Is paying for only fans cheating?

[Anonymous]

I found out the other day my boyfriend of almost a year subscribed to someone on only fans and paid 30 dollars to see her content and even asked her for nudes and other disgusting pictures and how much it would cost. he declined because she was asking too much and I am extremely hurt, he lost his job back in December and things have already been challenging in the relationship financially. fortunately we do not live together or have any ties financially but it hurt me that he is willing to spend money on that and can't call me up or spend money on our relationship that has been struggling the last few months. some people classify it as cheating and others do not, I am conflicted. and I am fearful moving forward that I will always think "what is he doing, who is he talking to" if I decide to continue. the trust feels broken, and I feel betrayed and unworthy and not pretty enough, or sexy enough, or good enough that he has to resort to something like that to get off.

[Jersey2]

An idle mind in the devil’s workshop. He was bored and instead of going to a stripclub he went online. Guys watch porn but he paid $30 for some when he was out of a job… is that the real issue? Guys in previous generations would have went to a stripclub or bought a Penthouse or Playboy magazine.

So in your mind is online porn cheating or is it that he paid her? Anyway, we all do silly things but it doesn’t mean he likes you less or finds you less attractive. Arnold Swartzengger or whatever his name is banged his maid and Hugh Grant paid for oral when he had Elizabeth Hurley. Their wives and GFs were super hot but the maid and the hooker were not so its probably not about your looks.

Gove him a pass on this one and let him know it hurt b

[NathanDavis]

what matters here is that... you feel affected by it

so, tell him about it... and if that doesn't stop him

then... you do know what to do next, right?

[Asker]

yes! enlisting him in the service because if he isn't going to fight for our love, he can fight for our country... Right?
I am joking, Yes I can imagine what to do next...

[NathanDavis]

that a great song...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgXpQIO6SDk

[Asker]

I like your response, that I am affected by it. I know everyone has different views on cheating. and obviously that is not something we covered early in the relationship.

[NathanDavis]

exactly... whether or not, consider it cheating or a gray area, or "depends"

fact is, you feel hurt by it... so he should care for that and stop it, and if he doesn't care

well... you know

[Asker]

my fear moving forward is the trust, I will constantly be suspicious and snooping and he may get better at hiding it. the trust feels broken to me and I feel betrayed.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I think if something is past the friendly stage, and the people are taken then it's cheating.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Also has to be behind their partners back if the partner knows then it is what it is I guess

[billmunch]

For my 2 cents, paying for Only Fans and performing on Only Fans are both Kosher.

[jahaims]

It depends on the relationship boundaries

[Anonymous]

Yes it is cheating. Dump him

[Zestyassmf1997]

I think so, yeah.

[Worst]

I would say yes