I've heard it's spreading in Japan too. It's like the equivalent of a zombie apocalypse with me and others as the few survivors, untainted by the virus causing people turned into those monsters.

[MementoMori777]

lmao i know it sucks, we have to take shelter and hide from the whoriness outside the walls 😂

[Anonymous]

Nothing a woman does really shocks me anymore. 😆

[rebeliouse]

people what their cake and eat it

[Vesuvius87]

Yeah it has nothing to do with ethnicity. Some people are just cheaters and others aren't. It's a character flaw.

[rebeliouse]

surly if someone is like this they should look for polygamy instead of monogamy

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. Things would be so simple.

[EaterPeter]

I jist love your user name

[EaterPeter]

Just * taken from mount vesuvius?

[Vesuvius87]

Thank you. Yes it's from Mount Vesuvius. I love that mountain name. I find it unique.

[EaterPeter]

I love it and find it unique too. Are you near Mount by chance

[Vesuvius87]

Nope but I wish I could visit that place one day

[EaterPeter]

All the best!