Search Results: perfect match

Most of us have a well-defined idea of what constitutes our perfect match. I would describe my perfect match as age 55-65, very intelligent, educated (at least a four year college degree,) well mannered and has enough sophistication to attend a symphony concert, petite, cute face, well proportioned (no huge boobs or big behind!,) Christian, tends towards conservative beliefs, no drug use or alcohol abuse. The age range has increased over the years but the other qualities have been very consistent.

How often have I dated someone who matches all of those criteria? Of all the sexual partners I have had in 45 years, only one matched all of those criteria. Some of the others were close but most did not meet at least two or three criteria. Some were not very intelligent or well educated, some were not petite, did not have a cute face, some were not Christian, and a few were alcoholic or drug abusers (in the remote past.)

I consider a few of them to be mistakes, but not because they did not meet those criteria. The non-Christian liberal with a not very cute face was a mistake but not because of those qualities. The pudgy girl with the AA degree and big boobs didn't work, but we didn't break up because she was pudgy, lacked a four year degree, and we certainly didn't break up because of her boobs.

Experience has taught me that having a list of desirable qualities is understandable but we should always be open to dating someone who is not "our type." Have you ever been attracted to someone who is not your type? Did you date them? How did it work out?

Ever do or say something so thoughtful you shocked the other person and it changed the relationship?:)

From my life:
I roomed with my brother in college. He always had cereal/milk for breakfast. I loaded the dishwasher that morning. I'd often be a knucklehead and not think about anyone else and run everything. But today, I left 1 bowl and 1 spoon out that morning and left the last of the cereal for him, rather than eating it myself with enough milk! He got up for school and came in as I was heading out and figured he'd been screwed over and let out a sign of grief that he wouldn't have breakfast. When he saw that I had thought about him and did what was...perfect in consideration of him, his expression did a 180!

That little gesture dug deep through preconceived notions of who I was and it changed his view of me.

Since that day, our relationship changed. He had previously been emotionally abusive and demeaning. After, he started saying positive things to other people when he'd previously always would cut me down in front of them! It took years for me to accept positive words from him or anyone, it didn't match the broken record recorded inside!

I learned many years later that I am sensitive to words and empathic and it altered my life in so many ways. No that I've healed, it's like the butterfly coming out of the cocoon!

You can punch a hole through that stuff and get to the heart of the person and change their life with words and deeds if you try!

Words are like swords! They can cut deep. They can also extract a poison arrow from the heart!

So what could you do today, or what could you say that would strike another person in a way they never dreamed of? Go ahead and do it and see what happens?