A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Be a Man.

Three words, a key for a door we are discouraged to walk through - even to admire its sturdy, complex craftwork.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

What a curious thing that "male spirit" in and of itself, exudes strength, power and authority quinessentially, long before life even determines them to be born as sons.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

I mention this to hit the unity of nurture and nature which helps define what we observe of masculinity, rather than just the subjective aspects we create. This nature, often forgotten, makes men seem like a construct of society rather than a construct of realism. You know, something only manmade, robotic and inhuman. Depicted in a cold, heartless manner, men become an object of fear which is strange - its only a "mode" switched on when necessary.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

And it is very necessary. Nature is quite orderly, and I wonder why establish men in this way? Men are made cell for cell (wire by wire,) like this, to be the organic builders of our "world."

1.) As Long As You Are Happy

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

My beloved father. I think of him always, longing to hear his voice at 9:00pm everyday, our usual routine. Remembering that time will come when he is gone from me.

Until then, he insist on loving me as his "gongjunim" - korean for princess.

12-17 hour work days, preparing full dinners, breakfast and lunch; dad got 3 hours asleep per night before waking to prepare us for our day. Maybe 3 hours. Most nights he would suffer from chronic back pain, a remnant of a serious military injury he aquired. I cried, and still do feeling helpless that he has never rested.

"As long as you are happy, it doesn't matter."

He still says this today, as we laugh and cook dinner together. Heh... I'm not even his biological daughter.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

"The Atlas,"is a famed icon derived from Greek mythology. A man is depicted holding up the entire world, and has been coined as a good capture of how men exist in conjunction to our shared world. As powerful as Atlas looks holding up the earth, this was actually his punishment.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

If any guy finds himself here, you are the embodiment of pure, unconditional love. (For all the interracial fathers, { my poor abujee -}who endured the arthritic wrist pain and broken combs of afro hair - you are the embodiment of pure, greasy handed, unconditional love.) I imagine how itchy Atlas' nose must be - but the smallest shift for comfort means the world falls.

A man does not spare himself to uphold his love for his entire world.

They rarely speak on it, for what man needs to explain himself, when we live in the bounty of their sacrifice each day.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Of course the thought arises of, "Well I understand, but women also carry the world on our shoulders not only men."

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Does not a home need every supporting beam along with its foundation? The honest question is: why do we believe corrosive gender conditioning to think that a woman's supporting role is inferior?

If someone said the roots of a tree were inferior, is it not a laughable matter?

What's not a laughable matter is legal sexism, that rips a man's children from him because a woman is always the more suitable parent. You know, since men are less loving, less devoted, incapable of nurture, and can not fulfill the emotional needs of their own kids. Had my mother just killed her pride instead of threatening to kill his heart and take us - not only would we of had both our parents, a better llife too, but her state would have been healthier as well.

She took full custody easily (of course,) so our dads (my biological and my step-dad, my brother's biological,) would be forced to pay close to 1200.00 a mos for child support. Which she used for hair, nails, shoes and clothes. Still strange to me that the one who pulled the knife on my dad and had no home for us to live in - is still the more "proper" parent. I'll leave the rape, molestation, and emotional / verbal abuse I was subjected to under her "care," for the sake of time. My dad built our world as a man, and took every hit he could for us to make it.

"As long as you are happy."

2.) His Lock Box

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

I harbor no resentment against my mother. The men taught me to forgive and forego - in that hot steel robot way of "man-up or shut-up," which at times is good learning, though I seriously despise the nastiness of men constantly being anatagonized for their "manhood." (The feeling of "I've failed as a man," is one of the top reasons men commit suicide today.)

Later though, I understood why men have a shorter capacity for sympathy - its not insensitivity, its logical aptitude.

Distress, chaos, and instability shake men up like a fresh coke. We aren't talking a messy house or frantic schedule, we are talking how disgruntled men become when the world they are holding is crumbling or is dust.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Men have this fearful "dark side," often the result of desperate risky actions to regain a sense of stability and control. In the same way a woman would suddenly kill, steal or subject herself to humiliating situations for her children's sustainability. Men are just 34-64% stronger and bigger; being attacked by him is more dangerous than an assault from a woman, branding that "men are threats most of the time," stereotype.

(Here this out fellas, you walk a fine line between gentle giants and a person's worst encounter. That critical thinking goes a long way as opposed to impulsive action. I think it shouldn't be a stigma for a man to hit an aggressive woman, but the stereotype gained life through men deducing by logic, not by emotional impulse. When men get all up in their feelin's expensive objects and people get broken. Or killed.)

Due to this rationale, crying over spilled milk does not make the mop magically sop it up, and the cow re-milk itself. Men think "mop" then "re-milk," because it bothers them that those they love are emotionally dwelling, upset, and a good solution will resolve all - a hug and "sorry.."would prove ineffective at this point. Personal discord is unsettling for a guy, Atlas may be experiencing difficulty with that itchy nose, but hearing the ones you've carefully built this world around cry out, or the smallest crack in your neatly laid soil, hits men as a still born baby hits a woman.

Ever notice how men also have the knack and conjoining societal stereotype for going, or to go, "above and beyond."

If the sky is falling, you can gurantee men will find a way to defy evolution, sprout wings and sew it themselves.

All of this, because of how they love.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Men would rather suffer and even die if it will keep the world in order - and they prefer their dearest mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters to stay safe and comfortable as they do so.

"Women should be allowed to, (insert unnecessarily difficult situation here,) as men do!"

What man wants his mother to deal with this:

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Or his sister this:

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Or subject his wife to this:

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Or his daughter to deal with the crazy men he rather would:

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Yes please say it aloud - "WELL- men cause war and men ruined government and men caused global warming... and men sent the meteor to kill the dinosaurs -" Right, as it certainly has nothing to do with gaining resources, the best logical conclusion at the time, internal corruption, and the depraved minds lingering about.

Pride has no gender - even in a world of women it will make a way continuously divide us.

Brunettes will be making war against the blondes. The suffering of his loved ones and helplessness he feels if he can not fix it - It disturbs him. If we could be kept in his cozy lock box, completely sheltered from the evils of the world, men would not hesitate. There's no counting the arguments I had at 16, of dad refusing to let me go out as late and as much as my older brother.

Seeing how he has killed many men in war before, claiming my sexist oppression, I just didn't get releasing this double standard meant he may need to potentiall kill some handsy teenage boys. I forgot the risk and him being the wall between I and all else. Men still keep trying to do this box thing, knowingly or unwittingly. I hate to say that a man's loved ones can be like an irreplaceable piece of property to them, but we can be like an obsessively possessed precious piece of irreplaceable property to men.

This earth is a massive lock box. It's done through socially driven roles, but of course ego looms and the box became a sexist prison. Now we experience the opposite in which the lock is broken and the contents inside are exposed, be it the failing economy, gender flux, various steep issues plaguing our modern world.

I thought it great to escape said box...if hell wasn't on the outside. Depending on a person's own heart, the lock is entrapment, or a device to control others for unjust gain. In truth, the lock box was never a trap; it was to keep everything of detriment out, and keep the most valuable things in.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

That said, in time I finally perceived that dad could of focused on a comfy life in his own "box," but not only did he have to build and maintain it, he had to fend the demons off too. Sure. I'm a very "strong", "independent" girl. I feel no less a woman for doing what I could to support dad in his duties, and I feel no more a woman if I am fighting demons at his side. Lionesses have fangs, claws, and our strength as well. When you have a wolf in your face, wolf on back, and another pack approaching, the lionesses got you.

WE. GOT. YOU.

At least thats how it should be. Having natural consideration not because he is a man in your life - but consideration for him as a fellow human in struggle. This is the fault not only in gender division, but all facets of humanity. So if gender division has nothing to do with gender, what is the truth to gender division?

3.) Your Soul Will Pay

Its the retailers that market gender extremes to deprive us of human identity so we feel the need to buy.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

A 50's housewife could be the "cutest wife," only if she takes pep vitamins of course.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Apparently a Van Heusen tie is the epitome of manliness.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Axe loves the, "men are just sex hungry dogs," hysteria and the, "a liberated woman is free; a virgin is a victim of control and masogyny." Sex is a lucrative business, better make all the virgins and "sqaures" feel inadequate. I mean, how else can you convince a once conservative society to indulge in your products without forcing an identity crisis?

Ain't it somethin' ya'll? Creating these pseudo-concepts of gender "equality" to further propogate said ideologies, that we can not just be fine being human, but purchase our "true selves."

Greed knows no bounds - even at the price of social and personal decay.

~

Whats neat is the we are equipped in our gender "powers" to stand as one and combat these powers of darkness seeking to destroy us each day. There should be no troubled thought that men are great for their pains in upholding up the world - How moved, how encouraged they feel to have a loving hand scratch that nose. Even Atlas needs a warm embrace to rest in.

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)

Ego will kill itself, so long as it has no water or sun to grow; that being the depravity that exist in our own hearts. It overtook her, but he was there to hold us all up. Together we stood, and after pride's long death, my mom was found hidden in there. I felt her love for the first time in 24 years; because these men bore the weight of the world for me. For her, for my siblings, for their mothers - for all.

~

"Though we did not see, love perceived.

Though we did not hear, love listened.

Though we did not know, love understood.

Though we did not touch, love felt.

You hid in silence your hurt,

all to hold us high.

You gave your life for us

It was your joy to die."

- A Poem to Dad (Father's day 2011)

A Man's Silent Sacrifice (Part II Final)
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Most Helpful Guy

  • HotDogg

    Well said. I teared up when I read your words, because you truly understand what unconditional love is, and how many men struggle to protect our fellow humans from the pain and hurt caused by the evils of the world. An unconditional love so true, that we willingly die for it, sacrificing our own lives so that others may live.

    I am glad to know you have experienced that kind of love. I wish you didn't have to go through the pain and abuse, but you survived and came out stronger than before. That experience combined with your father's unconditional love have made you a very wise person who is able to touch the hearts of people you've never met. Quite the accomplishment in this world surrounded by negativity and hate.

    Please, keep doing what you're doing. We humans need more of this, now more than ever.

    Is this still revelant?
    • HotDogg

      by the way, are you into Korean music at all? I was reminded of a song, but I forgot the title as its been many years since I've heard it. I did find this and thought it was relevant, she speaks about the gifts and wisdom her father gave her: https://youtu.be/1DK-MPh7vKk

Most Helpful Girl

  • MelaninDoll

    WRITE A FUCKING BOOK PLEASE! I I WOULD ENJOY READING THIS, IT'S SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL! I appreciate men just a a whole lot more now, not that I didn't before. You guys really need to speak up like seriously you're just letting these modern day feminists shit all over you, they don't understand!

    Is this still revelant?
    • Most men just take it, because feminists aren't worth arguing with.

    • I get the appeal to our common humanity but at the same time you say that a man hitting an aggressive (however you define it) is not humane. Only love can conquer hate.

    • @msmarystrawberry I have no idea why you're telling me this, but i agree <3

What Girls & Guys Said

210
  • Charleslvajr

    Unfair, you made me tear up. As a husband and father I would give you my shoulder and my care. Love to you. You would be welcome to my table little sister.

    • Awe Id love to come for dinner! I started bawling in my cubicle, my boss was like, "whats wrong" I acted like I got something in my eye XD

    • I had to explain it to my wife. She's the daughter, sister and wife of veterans. Tears aren't common.

    • Thanks so much for your service as a soldier and father ❤

  • Alemon

    Do not tell him "be a man", show him how. With all of the dysfunction in modern day families, I think that one of the key things missing.

    • Wow, I had written a segment on that but deleted it because it was getting long, but this is def true.

      My dad is Korean so its dishonorable in his culture for a man to shank out on his kids. US culture is a bit diff, but maybe itd make for an interesting myTake

    • That's a good way to put it.

  • Phoenix98

    I like what I read it's nice to see the thoughts of someone and actually see someone a woman no less who not only appreciates but acknowledges what we go through.

    The funny and sad thing is now a days women want so badly to become men to be like us but they don't truly realize what it means to do what we do or how it feels.

    I've been working since I was 10 years old or younger, when other kids were playing in pools I was on my knee's on a hard concrete floor or in the intense summer heat cleaning and tearing apart appliances like dishwashers, cleaning mold some of which was black toxic mold which could give you cancer out of fridges and industrial freezers for 5$ a pop. I did it because even though I wanted an alliance I knew my folks couldn't really afford it and I knew I needed to get a job to learn responsibility for when I got older.

    The machine shop was fun, chemical burns, chemical fumes that made me sick and working 11 hour days on my feet but I did it for them.

    After that I started working to help my parents out because they needed and still need the money and here I am at my age still at home because I can't afford to move out or start my own family because every cent I make I try to give to them because I know how desperately they need it, all the while trying to help my father make his own dream a reality and learning what I can from him.

    I chuckle to myself whenever women say they want to be more like men or do what we do I say to myself they have no idea.

    I can't imagine a woman wanting to grow up like me in a ghetto, growing up poor, always in wondering if I'm gonna end up homeless and sacrificing everything even the prospect of having their own family, for their family that raised em.

    I work tirelessly for my family to help them anyway I can, often at the expense of myself, to the world I look like a loser because of my circumstances, but I do it knowing I am helping them out and that's what matters.

    So it's nice to see someone recognize that.

    • I imagine there are in fact women who grow up poor and in the ghetto and still do. In fact women before we realized the roles that men played equally as well, our only means of upward mobility was to exploit our sexuality.

  • BrianMerritt

    Wow, very interesting. You know, I'm not going to pretend that EVERY man out there deserves credit. Even in a "civilized" place like America, many boys are not properly taught what their job as a man of principle is.
    I have no battle scars or anything, but I try to live up to good principles.
    The good men that still know how to be good men, we don't ask for much. Hearing a thank you like this, it means a lot.

    • What is it to be a man of principle as opposed to a human who has principles?
      What makes a "good" man and how does that differ from what makes a good human being?

    • BrianMerritt

      @msmarystrawberry Well, contrary to popular belief, men and women are actually the same species. Men ARE human. So, your question doesn't have much of an answer.
      I think that men and women, because of our natures, do play a slightly different roles, and because of that, men and women are respected in different ways. I've heard it said that it's a man's duty to protect and a women's duty to nurture, because those are the gifts each sex has that the other doesn't as much. That makes sense to me, but most principles apply to everybody, no matter who they are.

  • msmarystrawberry

    You say women instinct to kill, steal , or humiliate themselves for their children's sustainability that is equal to men's instinct to maintain control and subliality. You compare a women's reaction to a still born baby to the anguish felt by men whose loved ones "cry out". Then you question why women are given custody of the children the majority of the time, at the same time indicating the impact children have on them?

    My mother too suffered from major depression, she held a gun to my father's head, she cheated on him, and my father did the majority of keeping the household running and raising me. If they would have divorced, I would have chosen to live with him. I remember because relatives asked me,"who would you pick to live with"? My mother did not always have depression, but I believe the stress of work, child rearing, home-maker, and looking your best at all times brought it on. Before the baby, me she was dutiful and the major contributor.

    My dad enjoyed raising me, he experienced a child hood that did not include poverty and an alcoholic, uninvolved father. He didn't have a role model to observe how to be a good man. I asked him how he developed such kindness and he told he knew what he didn't want to be.

    Sometimes I wonder what my father's life would have been like if he never married and had a family. What he would of pursued according to his individual interests. At the same time I do not deny that he benefited from providing for and raising me and ultimately sticking it out with my mother, whose depression did eventually improve.

  • RichardBandit

    Looks like someone got a college degree in bull shit

  • FatherJack

    " STANDING OVATION "... Like your dad , I'm ex military , former British Army and also many injuries... was a paratrooper / medic , on some serious pain relief and signed off work , after a fall down stairs. I dumped my ex wife as she was a lazy , fat , blaming & complaining machine , best thing I did !! Even after my 2 are independent , I intend to remain single , I have simply lost my desire to even date again... not bitterness , just too tired and stressed , plus as per your father , the same sleeping problems !! One positive side effect , is I don't really desire sex anymore... a male biological burden gone !!

  • mike5150

    Amazing article. There isn't really much I can add but this is probably one of the best thought out and written takes I have come across on here.

  • rockrewls

    Very Interesting...

  • Mi2mi2a

    Again beautiful myTake. Kudos to you

  • Anonymous

    My concern lies with the fact that all these young morons who have no children who would post that they'd be childless in every other opportunistic post on the internet are thanking you for somehow saving the world by existing.

    This is for a sliver of a sliver of men, if that, because to work until the bones protrude from the knuckles for anyone is not a common feat nor is it attributable to many who aren't simply parents or have a deep love of society and those men are rare. Those people are rare even.

    These youth are quick to play games with ideas that they have no right to even touch.

    • Anyone with such a lack of guts to have to post anonymously is the real moron.

    • Anonymous

      Any idiot who thinks that they aren't anonymous on the internet on any forum regardless of what their username is who then goes about talking about anonymity is... well an idiot. You know what I meant.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you. Thank you for writing and sharing this. In a time when women have been taught to not appreciate men, or to at least never let on when they do, this is so refreshing.

    I hope you know your dad is as lucky as you are.

    I suspect you know this but you are a very, very talented writer. I hope you use that gift, and your beautiful heart, to do good things in this world that is so desperately in need of more women like you.

    • Thank you for such kind words, I am very blessed to have my dad. I wish more womem would notice too.

      Men give a great love

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