She wants marriage in the future but I want her to focus on now, what do you think?

[Anonymous]

Hello, so i met this woman she is 32 years old she id divorced and with a daughter , i'm 29, we are being together for 4 months now, everything is fine, but she always asks for assurnace for the future, she wants marriage and another kid, i have no problem with the way she see our relationship, i told her why would you overthink about a future that we can not control, we have feelings for eachother, we do have amazing times in bed, i want u and i won't leave u or betray u you, but marriage is something i can not see myself doing, we are breaking up due to this, what do you think guys and girls? i do not wanna give her fake promises and just keep enjoying the sex and making memories, can you please advice?

[HollyK21]

If you don’t see yourself getting married in the future then you’re making the right choice by breaking up. Big milestones like having babies and/or getting married shouldn’t be robbed from someone and essentially that’s the sacrifice you’d be wanting her to make in order to stay with you. It’s good that you’re being unselfish by not stringing her along and using her for your own needs. I do think your mindset is worth reconsidering though, not the breakup but just the whole “let’s focus on now”. Unless you’re with someone who mutually doesn’t want to get married then that’s the whole point of dating, to be with someone you wanna work towards that commitment with.

[Noredcarpet]

You two wants different things for your future, the quality you bring into it so if you do not want to continue to hurt each other then you must parr. She has a child to think of and to bring you in as a step dad or not, it is not only about her. You want something less than what she wants. You should not try to pursue her to accept less. You should find someone who wants what you want. It would be different if you saw, wanted the same as she does if everything was to continue, only for later, I asked to postpone things such as moving in, getting married, having kids if that would work out, for valid reasons that had nothing to do with love, or commitment and we had to set a time for everything and when that time would come I would, if still together that is. But that is not the case with you two, you do not want what she wants ever for your future.

[slatyb]

Honestly what do you want? It's fine that you aren't ready to marry, but when do you imagine you will be? That's all she's asking for -- a decision date. It could be in eight months, could be a year, but she's entitled to know when.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Hopefully, you and she can come to an agreement. If not, perhaps you'll have to end the relationship.

[Selene1600000]

She’s not wrong for wanting clarity, and you’re not wrong for being honest about not wanting marriage. The problem is that you both want different futures, and love alone usually can’t fix that long term. If you truly care about her, letting her go instead of giving false hope is probably the most respectful thing you can do.

[Abbycado]

You two have different goals and views. She’s not the one.

[Unycorn]

You are right.

[Asker]

thank you, this makes me feel better

[Unycorn]

Today is today and what comes in the future - nobody knows.

[Unycorn]

Today is the base of tomorrow

[Ariesman81]

Why did her marriage end?

[Anonymous]

U want casual. Just tell it

[Anonymous]

I think you have a point.