Be a Man.
Three words, a key for a door we are discouraged to walk through - even to admire its sturdy, complex craftwork.
What a curious thing that "male spirit" in and of itself, exudes strength, power and authority quinessentially, long before life even determines them to be born as sons.
I mention this to hit the unity of nurture and nature which helps define what we observe of masculinity, rather than just the subjective aspects we create. This nature, often forgotten, makes men seem like a construct of society rather than a construct of realism. You know, something only manmade, robotic and inhuman. Depicted in a cold, heartless manner, men become an object of fear which is strange - its only a "mode" switched on when necessary.
And it is very necessary. Nature is quite orderly, and I wonder why establish men in this way? Men are made cell for cell (wire by wire,) like this, to be the organic builders of our "world."
1.) As Long As You Are Happy
My beloved father. I think of him always, longing to hear his voice at 9:00pm everyday, our usual routine. Remembering that time will come when he is gone from me.
Until then, he insist on loving me as his "gongjunim" - korean for princess.
12-17 hour work days, preparing full dinners, breakfast and lunch; dad got 3 hours asleep per night before waking to prepare us for our day. Maybe 3 hours. Most nights he would suffer from chronic back pain, a remnant of a serious military injury he aquired. I cried, and still do feeling helpless that he has never rested.
"As long as you are happy, it doesn't matter."
He still says this today, as we laugh and cook dinner together. Heh... I'm not even his biological daughter.
"The Atlas,"is a famed icon derived from Greek mythology. A man is depicted holding up the entire world, and has been coined as a good capture of how men exist in conjunction to our shared world. As powerful as Atlas looks holding up the earth, this was actually his punishment.
If any guy finds himself here, you are the embodiment of pure, unconditional love. (For all the interracial fathers, { my poor abujee -}who endured the arthritic wrist pain and broken combs of afro hair - you are the embodiment of pure, greasy handed, unconditional love.) I imagine how itchy Atlas' nose must be - but the smallest shift for comfort means the world falls.
A man does not spare himself to uphold his love for his entire world.
They rarely speak on it, for what man needs to explain himself, when we live in the bounty of their sacrifice each day.
Of course the thought arises of, "Well I understand, but women also carry the world on our shoulders not only men."
Does not a home need every supporting beam along with its foundation? The honest question is: why do we believe corrosive gender conditioning to think that a woman's supporting role is inferior?
If someone said the roots of a tree were inferior, is it not a laughable matter?
What's not a laughable matter is legal sexism, that rips a man's children from him because a woman is always the more suitable parent. You know, since men are less loving, less devoted, incapable of nurture, and can not fulfill the emotional needs of their own kids. Had my mother just killed her pride instead of threatening to kill his heart and take us - not only would we of had both our parents, a better llife too, but her state would have been healthier as well.
She took full custody easily (of course,) so our dads (my biological and my step-dad, my brother's biological,) would be forced to pay close to 1200.00 a mos for child support. Which she used for hair, nails, shoes and clothes. Still strange to me that the one who pulled the knife on my dad and had no home for us to live in - is still the more "proper" parent. I'll leave the rape, molestation, and emotional / verbal abuse I was subjected to under her "care," for the sake of time. My dad built our world as a man, and took every hit he could for us to make it.
"As long as you are happy."
2.) His Lock Box
I harbor no resentment against my mother. The men taught me to forgive and forego - in that hot steel robot way of "man-up or shut-up," which at times is good learning, though I seriously despise the nastiness of men constantly being anatagonized for their "manhood." (The feeling of "I've failed as a man," is one of the top reasons men commit suicide today.)
Later though, I understood why men have a shorter capacity for sympathy - its not insensitivity, its logical aptitude.
Distress, chaos, and instability shake men up like a fresh coke. We aren't talking a messy house or frantic schedule, we are talking how disgruntled men become when the world they are holding is crumbling or is dust.
Men have this fearful "dark side," often the result of desperate risky actions to regain a sense of stability and control. In the same way a woman would suddenly kill, steal or subject herself to humiliating situations for her children's sustainability. Men are just 34-64% stronger and bigger; being attacked by him is more dangerous than an assault from a woman, branding that "men are threats most of the time," stereotype.
(Here this out fellas, you walk a fine line between gentle giants and a person's worst encounter. That critical thinking goes a long way as opposed to impulsive action. I think it shouldn't be a stigma for a man to hit an aggressive woman, but the stereotype gained life through men deducing by logic, not by emotional impulse. When men get all up in their feelin's expensive objects and people get broken. Or killed.)
Due to this rationale, crying over spilled milk does not make the mop magically sop it up, and the cow re-milk itself. Men think "mop" then "re-milk," because it bothers them that those they love are emotionally dwelling, upset, and a good solution will resolve all - a hug and "sorry.."would prove ineffective at this point. Personal discord is unsettling for a guy, Atlas may be experiencing difficulty with that itchy nose, but hearing the ones you've carefully built this world around cry out, or the smallest crack in your neatly laid soil, hits men as a still born baby hits a woman.
Ever notice how men also have the knack and conjoining societal stereotype for going, or to go, "above and beyond."
If the sky is falling, you can gurantee men will find a way to defy evolution, sprout wings and sew it themselves.
All of this, because of how they love.
Men would rather suffer and even die if it will keep the world in order - and they prefer their dearest mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters to stay safe and comfortable as they do so.
"Women should be allowed to, (insert unnecessarily difficult situation here,) as men do!"
What man wants his mother to deal with this:
Or his sister this:
Or subject his wife to this:
Or his daughter to deal with the crazy men he rather would:
Yes please say it aloud - "WELL- men cause war and men ruined government and men caused global warming... and men sent the meteor to kill the dinosaurs -" Right, as it certainly has nothing to do with gaining resources, the best logical conclusion at the time, internal corruption, and the depraved minds lingering about.
Pride has no gender - even in a world of women it will make a way continuously divide us.
Brunettes will be making war against the blondes. The suffering of his loved ones and helplessness he feels if he can not fix it - It disturbs him. If we could be kept in his cozy lock box, completely sheltered from the evils of the world, men would not hesitate. There's no counting the arguments I had at 16, of dad refusing to let me go out as late and as much as my older brother.
Seeing how he has killed many men in war before, claiming my sexist oppression, I just didn't get releasing this double standard meant he may need to potentiall kill some handsy teenage boys. I forgot the risk and him being the wall between I and all else. Men still keep trying to do this box thing, knowingly or unwittingly. I hate to say that a man's loved ones can be like an irreplaceable piece of property to them, but we can be like an obsessively possessed precious piece of irreplaceable property to men.
This earth is a massive lock box. It's done through socially driven roles, but of course ego looms and the box became a sexist prison. Now we experience the opposite in which the lock is broken and the contents inside are exposed, be it the failing economy, gender flux, various steep issues plaguing our modern world.
I thought it great to escape said box...if hell wasn't on the outside. Depending on a person's own heart, the lock is entrapment, or a device to control others for unjust gain. In truth, the lock box was never a trap; it was to keep everything of detriment out, and keep the most valuable things in.
That said, in time I finally perceived that dad could of focused on a comfy life in his own "box," but not only did he have to build and maintain it, he had to fend the demons off too. Sure. I'm a very "strong", "independent" girl. I feel no less a woman for doing what I could to support dad in his duties, and I feel no more a woman if I am fighting demons at his side. Lionesses have fangs, claws, and our strength as well. When you have a wolf in your face, wolf on back, and another pack approaching, the lionesses got you.
WE. GOT. YOU.
At least thats how it should be. Having natural consideration not because he is a man in your life - but consideration for him as a fellow human in struggle. This is the fault not only in gender division, but all facets of humanity. So if gender division has nothing to do with gender, what is the truth to gender division?
3.) Your Soul Will Pay
Its the retailers that market gender extremes to deprive us of human identity so we feel the need to buy.
A 50's housewife could be the "cutest wife," only if she takes pep vitamins of course.
Apparently a Van Heusen tie is the epitome of manliness.
Axe loves the, "men are just sex hungry dogs," hysteria and the, "a liberated woman is free; a virgin is a victim of control and masogyny." Sex is a lucrative business, better make all the virgins and "sqaures" feel inadequate. I mean, how else can you convince a once conservative society to indulge in your products without forcing an identity crisis?
Ain't it somethin' ya'll? Creating these pseudo-concepts of gender "equality" to further propogate said ideologies, that we can not just be fine being human, but purchase our "true selves."
Greed knows no bounds - even at the price of social and personal decay.
~
Whats neat is the we are equipped in our gender "powers" to stand as one and combat these powers of darkness seeking to destroy us each day. There should be no troubled thought that men are great for their pains in upholding up the world - How moved, how encouraged they feel to have a loving hand scratch that nose. Even Atlas needs a warm embrace to rest in.
Ego will kill itself, so long as it has no water or sun to grow; that being the depravity that exist in our own hearts. It overtook her, but he was there to hold us all up. Together we stood, and after pride's long death, my mom was found hidden in there. I felt her love for the first time in 24 years; because these men bore the weight of the world for me. For her, for my siblings, for their mothers - for all.
~
"Though we did not see, love perceived.
Though we did not hear, love listened.
Though we did not know, love understood.
Though we did not touch, love felt.
You hid in silence your hurt,
all to hold us high.
You gave your life for us
It was your joy to die."
- A Poem to Dad (Father's day 2011)
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