Do you find ways to appreciate people as they are, or do you focus on the potential they could or should be?

[caring__1]

[DaveJord]

I agree withe memes in general, but...

If the goal is to find someone special and to have a meaningful conversation emotionally fulfilling relationship... then all that BS goes out the door. Sure, at the start set boundaries and be who you are... but one the relationship evolves to a level then you should be willing to make changes and compromises with your partner and lifestyles, because you are who you are as a single person.

But at some point, if you do not want to be single forever, you have to be willing to make changes and compromises with your partner. This because we all would like to find that someone special that makes us feel like we are more than some our parts... if want to some more then you have to be more to someone else.

This is a two-way street.

[caring__1]

If we're not true to ourselves, what worth can we truly have for a partner? Do you honestly believe people would be happy with a puppet as a partner? Let's say your partner has a fantasy of you having sex with another guy or your dog, would you do it? People are not lumps of clay to be molded by others. Clearly share who you are and what you seek from the start. That way, we're more likely to find compatibility. If they don't like the real you, wouldn't you want them to find true happiness with someone who is truly on the same path as them (and not someone who will do it temporarily just to get them to invest)?

[DaveJord]

Look at the memes... "I am not in the world to live up to your expectations." This BS, once you are in a truly committed relationships there is expectations that you will do your part as a partner. That there will be a degree of mutual respect, love and compromise. So, its BS to think you have no responsible to live up to the expectations that come along with dating and loving someone.

Sucess, is the ability to live your life the way you want to live it, doing what you enjoy most... surround by the people admire and respect...

I call BS, again I hate working but I do it. I don't like all the people I work with and am surrounded by at work... but I do it. Why because I "EXPECT" to get paid at the end of the month that's why. I do it because my expectations are being met.

So it same thing in any relationships, we have individual needs and wants, and then we have the things we need and want and put expectations on what we bleive a sucessful relatonship should be. If that person lives up to those expectations, the you both expect to get rewarded some way for the work you are doing to promote a mutually benificual, emotionally, mentally and physcially rewarding relatonship.

So not in the context of dating I disagree completely with these memes, because it literally not how the process works. If you open your heart and mind to another person in the hopes of something greater, then you have to be willing to do the work and allow for change.

[Lliam]

I agree with the two memes.

I appreciate people as they are rather than thinking they should comply with my own ideals and standards. Sometimes I can learn from them instead of the other way around. I appreciate differences.

Besides, you can't change someone. Who are you to think you should?

Either deal with someone, accept the way they are and appreciate their good traits, or don't deal with them at all. But don't be a sanctimonious dick.

I don't have any friends that I like everything about. But we are still good friends. That's how friendship works. It's the same with my wife. We respect each other. And if there is a conflict, we work it out and respect each other's differences.

[caring__1]

You're part of the 1% of the population. I'm sure you notice most people do not accept and appreciate what is... constantly focusing what they believe could or should be. We're not going to be impressed with every aspect of every person, but that doesn't mean that just about every person has at least something of value to offer. I learn something from everyone I meet.

[Spongebobssocks]

I appreciate the way they are. But I only have 2 friends for a reason.

[MementoMori777]

I focus on the potential because some things are just not healthy for any form of connection with another person, if someone is toxic and you accept them for the way they are then at some point that toxicity will get in the way and the one losing will be you, both that other person

[MementoMori777]

Not the other person*

[caring__1]

No one's saying you need to stay with someone who is toxic, but living in a dream, where you expect others to change to meet what you believe is their potential, will only lead you to frustration and disappointment.

[Unit1]

I am getting told to do this or that (changing my appearance) to basically fit their image. The important thing here to remember is that i'll never be good enough for them anyway, so why bother. Might as well be wacky myself.

With that in mind I tend to appreciate wacky things more than conventional appearances. At the same time I am someone, that places everyone on the same level at first and things move from there based on the interactions.

Last but not least - treat kindly.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I do both at the same time, but in either situation, both of those pictures apply.

[TheSpaceGnome]

This is because I prefer "clicks", ie groups of people who already prefer constantly improving themselves like I do, and already share or benefit from my views, opinions, goals, etc.

[Nominal]

focus on the potential they could or should be. If it, How it affect society in the bad way?