I want my own bedroom when I am married! How would you feel about this?

[RyeLee]

I have decided that when I am married, I would like to have my own bedroom, and maybe even my own spare room/office to do whatever I'd like with as well! I have been living with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. I love him, I love sleeping next to him in our bedroom, and we don't really have any issues, but I think having my own space would give me a sense of freedom and relaxation. I would like to be able to express my individuality instead of sharing a bedroom. Does anyone else feel this way?

Updates

+1 y

REVISION: Oh! I didn't mean that I would want to sleep separately. I just meant that I would like to have my beautiful feminine bedroom with everything I like as well as his cool masculine bedroom with everything he likes and then have the ability to choose which room we would sleep in each night.

[Anonymous]

yea I feel the same(so does my mom who's been married for 30 years) But I rarely hang out in my room so it's not a huge deal...and I like sharing a bed for the most part... I do have a weird sleeping schedule but I'm sure when I get older it would be more consistent and normal... I don't really move around a lot actually I find sharing a bed helps me sleep... but I am used to sleeping alone and so I feel like I prefer it but idk... oh also I am very particular about people touching my stuff, I would want another room just for my stuff for nobody to touch, but I can compromise I try not to be too stubborn and I try to be OK with change...

[RyeLee]

Yeah exactly! I want to sleep with him in either of our rooms regularly, but I want to be able to have a bedroom that is mine with all of my stuff how I want it, and decorated to my liking. It will always be tidy too! :)

[Opinion Owner]

well if you work hard you can afford that sort of thing, my mom does her crafts on the kitchen table and every day complains about not having her own space... everyone one wants space of their own,(my dad would love a workshop) but if you have kids and have to store stuff a small home can fill up quick... it's all about prioritizing, if it means a lot to you then you'll make it happen but you may find that more important things will take its place. My dad is from Italy and there married couples

[Opinion Owner]

share a room but have separate twin beds, we they feel like some lovin they push the two beds together. I think that's a smart set up.lol

[Opinion Owner]

when"

[RyeLee]

I am glad you see where I am coming from! That is true...

[Andie002]

Separate bedrooms are pretty common in households today. Different sleeping patterns, schedules, and routines while waking up and going back to bed again. Couples don't want to disturb the other one schedules. Especially if one or other are lite sleepers etc. My grandparents had separate bedrooms for thirty years. They loved each other to pieces. Both just preferred to have their own rooms. I've even heard of separate houses, only because her hubby liked to buy, fix up, and flip houses 7x's. Go ahead create your own separate space. Your man might have his separate spaces also. Such as a den, man cave, work shop etc.

[RositaV]

Are you talking about the wife's walk in closet and the husband's man cave? Usually the wife's personal space is her walk in closet with a window and a comfy chair where she ideally sits to read, while the Husband has a room in the den with a flat screen tv, and a mini bar where he hangs out with his boys. I will definitely have these rooms :)

[RyeLee]

Ohhh! Yes that is exactly what I am talking about! I want a girlie room for me and he will have his man cave, but he will sleep together at the end of the night.

[RositaV]

Exactly! The bedroom is the "us" room. Never go to bed angry. But during the day, I like my personal space, and I'm okay with his mancave, so he feels good too :)

[sovetskii13]

As long as my wife and I can still sleep together in the same bed every night, then she can have her own personal room if she wants it. But I should be able to enter it if I want or need to. Meaning, I am not okay if it's a room that only she can enter. That just wouldn't be fair to me. But she can still have her private time in her room if she needs it; just not all the time.

[sexyasianboi26]

Yup, same here.

I have a habit of turning, twisting, and rocking myself to sleep; so I don't think anyone would get any sleep if they sleep next to me lol. Not even my kitten who likes to snuggle next to me.

I'm sure the man you will marry someday, will understand you.

[RyeLee]

Awww! hahaha! Well I absolutely loveeee sleeping next to my boyfriend but I just think it would be fun to be able to choose whose room to sleep in every night, and we would also get to see who is REALLY the cleaner one, what each others' decorating taste is like, etc. Just as like a bonus lol. :)

[jaack]

I think it's a bit weird to have separate bedroom, why don't you choose a special room only for you but not a bedroom - like an office, why not, or just a room with big puffy cushions and books and whatever you like and you go there when you want to relax

[RyeLee]

Yeah I would be for that!

[justbanANNAz]

hmmm... I dunno, id love to share a room with my future husband... I get where your coming from tho, but I rekon when I'm older itll b the same room with our feminine and masculine things just all mixed up together lol=]

[RyeLee]

Thats a really good point!

[justbanANNAz]

:) yeah I can just imagine it... me not being able to find my things amongst his clutter lol.. gotta love it though=]

[RyeLee]

hahaha! so trueeee!

[Izzy2102]

I feel the same way, sometimes being able to have some privat time during the day would be great. I don't think it's a bad thing or that he'll be upset if you explain it to him right.

[RyeLee]

Privacy and quiet time is so nice sometimes :)

[Prof_Don]

If you mean a "woman cave"...then I'm all for it.

But if I'm married, I'm a traditionalist in this regard. The hubby and sure sleep together in the same bed. If she consistently doesn't want to then I feel she has an intimacy problem .

[irishelen]

I wouldn't like to have my own bedroom, because I would love to be close to my husband as possible, but yes. I really want my own spare room/office. That would be heaven :)

[HungryJones]

You can have your own bedroom...but I get to turn the basement into a lair.

[RyeLee]

hahahaha! that would be awesome :)

[HungryJones]

It's a deal then. :P

[Anonymous]

I get married to the love of my life and she just ends up being a female roommate that doesn't want to be near me. ha ha No thanks.

[RyeLee]

Noooo no, I want to be near him! I would still want to sleep next to him every night, but we could choose between his bedroom or my bedroom. For example, I already know he would want a memory foam mattress, but I prefer firm mattresses. So we could take turns sleeping together in our different rooms. I don't like to sleep in a room with electronics or food around, but he likes to eat and watch TV in bed. So we would each have what we want and choose where we want to sleep together each night.

[cavmanier]

I don't have that desire, but wouldn't be bothered by it.

[xzinax2]

do you plan on living in a mansion? that is too many rooms.

[RyeLee]

Any single family home would be fine for us. Size isn't important. We are currently renting a 3bedroom house, but we are sharing one bedroom and the other two are his glass blowing studio and his office/art room. Not trying to be greedy, but I hope that when we are married I can have a space to call my own too!

[xzinax2]

well,have one bedroom,and each of you gets a room spare. but both a spare bedroom and an office? dude. just sleep on the couch.

[RyeLee]

Lol I think you misunderstood my question! The amount of rooms doesn't matter. When I am married I will desire a room I can call my own, keep my things, have privacy, and decorate + clean to my liking. I know most married couples share a bedroom so I was wondering if anyone else felt the same way about having their own space while in a healthy marriage (still sleeping next to each other nightly, but in either bedroom). Even if I can only afford a couch as my bed, its good enough for me.

[xzinax2]

i understood your question-it's just a bit much. it's a bit immature,to keep a room for no reason when you're a young couple.

[RyeLee]

We are young and marriage is a long way away for me, but I am dreaming big with no limitations. I don't think having 2 bedrooms for 2 people is either mature or immature. Its just a preference. But whatever! To each his own! ;)

[Anonymous]

i don't think its a bad thing just try to find a good way to tell him.

[Anonymous]

I'd want my own study room. But I enjoy sharing a bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Realitically, a small office space is more feasible than your own bedroom.

You've gotta pay for all the rooms in your home... something Americans have been struggling with lately.

[Anonymous]

That seems unnecessary. Relationships requite compromise. Make the bedroom a place you BOTH want to go, something you BOTH like.

[Opinion Owner]

Require, my bad

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't mind as long as we had the space for it and as long as you invited me over to your bed or came over to my bed most every night.

[Anonymous]

i wouldn't really care, I would accept it