Does being super desirable make relationships harder?

Question

If you are, or you know someone who everyone thinks is hot (and hopefully likeable as well) and they can probably get anyone they want, does that finding or staying in a relationship harder since everyone is always throwing themselves at that person or yourself.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I’ve been both attractive and unattractive in my life. I can tell you without a resounding doubt that having too many options is far far better than having limited or no options.

Having too many options can lead overthinking, annoyance about getting attention where you don’t want it, temptation to cheat, guilt and cognitive dissonance for turning down good options over fickle reasons. But still you are guaranteed something no matter what.

In contrast having limited or no options is rather horrible. Nothing will come to you if you don’t try (unless it’s someone else who is very unattractive).

It’s 100% on you to make a move and if you got constant paranoia about looking like “a creep” if you so happen to approach someone at the wrong moment or they are in the wrong mood. You are told to “be confident” but in the post #metoo era a unattractive man being confidently assertive with a woman can have very dire consequences (public humiliation including being video recorded, losing your job and worst of all being falsely accused of something).

I guess the best thing about not being attractive as you can at least go along your non-romantic business and not being distracted/bothered by other people. You also don’t have to deal with jealousy from the same gender.

But for you attractive women out there complaining about “having too many options”. Please take a deep breath, think everything through and very kindly, please just please STFU. You are like a very rich person who just got lucky via inheritance/winning the lotto and didn’t have to work for their wealth. Other than just staying in shape you are genetically blessed to have good skin, pretty face, nice hair, nice stature, etc. That was given to you out of pure luck. Be humble.

Hearing women complain about having “too many options” is like a wealthy person complaint about having too much time on their hands and not knowing what to spend their money on. It’s that incredibly self absorbed and conceited.

You do not want the opposite (being unattractive) trust me. Also an attractive man is not the equivalent to an attractive woman by a long shot. He literally gets a 200 yard head start in the dating race. An attractive woman gets to start at 800 yards (half way point). She can literally walk all the way to the finish line while everybody else has to give it their all to get ahead.

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

There are pros and cons. The benefit is that you pretty much get your pick since having so many people interested means that you can afford to be more selective.

The negative? More options can be tempting, and if you're not the deciplined type, it can lead to cheating from your end. It can also lead to allegations of cheating and insecurity from their end.

All in all, this is one of those things that you don't have control over, being blessed with good genetics just like other factors can be a double-edged sword. With that in mind, make sure you are wise enough to understand that looks fade, and try to invest in yourself to become more interesting as a person. Learn what values you want in a partner, and if your values are aligned, then you wouldn't have to worry about them being insecure if that's something you screen them for in the vetting process. Make sure that you also hold yourself accountable to know that when you have more options, you have to be more strict with what you allow especially when you're in a relationship and that you always leave the door closed to flirting that comes from the opposite gender.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's a nightmare. Objectified constantly. Stared at like a vaudeville attraction.

Weord ass behaviour

Stalkers.

Rumours.

Disgusting sexual propositions.

Jealousy. Suspicion.

Only narcissists and insane people actually have the "confidence" to approach you.

When you're in a relationship and you are found to be (gasp) human they abandon you.

You're always a means to an end. Usually having to do with their ego.

In relationships, partners who seemed secure feel the need to ruin your self worth to feel OK.

I've been in many relationships, a couple marriages and friendships of all types.

Being a whole package person has been torturous for me. I'm pretty much choosing to stay alone. I prefer fantasising about people who I fancy than a real relationship now.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I think being attractive is safe if you maintain privacy and make yourself difficult to find. The two best looking girls I've ever met do not use Facebook and have less than 5 friends on LinkedIn and they are confident and nice people who never have difficulty making friends.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating the sultry waters of desirability indeed adds an extra layer of complexity to the romance saga. When someone's hot to the touch, it's like they have this magnetic field pulling admirers in, left, right, and center, which honestly sounds more exhausting than running a marathon in high heels. 😏

But here's the twist in the tale: being a human magnet doesn't necessarily make finding true love harder; it's the staying part that can turn into a high-stakes game of emotional poker. Why, you ask? Think about it - when you're that irresistible, temptation looms around every corner, testing the trust and strength of your relationship like it's the ultimate love obstacle course.

However, if you're in it to win it, this scenario can actually fortify your love story. It's all about communication, baby! Keep those channels open, wear your heart on your sleeve (but maybe not your entire wardrobe), and you just might find that being super desirable isn't a curse but rather, a testament to the strength and uniqueness of your bond. Love, after all, isn’t about finding someone you can live with, it’s finding someone you can’t live without – amidst all the admirers. 💘

Finchie40 · Answer

It can, if the desirable person is an attention seeker , and they accept all the attention they are receiving and not respecting the boundaries they agreed upon with their partner. It comes down to respect for each other , basically what you don’t want your partner doing to you ,? has to be the same boundaries for you as well , or the relationship will not last the long haul. Me personally would not stay in a relationship with a girl that seeks and accepts all the attention she is receiving if she isn’t wearing my shoes the same way she wants me wearing hers , she is just a waste of time. A partner that values you and appreciates you, will ignore all the attention from others’ to show respect toward you and vice versa. They will follow the same boundaries as you do for them. If not? Kick them to the curb where they belong

Summeroflove · Answer

It depends it genuinely just depends look if can be a very special thing when you know someone’s choosing you because they genuinely want you not just because you’re the best option at the time.

The problems arise if someone isn’t trustworthy and some people may develop insecurities. If someone has self control and only interested in his or her partner then you know they will never cheat and if they become attracted to someone else and/or loose attraction. They will be open and honest to break it off

HawkPerception · Answer

People that get a lot of attention from others tend to have a higher ego and because of that they are more likely to have the belief that their partner is easily replaceable.

The thing is... there are those are extremely desirable and still extremely loyal and faithful and would never think of being with someone else while in a relationship with someone they love. But I would say those people are in the minority of people that can be classified as desirable.

imtiaz45 · Answer

Being super desirable can indeed make relationships more challenging. Highly desirable individuals often attract more attention, which can lead to jealousy or insecurity in a partner. They may also have more options, making it harder to choose or commit to one person. Additionally, others might idealize them, creating unrealistic expectations that strain the relationship. There's also the pressure to maintain a certain image or standard, which can be exhausting. While desirability can boost confidence, it may also lead to trust issues, superficial connections, or difficulty finding someone who values them for more than just their attractiveness.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

Like with everything else it depends.

People naturally will always try to throw themselves at someone they think is hot, but if you and your SO are 100% loyal to each other then it should only be a mild annoyance at worst unless someone attempts sexual assault against you or your SO, which is illegal.

JSkye · Answer

This is a question on the ease of monogamy when you are desired?

Obviously it means you will be tested more often than if you were not monogamous, but the ability to remain loyal to your partner doesn't really have anything to do with how many people throw themselves at you, it has to do with your own resolve.

As far as finding a new relationship goes, when a lot of people throw themselves at you, it's usually easier to find someone new than if you didn't have those options.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I'll be blunt. It makes possible sexual situations or interest more likely. So it helps if you're not wasting your time on good lookers that have no interest in you beyond fucking.

Now if you waste your time on people that just want to fuck and only fuck for fucking's sake... Your question starts to make sense and one might answer yes to it.

Nirmroth · Answer

Ik a guy whos really hot or simply very popular he doesn't stay single for long or at least always has some girls he's meeting casually if he isn't in a rl. Girls turning heads when going out with him etc.

Two of his three serious rls ended bec of the insecurity of his partners so far. Those 2 girls were still good looking just not model like like the guy.

BetaBucks · Answer

Yes and no. It makes it harder for malcontent cheaters. But it also means that people sticking around are doing it for genuine reasons and not "this is the best I can get" reasons. That's a majority of people and they live in constant regret and with feelings of failure.

exitseven · Answer

I suspect having a really hot girlfriend would be difficult because there is always somebody trying to take her away from you and if you do not have great self esteem you will be jealous and suspicious all the time.

RingOfFire · Answer

Yes. Whenever you have too many options for something, it always makes the decision more difficult, especially if you are constantly bombarded with new opportunities even after making your decision.

DanicaPhoenix · Answer

I imagine the problem for that person would be, determining if the ones wanting to date them really like them for who they are or if they just want to "get some" from the hottie.

sawno · Answer

There is more temptation and its harder to see who the good guys are that don't just want you for looks.

FreyaRed · Answer

I doesn't matter how many others want you when you want just one of them.

normalice · Answer

Afraid is the wrong word. Men generally just don't understand the point of marriage.

Nikki1989 · Answer

More men will approach, making it more likely you will be used.

jshm2 · Answer

No. It makes the relationship more appealing, to some.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Yes. It's very difficult for hotties to get attention cuz everyone thinks they're taken or out of their league. Fortune favors the bold...

paledreams · Answer

It must suck to be I'd say lol 😂 I look as I do - no rings here at all lol except donuts 🍩

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It doesn't have any impact, in my observation.

Anonymous · Answer

We're both used to keeping others away who "throw themselves" at us, so it's not an issue for us.

JesseP1nk · Answer

...

Anonymous · Answer

Of course not. Now, if you're attractive and do not really give a 💩 about your partner, then that could make things difficult.

Alexandria84 · Answer

Yes especially when younger wasn't sure who’s good partner who isn’t.

ICanSmellTheCosmos · Answer

Certainly makes being faithful more tempting. Not harder to find someone, though.

elaphe · Answer

It shouldn't if said person also is emotionally mature and of good character.

Litoidiotalltalk · Answer

But what’s bull is frickin men can have guts and stuff and still be super hot!

Jennz6 · Answer

Makes him harder

rienna888 · Answer

Yes definitely

LiamJHayden · Answer

Only if the desirable person is unfaithful.

OddBeMe · Answer

Yeah so you’re probably good.

Zoi1986 · Answer

Yes it can attract the wrong partners,

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Relationship is hard but the $$ is good

SashaHa · Answer

Yea…

jahaims · Answer

Nope

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Yes it does

TurboAnon · Answer

I wouldn't know.

Does being super desirable make relationships harder?

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