Do you have a positive affective presence?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

• People you work with unite around you and even the ones who disliked each other, feel at ease with each other’s presence when you are around. You’ve got the team building effect everywhere you go.
  
  
• People tell you they feel like they’ve known you for a long time.
  
  
• One date or a meeting is enough for you to open someone up deeply and not make them feel judged.
  
  
• Are you often being told that your presence relaxes people?
  
  
• Do people trust you with their secrets even if you never asked?
  
  
• Do people often tell you you inspire them?

And if you do, do you think it’s a big responsibility and power of a kind?

If you had that skill, how would you use it?

If you have it, how do you use it?

[dynamicyandere]

I’ve heard all those things from people and I’ve seen that happen around me as well.


It’s definitely a power, the power of influence, and other people gravitating towards my leadership.


I do have a responsibility. Because whether I like it or not, my actions and decisions affect the others around me.


I don’t mind it though, because I want to be a force for positive change.


When I work in teams, I keep spirits high, I increase morale, I make sure to encourage others, whether they are superiors, peers, or people working under me.


When you are a person of influence, you affect the energy of the people around you — you affect the atmosphere.


Although, other people should not solely rely on you to motivate them, it never hurts to be be a source of inspiration and motivation to the people around you.


By being the best version of yourself, the version of yourself that uplifts everyone around you, you’re doing your part in changing the world for the better.

[dynamicyandere]

I am an introvert though. So there’s the irony. On more than one team, I was better at motivating the sales team than the sales manager was. It can feel draining at times, but I’m good at it. If there is a need for it, I’ve taken on the responsibility of increasing morale.

[NathanDavis]

some of these things, have been told or happened sometimes before, yes...

surprisingly, due to the fact that I was born very and extremely shy... these are things that developed through the years as I grew up, but later in life

because of sports and their dynamics, which is teamwork and both leading and following... and also because of teaching and their concepts, as I've been a tutor and a coach for a few years as well

and later in life, because of my actual work as a manager... and leading a business too

all of these things are essential to the few things I've done in my life and I could just not go without them... whether is business, sports or learning with others, trust is a must... and you definitely have to have within you as well, these abilities to connect and engage with people in a more genuine way

when you're genuine to them, they usually have it easier to reach to you as well

[AutumnSerenity]

Unfortunately, yes. People like to open up to me. I do a decent job of appearing like I’m extroverted when I need to, but I’m truly introverted so I find this exhausting.

[IslaTheWitch]

I, fortunately, don't :D too much attention for one witch

[Sonorous]

Rip to all the sub-5 out there who's appearance makes people more stressed 🤣💀

[Sonorous]

But I got about half of that stuff. Only when I put effort in though. Most times I really don't involve myself with people. I've been betrayed too much I suppose.

[AviatorTom]

Sometimes this happens, other times it doesn't, it depends on the situation.

[Wallythewalrus2]

Wow! It’s almost like you wrote this with me in mind. Yes, I definitely have a positive effect on people. I don’t want to sound conceited but to know me, really is to love me! There are people that I don’t like but most people want to be my friend. Even on here! I can’t even begin to tell you how many DMs I get from people on a daily basis, asking for my advice or just wanting to chat because I help them feel better, it really is amazing but I don’t mind. That’s what is so great about me, I take the time to help anyone, whether they’re fat and ugly or slim and gorgeous. I don’t discriminate. Sometimes I do feel overwhelmed but for the most part, I’m wonderful.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Never heard that term before. Most of those bullet points, sure. #2 and #3 I can't recall ever happening but I won't sweat to it that they haven't. I lead non-standard forces in irregular operations for many years. If you can't inspire people then you're not going to be very good at your job. If you get to be an old man in a game where men die young you've either done a lot right or a lot wrong. My scars say it's more the former. Somebody said something along the lines of "the measure of a leader isn't the opinion of his superiors but the opinion of his subordinates." I'm still in contact with a great many of mine and I have very little to offer them professionally anymore. I can't imagine they'd do that if I hadn't been a good leader.

[love_conquers_lust]

I have had a "please do something unethical so I feel better about my inadequate self" effect on people.

It depends on how it's used. Frankly, there are a lot of undeserving people who aren't even worthy of good will. Those same people have no compunction about accepting charity. They watch you break your back because they think you owe them something, that's slavery.

The way I've gotten around it is to learn by following the right people. Follow ethical people. The critics can either follow as well or get left behind.

I've watched people mimic my behavior . I've also watched others intentionally not follow and in fact rally people to not work. This is rooted in Marxist behavior.

In the same vein, I have seen people work so hard they end up burning out/breaking their bodies. America has a number of people like that. I am/was one of them.

[fuddly]

Great question and because I'm in AA for alcohol, we learn that it's a spiritual transformation that is required.

So that even if giving up the drink i still need a spiritual transformation. I see that now.

One quote i like is "fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us". I love that because i was always awkward around people and always thought that a large bank balance was all i needed. That financial success was the priority.

When in reality time is slipping away and i might not have time to ever enjoy the financial success that i have planned and am working towards.

Live in the moment... If we could all practice that.

[iFarted]

To some people yes, to others no.

At work I have a positive presence to my coworkers who are newer and those whom are no-nonsense workers. Not so much to those who are stubborn and who think "I've seen and done more than you ever will".

I'm also positive to my circle of friends. I'm pretty encouraging and supportive so long as it's not unrealistic.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

The only way for me to know if I’m using this power appropriately is if I’m afraid of it. I feel undeserving of it. I remind myself daily, am i using this power for myself or for the common good? Good leadership demands self reflection and humility.

[sawno]

Maybe not to the extreme you ask since I am in an environment where people generally get along. But everyone usually gets along with me and I have been commented on how nice my energy was a few times.

[sawno]

Ill comment on a few particulars that do happen:
Do people trust you with their secrets even if you never asked? Absolutely since they know I am capable of keeping a secret, am an open person myself and they know I will usually not think bad about them after the fact. They do expect me to be honest though, since I'm not going to lie.

Are you often being told that your presence relaxes people?
No, I don't have relaxing energy, I have enthusiastic energy. So rather than relaxing those around me I tend to get them excited and in long conversations.

One date or a meeting is enough for you to open someone up deeply and not make them feel judged.
Absolutely and I judge my interactions with this, if we didn't get onto a naturally flowing deep conversation I'm not interested. I know I can very easily do it, I expect her to be able to be open to doing it as well.

People tell you they feel like they’ve known you for a long time.
Lovers yes, the rest no.

Do people often tell you you inspire them?
I have inspired people, but its usually not said that often.

As for the how to use it part, I am just myself and I use it as motivation to stay true to myself. When you have a positive impact on those around you this naturally its only logical that you don't seek to alter your interactions or exploit it. You just are who you are.

[Levin]

Actually yes, yes I do to all those. People say my voice is relaxing, too. I can heal relationships because I'm almost entirely objective. I'm a counsellor, too.

[Joshydavid25]

I don't know if most people have that type of presence.. But I've been told I'm easy to talk to.. And people usually seem to tell me their life stories sometimes.. And I just sit, and listen.. Actively..

[RedInnocent68]

If I did, which I definitely might, would I admit it, or would that defeat the purpose?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You would not. But since you are here online, you might as well do. :)

[RedInnocent68]

I probably do. I’m more of an ass on here. 🤔😉😂

[Flatmanlewis]

I think my positive influence is very different than the ones you offer as examples but I have been told I am a positive person to be around. In the end, I just try my best and hope that’s true.

[AmeerX]

Only messiah would have qualities like these as you mentioned

[OnlyMeee]

I would like to think that I'm like that. Sadly the reality would say differently. What a good skill to have though

[Staximus]

It seems my positivity doesn't affect as many people as my negativity

[WhitneySnow]

In general yeah. People like to confide in me.

[SotiCoto]

Nah. I've had a few friends say I'm easy to trust because I'm 100% honest and don't just try to tell people what they want to hear... but that is about it.

[FenixG45]

I can bearly run my own life, nevermind lead a group of people.

[serious_miss419]

I work hard and use my experience to do my job.
My peers don’t like it. They are more playful and polite with each other other and they like to gossip. I work hard and keep to myself

[msc545]

You should rephrase this question like this:" Am I a narcissist"

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I would rephrase it but I never mentioned “I” in any of those upper statements and my question is inspired by an article I was reading about the role of affective presence.

So, would you explain me why’d you blame me for the untreatable personality disorder?

[lightbulb27]

Yes… i was ood at that

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah.

[KrakenAttackin]

Nope.