What is up with people hating you for the very things that drew them to you in the first place?

[Radiate143]

Why does admiration turn to hate and envy?

Updates

+1 y

Note: gag eanted to put this question in "Girl's Behavior" which is VERY sexist.

[ohsheeT]

Well first of all you have to look at the person that's changing and look at the reasons why they might be doing it is it because they cannot manipulate you because they thought you were an easy target because you are smarter and wiser than they are I mean don't really take that to heart if somebody doesn't like you it's okay you like you you be the best you can possibly be and the people want to be your friends they can be your friends but it's your terms you have a goal in life and that is to become the best you can be and if people don't like that or they can find a new friend you just keep being you.

[Anonymous]

It’s like they think they can get something out of you… they like you for what you can do for them, until it’s time for them to return the favor and measure up, but they can’t… Then they hate you because its easier to do when it forces them to look inward, and they don’t want to because they hate themselves. They are in secret competition with you.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Jealousy. I've seen it happen a lot in the creative world.

Two rappers get together, one works harder, has better management, spends more money on their marketing, parties better, the other is lazy, hangs out with their bum friends, doesn't perfect their craft.

Jealousy builds, someone gets punched in the face or robbed.

Two filmmakers get together. One knows every setting on every camera, they studied composition and trained their body to get smooth footage no matter what. While the other watches Netflix all day, the other is color grading practice footage, matching different cameras, looking for new clients, perfecting their social media page. The other knows nothing of the wonders of artifical slow motion frame interpolation by method of optical flow (It's fun to say sue me)

Jealousy builds, somebody tries to ruin someone's reputation, they gatekeep opportunities, elbow the other out of work that could have helped both of them.

[Radiate143]

Envy. Yes.

[wiltingrosepetal]

There is a psychological concept I heard about a bit ago... that I forgot the name of... but basically there is a relationship paradox some people have, where the thing that makes someone likable at first becomes their most frustrating attribute. Example: "He's so laidback!" Becomes "He doesn't take anything seriously" or "She's intelligent!" Becomes "She makes me feel stupid".

What looks glamorous from a distance becomes frustrating with time. As humans, we are attracted to differences (which is why most of us are hetero), but similarities keep relationships strong. This can be said about friendships as well

[DishLady]

Some people are attracted to someone who has the traits they WANT. For example the out-of-shape and very in-shape friends. (OS and IS for this post.)
Scenario 1: Ultimately, OS might grow to resent IS who is AAAALWAYS advising OS on diet and exercise since IS thinks that’s why OS connected with IS in the first place.
Scenario 2: OS might also just generally hate that IS gets more attention or praise for being fit and personable, blah blah blah.

[Radiate143]

What does IS and OS mean?

[Radiate143]

Lol nvmnd

[Anonymous]

Sometimes we put up w a lot of things or look the other way for people we find attractive. As time goes on, things may turn out bad, then you realize all along this person was just garbage. You just put up w it cause they looked pretty or handsome.

[TommyMountainFigure]

People are sometimes drawn to the very thing they want to change.

Maybe they just like the challenge of trying to changing someone!

[Radiate143]

Why do ypu eant to change someone for the worse?

[TommyMountainFigure]

Me? I don't. I used the word 'they,' as in other people!

[Radiate143]

Why would someone want to change somone for the worst?

[TommyMountainFigure]

I agree with you. It is illogical. The only thing I can come up with is because they enjoy the challenge!

[JacobJordan]

For your update no it really isn't that is almost exclusively a woman thing. Guys don't care enough to do that with other guys so it is actually more a girls behavior than a mixed behavior. That being said many times people are drawn because of something they wish they had they then try and copy it but upon struggling and seeing you so good at it they get frustrated.

[Radiate143]

Guys don't care enough to do that with other guys

Very false. Guys do rhis especislly when their guy friend gets a girl that is really high calibre. If he gets a nee car, etc. I've seen it so often.

Men are some of the MOST envious creatures in the planet.

[JacobJordan]

I know you want that to be true but it isn't lol

[JacobJordan]

And by that I mean exceptions don't make the rule. You like most women look to exceptions to justify your reasoning. Generalizations exist for a reason. That reason is because more often than not things fall under the generalization. That does not mean all the time or everyone. A good example most women want children. Generalization that is true. Some women don't want children. An exception and while useful to try and defend one's stance it absolutely fails to do so because exceptions don't alter the factual nature of the generalization which is why your question applies almost exclusively to women. Doesn't apply to women. But far more than enough where exceptions don't change it and the tiny percentage of guys that it pertains to also doesn't change it

[Radiate143]

Don't gaslight me. I've seen it and lived it.

[bobalife]

I think that’s the root of what we called “envy”
Unfortunately experienced this a few times with old close friends or old co-workers… they do end up telling me, so that’s why I know this.

[dustybiker2]

It does seem this way sometimes, yes. Attention seekers not getting as much as they initially intended to seek.

[ManInChains]

Thought they liked it and learned that they actually hated it 🤷🏻‍♂️

[jshm2]

In other words, "why do ex's turn into killers and stalkers" you mean.

It's usually infatuation and a brutal desire to control.

[Radiate143]

No. If that was what I wanted to ask, I would have asked that.

[nawtee_me]

People want what they don’t have but when they are around it and refuse to change to get it they blame the ones who do have it.
“It is your fault you are better than me….) lol.

[Unit1]

who knows. people are morons.

[handsomelad70]

Too much of a good thing?

[WhiteBoyChill]

It sounds more like a “girl’s behavior” to me anyway so I don’t see the issue

[Radiate143]

Sexist

[Radiate143]

This hss been a problem with men for me. Girls may give bad looks but men will try to destroy you or your life