Search Results: finding yourself

To say there is no problem with heavy drugs in America and most of Europe would be a denial of reality. You have fentanyl killing a record high number of Americans and in decriminalized areas like The Netherlands you see the degragading effects on society with homelessness and needles laying around the parks and on the streets. You also see this on the west coast and other places in America.

Then you have places like Singapore where the drug problem seems relatively controlled if you're willing to stomach it when it's your loved one who gets the long sentence or hanged if they happen to be caught drug smuggling. Seems like many of the ones who end up being executed are people from the west and from the perspective of the native of these countries the harsh penalties are not so difficult to bare, especially when the lawbreakers come to your country and add to the problem for residents to bare when the punishments are well known to those willing to risk it. No amount of money could possibly be worth dying over. A person might find these penalties to be distasteful or even amoral, admittedly while I do not fall into this camp I at least have sympathy towards that way of thinking.

Well these people might say that penalties and the payoff are rarely considered by the people who end up being caught, at least not before the crime is committed. They'd argue other reasons find them in this nightmarish situation of being caught and finding yourself facing a death sentence for doing something that in the west might not result in more jail time than a year with a good attorney. Or possibly none at all.

It almost seems too fantastical to imagine a livable place where people are allowed the freedom to decide whether to do or not do the drugs in a society where people practice a true form of freedom. Consequences for using such things would be the effects of the drugs themselves which can far outweigh any other considerations.

Would you rather stay in a stable relationship where everything is comfortable and secure, but you’ve fallen out of love and feel stuck, forcing yourself to go through the motions while longing for deeper emotional fulfillment? Or would you choose to leave and embrace the uncertainty of being single, fully aware that it might lead to loneliness and the possibility of never finding someone else again.

There are two types of long distance relationships:

1. When you meet, you live near each other, you begin a relationship, and then circumstances lead one of you to move away far enough that you can't see each other on a weekly basis. I am NOT asking about this type of LDR.

2. The second type is where you meet online, exchange texts, emails, phone calls, and clearly establish some romantic interest in each other. THIS is what I am asking about.

I have had the second type. I met a user on this site, who I will not name due to my respect for her. She is a beautiful lady who lives in Brazil, about 3,500 miles from my hometown. We talked, but not frequently, as she was somewhat shy, but we texted more frequently. I would have flown to Brazil to meet her, but this happened in 2020 - covid times. It became obvious that the international travel ban would not soon be lifted and there were some other factors that made me less hopeful about a future with her. We ended the regular communications and I have only heard from her sporadically since then.

I have a theory that shy people sometimes seek long distance relationships because they have an internal conflict: part of them wants to be in a relationship and part of them wants to run away from the idea. By finding a LDR, you can tell yourself that you are in a relationship without facing the prospect of actually meeting and dealing with all of the anxiety associated with that. But, of course, LDRs rarely materialize into real long term relationships. For most people, they are just a form of temporary "pretend" relationships.

What is your experience with LDRs?