Questions: Relationships

I came so close to being a girl's first love and first everything.

Back in 2020, I was in a coding forum and met this devout Catholic girl who was homeschooled. She was 17 at the time, almost 18. I remember the very first conversation we had till this day. We really hit it off.

She later disclosed she never had a boyfriend or a first love. She had a crush on a guy but she was never close to him. In fact, she never had a male friend before she met me.

We talked every day and formed an online thing. I remember us talking about getting married at one point, where we would go on our honeymoon, and how we would name our kids. I was anticipating on marrying her.

A week after her 18th birthday, I went to go see her. She rejected me upon meeting in person. I was crushed beyond words.

Fast forwarding, she recently married this guy a few months ago who got to be her first everything. I still have nightmares about it. I had to be hospitalized because it was so traumatizing to me.

My biggest fear is not being able to find another woman like Rachel was when we first met. I fear that I will not find another girl that has never had her first love.

Some people are just racist and they are hating me because of my country. What about you? Im normal person who is educating at engineering. 23 yo, 1.8m ( I don't know inch) brown eyes , brown haired. Loving science, games ( especially lol xD), crazy about spend a time with friends, high qualify music activitys which mean bars xD etc. Would you?

I saw a statistic recently that50 percent of women 30 and above are single and childless. The article continued to show that once a woman hits 30 the chances of her having a long lasting marriage drops precipitously. And that men 30+ are mainly marrying women in their mid 20s. My main concern is that these women are turning themselves into a sub class that will only be used for pleasure and die alone since men cross culturally are less likely to marry older women. And many women are being lied to and told they can wait till they are 35 and there will be good men waiting for them, which in my opinion seems cruel. What are your thoughts?