Search Results: where do we stand in the relationship

I’m 27F, I was pretty much raised by my grandmother age 10+ because my parents divorced when I was 8. I didn’t like my moms boyfriend/was resentful & would prefer to not live with my dad. My grandmother seemed like a “safe place” only to find out she was very judgmental. My mom is the oldest of her two other kids and my mom has always been the black sheep. My mom confessed years later that my grandmother used to talk down to her & made it known that her other daughter was always the favorite. My mom always found it offensive that my grandmother took my dads side amidst the divorce, even though the divorce was my moms fault, my grandmothers friend even admitted that she should have sided with my mom because that’s her daughter.

I can’t stand my moms siblings/my aunt/uncle/godparents. While my grandmother made a lot of sacrifices for me, it came with a price. The terrible things she and her other kids have said about my mom to me. When I explained to my friend about my mom and grandmothers dynamic, she said my grandmother doesn’t like my mom. My mom has questioned their relationship too, my mom still chooses to be the bigger person hence my grandmother is getting older & the only alive parent. Because of this, my mother is not a firm believer in favoritism. I always question how my life would have turned out if I chose to stay with my parents for HS, versus moving with my grandmother to FL for her retirement years. Because of my grandmother, some of her traits have rubbed off on me: being particular, judgmental, negative, cynical, hard on myself etc.

While I am no where nearly as condescending as she is, my mom even jokes and calls me “nana 2.0”.