Have you ever had a successful long distance relationship?

Question

There are two types of long distance relationships:

1. When you meet, you live near each other, you begin a relationship, and then circumstances lead one of you to move away far enough that you can't see each other on a weekly basis. I am NOT asking about this type of LDR.

2. The second type is where you meet online, exchange texts, emails, phone calls, and clearly establish some romantic interest in each other. THIS is what I am asking about.

I have had the second type. I met a user on this site, who I will not name due to my respect for her. She is a beautiful lady who lives in Brazil, about 3,500 miles from my hometown. We talked, but not frequently, as she was somewhat shy, but we texted more frequently. I would have flown to Brazil to meet her, but this happened in 2020 - covid times. It became obvious that the international travel ban would not soon be lifted and there were some other factors that made me less hopeful about a future with her. We ended the regular communications and I have only heard from her sporadically since then.

I have a theory that shy people sometimes seek long distance relationships because they have an internal conflict: part of them wants to be in a relationship and part of them wants to run away from the idea. By finding a LDR, you can tell yourself that you are in a relationship without facing the prospect of actually meeting and dealing with all of the anxiety associated with that. But, of course, LDRs rarely materialize into real long term relationships. For most people, they are just a form of temporary "pretend" relationships.

What is your experience with LDRs?

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

Hey not fair!!
I picked 1 and “8”…

yiu didn’t put option 8!! Wah wah 😫 wah 😭… well… you see… number 8 is a lucky number.. and the rest is history. You know what I mean…my LDR now hubby will join me in a few minutes in bed after he checks through the house before bedtime.
night my dear friend.

Kayla45 · Accepted Answer

Personally I never did it, I find that meeting someone in person is much more impactful. So I’ve had my mind set on only truly befriending people who I meet in real life.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

We were and lived together together more than a year and a pandemic enforced us to become long distance.

Long distance lasted for 2.5 years but ended before we met.

It was much more successful than many stories I’ve heard of but It was not successful in the long run.

coachTanthony · Answer

Takes money and time for that to happen and most who go through a long distance thing are usually broke lol

FatNeville · Answer

The last option applies to me. I never really had much of a romantic life through middle school or high school. I think one time a cute girl in middle school randomly kissed me on the cheek once, but I never even found out her name. Besides that and dancing with a few girls at, well, dances, my only real emotional communication with the opposite sex had occurred online. There were some very minor instances where I talked to a girl to whom I thought I was attracted, but it never really amounted to anything. One girl, for example, was someone who went to the same school as I did but we had never met face-to-face. She was nice to me for a while online and I admired a photograph of her that she shared with me, but she eventually found out what I looked like and broke off communication with me because I "looked like a nose picker".

Little things like those were all I experienced and could hope for going into my college days. Eventually, though, I made a pass via IM with a random girl because I liked her screen name, but I was rebuffed, though not in an overly harsh manner, because it turned out she had a boyfriend at the time. Fast forward about a year or so, she was no longer in a relationship and remembered me, so she gave me another chance. We got to know each other better, and somehow things advanced between us without my really understanding what was going on. But before I knew it, we were IMing every day and eventually through much of the night, and that also expanded eventually into Skype video calls and telephone conversations. She would put me on her cell phone's speakerphone and stay on the line with me until she fell asleep. When I heard her start to snore, I would hang up the call and try to spare her phone's battery a bit.

She and I both lived in the southeastern United States, but like an 11- to 12-hour drive apart from each other. Eventually she and her sister were coming down to Florida, the state in which I live, to vacation and visit Universal's Islands of Adventure, but she also had the intention of meeting me in person for the first time. I was invited to spend the day in the theme park with her, her sister, and a friend. We had a rather nice time, and it was a good way to make a memorable "first impression" (in person, though we already had strong impressions of each other formed from our electronic interactions). They were in-state for a few days, and her sister did stuff like go to the beach or whatever and the girl mostly hung out with me at my house and we had sex a few times.

We had a nice experience being in each other's presence physically, and we made fond memories of having pizza, watching a movie, and various acts of physical intimacy. But it was a bit sad when she had to return home. We continued to talk electronically as we had before. Over time, our attachment to each other got to the extent that she decided that she wanted to wrap up her affairs she had where she was and move in with me in my house. When the time came that she was ready to move, my mom and I took a trip up to where she lived so we could check the place out and so that I could meet her parents and she and her parents could meet my mom. We did a few fun things around where she lived, and then we helped her drive down to Florida with what possessions she could bring with her in her car.

We had a good relationship and continued getting to know each other better, and we were able to be a big part of each others' lives. Other than work, we pretty much spent all of our time together or at least nearby in the same house. Different things happened, as happens in life, and eventually I proposed marriage to her, and she accepted. We were engaged for a few years, but never really had the means to carry out a wedding that we would like.

In this case, the good times were not to last forever. After we were together for roughly seven years, she decided that she was fed up with me and needed someone who was less needy and more independent. I reacted badly when she communicated this to me, and as a result I was in the hospital for a bit. By the time I got discharged, she and whatever of hers she was able to take with her were gone for good. We continued to talk online a bit for a month or two, but she decided she didn't want me in her life at all, so she told me that she didn't want to talk to me. It's been a few years now, and I haven't heard from her since, but I have reasons to believe that she has found another man and I hope she is happier with him than she was with me.

StarWarGirl · Answer

I met a guy online in January 2022. We started talking with each other just as two strangers only had intension to share out thoughts our minds etc. He had no plans of being in relationship because of last bad breakup he had. We have not even shared our pic with eachother for next three months because we had noooo intention to be anything more than just two people being good to eachother. But gradually we started getting attracted with eachother personalities. After 3 months we shared our pic with eachother. After that we started talking over video call. And we started feeling more connected. After 4 months we started realising about our developing feelings for eachother. 5th months he gave me a surprise visit to my city traveling 10 hours long journey in that hot summer day. After few days he confessed his love to me but told that i need not to feel pressure kind it's just his feelings and he feels I'm right girl for him so he will keep trying to get me. Since July he started trying various jobs so that he could provide better for me. And seeing his all these dedication I also accepted him as my life partner. After that now we have completed 2 years and 5 months and I'm trying to convince my parents to get married with him. He has already convinced his parents and his family knows about me. My family also know about him but because of caste difference etc they are hesitant but I'm sure I can convince them. We know we are the right person for each other. In these two years there are many such situations has come where it has got proven also he is the man I can trust without having single doubt.

So yes we are having successful long distance relationship for last two years and half months.

msc545 · Answer

I once met a woman online who actually lived in Mexico City, and we met shortly thereafter when she cam to LA and we spent about a week together. I subsequently traveled to Mexico City every other weekend to see her, and things went well for about a year. I sometimes could go there for a week or 10 days, and we traveled together to places in Mexico like Puerto Vallarta and Acapoulco and had a great time. She came came to LA twice more, and we went to Big Sur and sailed to Catalina on my boat. We planned a trip to Europe one summer, but:

I had very strong feelings for her but never trusted her as she had long periods of absence that she refused to explain, and we had agreed to be exclusive. She finally made a mistake and I became aware of the extent of her infidelity, which was extensive - so:

I broke up with her. We never did make it to Europe. Sometimes I miss her a lot.

Grond21 · Answer

I met my current girlfriend on here. We knew each other for 3 years before we started dating and we had met several times in person. But the entire duration of our friendship has been long distance. We are still long distance but the relationship is going really well and it has lasted for over a year. So I guess I'm one of the few who has been successful.

I know the relationship you speak of with the girl in Brazil. She and I were friends for a few years as you know, but unless I'm misunderstanding you I didn't think it was an actual relationship. Just more of a romantic pursuit that didn't work out. Would you agree?

Lynx122 · Answer

Yes I have. We've known each other for over 3 years we've met up once for 6 weeks we've been together for 9 months seriously. I'm not sure about the future if we can really make it work but not necessarily because of the distance but other things as well. But I am still happy that she's in my life even if we don't end up being together because she just likes me very much and my life is better with her in it even if we just text and call.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I have not been in the type of LDR you’re asking about. I haven’t connected with anyone online since I was a teen, lol.

My old bff though used to meet her bfs on Xbox. She’s had 2 relationships that lasted 3+ years and she used to go visit them.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, lol. I dated a guy from UK when I was 16 to 20 ish. We talked every day, night to day, said I love you etc. it was noted we only did like Skype calls 1 time because we were both so awkward. He was really my first true love even though we never talked on the phone or anything. I still have his contact info and can message him whenever even 11 years later even though we both work and have stuff going on in life but those were the best times. I remember being with him when he moved into his college dorm and him sending me pictures, now he’s graduated and in data analysis. I’ll go a few months to years without talking to him then message him and I know he will always respond, it broke my heart recently because for the first time ever, he didn’t respond when I messaged him last. I hope he’s doing okay.

Staximus · Answer

I've met women online and met up with them in person, but they lived nearby. Making friends online is cool but expecting more is just wishful thinking and seeing yourself up for disappointment, unless you can afford to fly and go see them all the time.

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

Nah, this is why distance is the most important factor to me when I'm on Tinder. I don't care if he's 6'2, a famous comic, and unbelievably suave. I'm not driving 30ks a day just to meet him 😭

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

I've never had this type. I only had the former type you aren't asking about. I had those a lot moving around all over the place. But I never had a remote relationship.

sawno · Answer

The relationship was amazing, one of the best experiences of my life full of immense mutual love. But we couldn't bridge the distance in time, so it was successful in the sense that we never had a real fight and it was a great experience. But not successful in bridging the distance, lockdowns were a big part in that we couldn't visit each other when we wanted. I also was prevented from traveling to her until the moment her life changed and she could no longer free up time in my timezone.

SolitarySolace · Answer

The two long distance relationships I had in the past they both cheated on me. All long distance relationships end the same way. You honestly can’t know what they’re doing because you’re never around to actually see them. I guess it’ll only work out if you’re not a jealous individual or if you’re into open relationships or anything that isn’t monogamy. The type of stuff that destroying traditional relationships. As if those are any better anyway

Pterodon · Answer

I was on this site when I was 55. I met a 29 year old virgin on here that lived eight hours away. We developed a very serious four year relationship but in the end the age gap was too much. It wasn’t the distance. She’s 36 now and we still talk

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Nope. All of them ended in failure for the same reason. You just start to lose interest eventually.

exitseven · Answer

My LDR was with somebody I met at school and we both transferred to different schools 1500 miles apart so i guess I will pass on this question.

Raaj4you · Answer

I chose 2nd option. But I am going further pretty soon. I have waited long enough. I want to create a successful LDR relationship. I would give my 100% to make it work.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I agree with your theory. But for me, it's not that I PREFER long-distance relationships. I simply don't MIND them.

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, and I would never try to make it work.

Have you ever had a successful long distance relationship?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Have you ever had a successful long distance relationship?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.