How many significant others would you say you’ve been IN LOVE with versus how many you just LOVED?
#FeelFreeToList in the comments below. And please share how you came to know the difference.
Being in love and loving someone are not one in the same. When you’re in love, its kind of an unconditional love where their flaws no longer stand out and you feel like you don’t want a future without them. Do not confuse the statement above with wanting to die if you cannot have them. Thats some next level stuff.
But what better way to explain a few of these relationships with a song. For some of the songs, just reverse a few of the lyrics as if its this girl singing about the guy. Funny thing is, these are the songs I used to lie around staring at the ceiling singing when thinking about the guy and what we’d been through.
I want to say I’d been IN LOVE with 5 guys. But now a days, I question if i ever really was…
—One was possibly one sided but that is still to be determined (potentially infatuation or unrequited love). He was my childhood friend and crush. It often felt mutual but when controlling parents get in the way, tables turn
—One was unable to be explored (practically the one that got away). We both had mutual interest in eachother, but we were just too young for our parents to allow us to date. And now that we’re old enough, we never appear to be single at the same time.
—One was forcing me to feel more (basically peer pressure). And he was that same one who took advantage of me and took my virginity. He was my first boyfriend and the greatest escape
—One was forcing me to change myself in order to be with him (technically extreme toxic love). Never will I ever consider giving up my relationship with the man from up above for some snake in the grass.
—One was second pick rather than first choice and a lot of the relationship turned out to be a lie (probably fake love). But being second pick didn't make him a rebound. I chose who I thought was better at the time. In reality, he turned out to be the exact same if not just as bad.
I mean I’m sure all of the above were toxic in some way. But at the time, I felt i was in love. Feelings for the unrequited and one that got away will likely remain subconsciously deep down until I get closure.
As for just simply “loving” but not being in love with the person, I’d say there were 8 other guys.
—One was in the mist of a love triangle. I loved him but chose someone i felt i was IN LOVE with. In reality, it was the other way around. I turned down who i was IN LOVE with for the one I loved.
—One was my first time loving someone in return because he loved me more. Im ashamed to have turned down his proposals in front of everyone TWICE. I really hurt him and now all he does is brag about hating hoes and only wanting to screw them and nothing more.
—One was a mutual love but short-lived. It may have just been a summer romance. Yet everytime we cross paths, it feels like we’ve fallen all over again.
—One was because he said he loved me first. It was the first and last time I ever said it back as a reflex without thinking. Damn those karaoke duets!
—One was nothing more than a toxic fantasy of us both wanting the same things in the future. But how we’d go about getting them was just not on the same page. Yet, we’ve crossed paths again and he's asked to write a new chapter. Had I not learned from the first time around, I might've given it another chance.
—One was his insecurities pressuring us to move fast. He was obsessing over me and would play the depression and suicidal card if I tried to escape. It was always me trying to keep him happy and fix him. Sorry, but i want to be girlfriend, not doctor.
—One was an in the moment thing but it grew into me really loving him. However, he loved me back too late for I had moved on.
—One I grew into loving… Only for it to end up one sided. He was the last time that I’d tell someone I loved them before they even showed me that we were on the same level of feelings.
As said in the lyrics of an LL Cool J song, #WhoDoYouLove …Are You For Sure?
But hey, its 2022 and I feel I’ve finally learned from my past mistakes. Love may or may not be for me. But to love and to be in love were experiences I’ll never forget.