Search Results: need romance

Girl 1
She wears lululemon yoga pants, tank tops, t shirts with her favorite singers or tv shows, and cute skinny jeans. She’s not very sporty, but wears tennis shoes because they’re comfy and her hair is tied up in a messy bun or ponytail. She loves instagramming and staying up late in a cozy bed watching her favorite Netflix shows and eating (who doesn’t love eating?) She is well rounded, smart but not nerdy, and does dancing. She is loud and confident on the outside but on the inside she’s sometimes a bit insecure. She loves partying and enjoying the moment. She has lots of casual friends she visits on the weekends, and she’s helpful if you need her.

Girl 2
She wears plaid skirts and t shirts, also tight dresses and pencil skirts. Her hair is shoulder length and, with side bangs, and straightened. she. Never plays sports. She is very very shy and has only two riends, because it takes a while to gain her trust, however, once you do, she is caring and always there for you to cheer you up. She stays with you and talks about whatever you want without ever judging you. She is very sweet and helpful and can be talkative when you are alone, and she loves cuddling, however, in public she is very shy and and can act cold nd shuns away from you. As you know her better you discover she loves studying history and can babble about it endlessly with a passion, and an extremely talented pianist. She loves writing and writes about romance and adventure, but she is a bit too shy to let you read them and you’re curious.

Girl 3
She wears yoga pants, tennis shoes, and tight athletic shirts. She’s always up for action and loves Traveling with you. She’ll tell you anything you need to know and is determined and focused, and to the point. She loves the outdoors and the unknown and is articulate and confident and strong. She prefers an action-filled lifestyle and is a strong feminist. She works hard and is trustworthy and indepedent and loyal.

So, I'm gonna get a bit of hate for this (and that's fine).
Long story short, I cheated on my ex twice.
They were more of affairs I guess, I realized we were different in college and I met someone but we didn't work out. I got back with my ex for a while and the same thing happened again after I moved across the country.

We are good friends and honestly if we hadn't broken up, we would've been dating for 10 years. We met at age 14 and started dating then, broke up at 19, then broke up again at 21.

I honestly don't deserve him or anyone right now, and I am staying single to work on my insecurities and issues.

But I've come back home for the holidays and well, we were spending time together and there was a moment we just looked at each other and then this passionate kiss happened. We were both shaking and really emotional after it happened, then it escalated to a full hookup. There were no "I love yous" exchanged, just fyi.

I've been home for 2 weeks and honestly we're acting like a couple. I don't want to lead myself on so I'm just assuming it's some winter romance or us trying to get "back to normal" (we broke up in October).

He deserves better than me, but to be honest I still have strong feelings for him. I don't know how he feels but he did tell me he didn't love me anymore in October, so I'm trying to protect myself too.

What should I do... talk about it? Let it be?

People tell me it seems like we're meant to be but maybe not right now and that I need to work on me first and get through grad school.

I just want him to be happy... but I don't know if it's selfish to cut it off or if it's more selfish to keep following this path which may or may not end badly...