Search Results: in love with one, sex is great with the other

I have been in a long term relationship for over a year now with a guy I met and fell in love with online.
However, before we really connected, I asked him simply for his companionship, but he initialized our relationship.
I sought out for a kindred spirit. One I could laugh, travel and have sex with, not a commitment-- not a lifelong commitment.
Do I date many guys? No. I have been hurt enough, I was seeking someone who could benefit my life and have it make sense again. It's far different than a friends with benefits.
I was looking for someone I could connect with on a whole new level without the stresses a relationship is known to bring.
Someone I could learn from, take friendship in, and conversate, learn and grow.
This person and I don't have to initially be "one", and I realized I'm not the marrying type at least not yet.
Him and I already, work great as a team, get lost in each other's eyes, talk, go on long drives, and have plenty of intimacy but we have had our many problems. His lack of not following through with his word, his lying, and so forth. My rambunctious, nit picking, and accusations of him cheating.

We have fun, but What are "We" , really , as a whole? Should I stick with my word and follow through with the companionship I'm seeking?

So, my boyfriend of almost 2 years has been coming over to my house for a really long time, probably about 5 months after we started dating? (I'm 16, he's 15 - just a few months apart if that matters). He at first started coming over once every other week but recently he's been coming over about 2-3 days a week (he's started coming to church w/ me & my mom: we pick him up Sunday mornings & his parents come get him around 4, & on Wednesdays he rides the bus home with me & we chill until about 5-6 for church & then drop him home). Every other Saturday he comes over about 1:30-6. Here's where the problem comes in.

First, to let you know, I am a great child. Not a problem child. I get good grades at school, & have around a 3.7-4.0 GPA, maintaining a 100 in class for months now. I'm a reserved person, introvert. I go absolutely nowhere (i live in a tiny town anyways, there's nowhere to go). You get the point. Anywho, whenever my boyfriend comes over, we stay in the den (we're not allowed to be in my room). We normally lay down on the couch & watch tv/Netflix/YT, sleep, talk, kiss, cuddle (cmon, we're dating), & just have a fun time. When we lay down on the couch, we typically have covers on us. My house loves to stay cold, & it is still the winter time. Long story short, my mother has something against us cuddling in the covers, & it's become more recently & frequent that she tells me this. If she's afraid that were going to have sex, she needs to relax. For one, I have no interest in doing that right now (i actually stayed after school at tutoring to both do schoolwork & look up career options). Even if I were to want that right now, I have a form of protection (birth control - shot). I got that recently & maybe that's a leading reason she's being so uptight. I'm growing up, she has to learn to give me either some space, trust, or some room to let me make a mistake.

Long story short- we were good together and then we were bad. He was manipulative and conniving and in three years he went from emotionally abusing me to finally- hitting me. That was the last straw and I left him there and then. We’ve been broken up for 1.5 years now. We occasionally message on Facebook to check in on each other. We were doing so this week and unusually the conversation continued into the next day. Unfortunately my wallet got stolen and I was really upset and called him to get me (fyi- we haven’t seen each other since he hit me and we broke up) it was silly. But instinctual. I needed a comforting hand. He drove an hour and twenty mins to me. We hugged, and said that’s it, once in the car we spoke. It was good tbh, we communicated (something we lacked in the relationship) and was able to hash out any angst, we briefly spoke about how if we were to try again, how great it would be bc we’re both so mature and better people now. He then told me I was the love of his life. And we kissed, and I’m sure you can guess the rest.
I felt guilty instantly and felt bad for the girl. We stayed together for a few hours after that and now it’s all just so confusing. He messaged me yesterday evening and told me he’s sorry and he’s torn and he doesn’t know what to do and his girlfriend hasn’t done anything wrong apart from trying to make their relationship work. I saw a different side to him when we met and it opened up a lot of feelings. I know we can’t be together but I’m hurting. I told him we can’t do this every few months checking in on eachother anymore as dynamics have now changed since we said those three words to each other when we met yesterday.
Before any one says anything- i felt absolutely shit for sleeping with a taken man. So please don’t dwell on that and make me feel bad.

Any perspective from either guy or girl would be great. Thank you