The Psychology of Men Who Are Racially Black Having to Proclaim Their Refusal to Date "Black" Women

[RolandCuthbert]

If you meet a black male, who refuses to date "Black" women, it is time to run like the Road Runner.

I just want to reiterate. Interracial relations are cool. I have dated non-"Black" women myself. And if a black guy does not want to date "Black" women, I get it. But why do you have to constantly proclaim your preference? And on top of that insult the sexuality of "Black" women?

Well, I just wanted to get this "Take" out there. You guys know I am always pushing the boundaries and people's buttons but this has bothered me since I first arrived at GaG. And that is the number of "takes", "questions", etc. started by men who I guess racially define themselves as black, to exclaim their preference for "White" or non-"Black" women.

Having been a "Black" man who has dealt with issues of self-hatred, I want to explain to the people here at GaG how these issues work in the mind of a typical guy who has reached this conclusion. And also warn women who date black men.

Most "Black" women usually think the reasons why these men would be so adamant about their preferences has to do with some combination of the following;

1. Legacy of slavery contributed to African-American male idealization of white women as forbidden fruit and status symbols.
2. As slaves, black women were raped as the property of white men and have ongoing aversions of white men as a result.
3. Because black men have been oppressed by white men, black women are taught to have "stand by your man at all costs" loyalty to them.
4. Evolutionary mate selection theorists say height, hairiness, and larger penises are associated with greater masculinity. Petiteness and long hair are associated with femininity. Asian men are shorter and less hairy (on average) than black or white men. Black women have shorter natural hair and have slightly greater muscle and bone density (on average) than other women. So Asian men are viewed as less masculine than others and black women are viewed as less feminine than others. Black and Asian penis size myths are perpetuated even though they have been debunked in various scientific studies (link is external).
5. Stereotypes about Asian submissiveness and black aggressiveness fuel assumptions about what partners will be most "masculine" and "feminine", and who will be the bad boy and good girl.
6. White standards of beauty devalue black women and Asian men and our media embrace these standards.

This list while okay, really does not get to the psychology behind what "Black" men are thinking. Nor does it appear to be aware of what the society itself values for "Black" men. Most of GaG is full of young folks. So most of you do not know that the first dose of interracial relationships we ever see on screen involving "Black" people were films like "Guess Who is Coming to Dinner".

This was not the only film. Sidney Poitier also starred in another movie called "A Patch of Blue".

But there were films like "My baby is Black", "I Spit on your Graves", "One Potato, Two Potato", "Island in the Sun", etc.

Now let me put this in context. We are talking about films made almost 70 years ago. The first films about interracial relations involving African-Americans basically were about light-skinned "Black" women who married or had sex with "White" guys. Movies like "Pinky" or "Shadows". And of course before that all movies with interracial relations involved solely "White" men and Asian/American Indian women.

I use this to point out that long before we start talking about the internalized hatred that "Black" men have for their culture. There was already this view that the great goal of race relations would be achieved when "Black" men finally had the opportunity to marry a "White" woman. It is the way it was presented in every major film made in America that talked about race, back in the 60s/70s and into the 80s.

"White" women were supposed to be a crowning achievement not just for "Black" men but for the entire "Black" community. It was this symbol that all race relations problems were solved.

So it is from this foundation, we talk about the current psychology of "Black" men.

So taking apart the common consensus for why some men who are racially black need to make this proclamation, this is not due to the legacy of slavery. Nor does this have anything to do with "White" men having unfettered access to the "Black" women who were slaves. "Black" women may have some animus towards "White" men, but that still has nothing to with the psychology of "Black" men. The racial stereotypes listed are just nonsense. There isn't a single "White" or non-"Black" woman on GaG who would profess to liking "Black" men because of some mythology about our sexual prowess.

But beauty standards do come into play. And with that, I will start to explain exactly what is going through the minds of these men.

1. He has been told "White" women are the crowning achievement of his life constantly.

This should be the goal of every "Black" man. We have been told this in film after film, in the media, books, magazines, etc.

2. We are constantly told that having interracial sex/marriage is the best way to destroy racism.

The weird thing is that these men believe in the worst stereotypes about "Black" women and "Black" women's sexuality, but they actually believe they are the furthest thing from being racist, while embracing racism.

3. It is well known the negative stereotypes of "Black" culture(s) or more accurately African-descended cutlure(s).

These men need a way to absolve themselves of these negative behaviors/beliefs. Marrying a "White" women the quickest way to rid themselves of that negativity.

4. These men always think of themselves as "exceptions".

They are not like other "Black" people. The weird thing here is their definition of themselves and their "people". Because they are talking about behaviors and beliefs. Note the next point;

5. THEY ARE DEFINED BY RACE.

This is the most amazing thing about them. They are defined by race, yet they define other "Blacks" by the negative beliefs and behaviors they claim "Blacks" engage in. So in other words, they are just as insane as any KKK member, David Duke supporter or fruitcake "White" supremacist. They use the same belief system. They simply exempt themselves from it. "Black" negativity applies to all "Blacks" especially "Black" women, yet it somehow missed them. It is the same stupid conversation as to whether people are defined by the color of their skin or the culture that they participate in.

6. Their definition of themselves is tied up in the woman they are married to or intimate with.

And this is the most important part. Because these men are not confident in being "Black" since being "Black" is the most negative thing they can think of. The way they have any positive image of themselves comes from their mate who has to be "White" or at least not "Black". So when you. . .a non-"Black" woman is with them, you have to understand, you are carrying their insecurities wherever you go. That's why these men are prone to be more jealous than average men, more controlling, more insecure in their masculinity, since at least part of their sense of being a confident male comes from their ability to attract a non-"Black" mate. That's why when things go south, they are awful hard to get rid of. They tend to not be able to process the breakup like a normal male.

7. Of course, you are a trophy.

So if you are a non-"Black" woman, you can bet the first thing out of your "Black" male's partner's mouth to his friends and acquaintances is your race or ethnic group. They are very loud about it.

8. Which leads to their constant proclamations. "I am not attracted to "Black" women...

...even though I am "Black" and was raised by "Black" women, taught by "Black" women, and loved by "Black" women." "My girlfriend or wife is x race or ethnic group! So please see me as an acceptable human being." They make the proclamations because it matters very much to them. The fact that they have had sex or are in a relationship with a woman who is not "Black". If it didn't matter, they wouldn't utter a word. But when you have this negative racial definition, you are constantly looking for support and verification that you are okay. His non-"Black" woman is like his stamp of approval. It is like in the old days when people had to make sure they had proper identification on them at all times.

So he that's why he makes sure he mentions his non-"Black" woman wherever he goes. To make sure that people understand that he is an okay kind of a black guy.

So if you are going to date a "Black" man, make sure he is really "Black" and confident in his skin and in his culture. Because if he isn't you are going to be in for a truly miserable time.

Thanks for reading.

[fashionguy17]

I'm a black man as well. I actually grew up in a 98% white state, and all my past girlfriends were white, all my friends were white, all my teachers were white, all my classmates were white... you get the picture. If you actually did see black people, they never stayed long. If you saw black kids at school, they were usually adopted by white families. My family (all of us are black), were the only black family in our entire town.

Anyway... I moved to Texas in 2009. Since then, I have dated Latina women, Asian women and black women. I'm currently 27 years old, and I'm dating a black girl. I actually found that I am more attracted to black women than any other race. Would I still date other races? Yes! However, I prefer black women, and I am currently dating one.

I honestly don't mind interracial relationships. I always say date who makes you happy. It's the simple. Even though I don't interracial relationships, I DO MIND how people go about them.

Since living in Texas, I have met black women who only date white men because they say white men are better than black men, treat them better than black men and want more than just sex unlike black men.

Same with black men here. I have met black men here who say that they prefer white women because white women don't have attitudes, aren't after your money and know how to treat black men.

I also blame the media for those types of stereotypes, because on TV, when you see black people together, they are always arguing. However, when you see black/white couples together, it seems like the perfect union. Also, TV seems to really be pushing the black/white couple these days, which is kind of getting old. I don't mind seeing them, but it makes black/white couples seem perfect, and they are not always perfect.

As a black man who has dated all sorts of women, I can say that white women are not better than black women and black women are not better than white women. Race has nothing to do with how you will act in a relationship. Where and how you were raised determines how you act.

I respect interracial couples.. I just don't respect people who get into those relationships because they don't like their own race.

[fashionguy17]

The main issue with the black race is that we take a giant shit on each other everyday for everything. Even in my own personal experience, going deeper than what I have already said:

-i have met ghetto black women who work factory jobs and have 4 kids (online dating tends to give you the bottom of the barrel) that wanted to be with me, but I turned them down.

-On the flip side, I have met black women who are highly successful and only care about their career and achievement rather than dating and can be condensing at times... or they go after white men.

Some of my black male friends who are successful (future lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc...) have told me that is why they date white women. They told me that the white women they date are successful, loving, fun to be around, raise their man instead of putting him down and support him.

[RolandCuthbert]

We have talked before. I think we have had agreement. And I agree with most of what you said. I won't bother to point out small differences of opinion.

[cherryphi82]

A lot to process, and a lot of thoughts I have on this. I know we had this discussion and I see some of the things you are saying. But this is what gets me: If everything you're saying is true, I see an individual in dire need of help. It's like certain individuals, depending on their personal proclivities, once they are dubbed self-haters or anathema, neither the white nor the black community as a whole want to touch them with a ten foot pole. They are free floating with nowhere to go. I'm not saying people don't bear responsibility for themselves, but it seems like this kind of branding is not going to heal their hate, only stigmatize them more. I have talked to a quite a few black men. Some have had exactly the reasons you stated for dating white women, some made an exception for me because they actually prefer black women, and most of them were a mix of all of this. There's something that gets me about branding someone a self-hater and letting them to figure it all out for themselves. Only having a small experience with being in that position, I know how shitty it can be. If I as a person can make only the smallest amount of difference in the life of such a person, be it so that the initial reason for them going for me is my whiteness, I will do so. It doesn't mean I'm obtuse or ignoring the pitfalls. This is every individual's choice to deal with such a thing. But what I can freely say is that I'm willing to deal with another persons' ugliness/messiness if they are willing to deal with mine. If I'm not, then I'm only perpetuating the status quo which requires that a person has to be "the whole package" in order to be eligible at all. People are broken. I think Black men who are broken deserve to be forgiven and given a chance like anybody else.

[RolandCuthbert]

I have not forgotten you Cherry. You post will take some time to digest. I want to give you a response that is worthwhile.

Thank you.

[dothejohnwall97]

You are not 1 or the white girls on a black mans list. Keep your opinion to yourself who

[cherryphi82]

@dothejohnwall97 My experience would state otherwise.

[dothejohnwall97]

They must have had no other Choice

[cherryphi82]

@dothejohnwall97 Why do you feel the need to personally attack me?

[dothejohnwall97]

I’m not I just don’t like racism

[RolandCuthbert]

He is just trolling Cherry. Just ignore him.

[RolandCuthbert]

Cherry, you are an exceptional woman. Not an exceptional "White" woman. You are an exceptional woman period. You have an ability to understand different cultural contexts. You do so with grace and caring.

Let's talk truth. Of course, I went through periods in my life when I was attracted to "White" women. And when I projected positive behaviors and beliefs onto them. I did the same thing with Asian women for awhile.
Thank goodness I ran into some very bad Asian/"White" women. It helped me self-correct.

This brilliant perspective you have shared is the one in a million post. A person who has cultural baggage, admitting to it, owning it, and trying to move on with her life to find happiness.

I cannot judge you. I can only admire your ability to be truthful and honest.

Thank you for sharing this. And of course you know you will have the MHO.

Again just brilliant.

[dothejohnwall97]

Stop kissing ass , we are black no one will save us especially not “them”

[dothejohnwall97]

@RolandCuthbert you’re lucky your old and I respect my elder. I would have brown you down for being a shameless black man

[RolandCuthbert]

@cherryphi82 I had to block him. Can't have him defecating over this brilliant post you shared.

[cherryphi82]

Thanks, Roland.

[SeattlesSmoothJazz]

Roland, great post. I have never viewed dating in this prospective. I was born in Jacksonville Fl. 1962 and my birth certificate reads race (Colored)... Moving to Georgia as a small child living in a town where blacks live on one side and whites the other. My mother and godfather to me to treat everyone with respect. One day I asked my mother (If I dated a White Girl what would you do?) Her responds was (I don't care who you date, as long as you both are happy) My mother had a sense of humor.. said (Don't marry a ugly lady because she may scare you the next morning) Wow! I didn't see that coming... I also ask my godfather about dating ladies of other races. His responds ( When two people love each other, that's what's important. So why should others spent time worrying about their hearts) Nevertheless while in the Army I lived outside our country for 7 years allowing me to be able to date ladies from other countries. The experience was one of my most valuable life lessons.

[RolandCuthbert]

@SeattlesSmoothJazz That's the thing that is crazy about this conversation. These men automatically run to the defense of "well you are just against interracial relationships." Of course that is not the issue. These men profess dating choices that are exclusively non-"Black" women. And they do it under the cover that they are just pursuing happiness and fruitful relationships.

Call it what it is.

And I should be honest. Some do. They hate "Black" women and they fully admit it. I have a certain amount of respect for those guys. But for those who try to excuse or lie about their motivations, I just have disdain.

I hope that most "Black" people will get to a point where they can stop having so much hatred for "Black" culture, the "Black" experience and other "Black" people. But that will take a lot of work. And we won't be getting much help from the larger society. Only "we" can make this happen.

[VaIiant]

Ugh, ignore @dothejohnwall97 . I’m not sure if he’s a troll or just plain moronic, he always feels the need to personally attack women on GaG from what I’ve seen.

[Apope16]

As a black man there are several reasons why I have never had a relationship with a black woman.

1. Cultural: I am a black man but I grew up in an interracial family. Therefore, based purely on cultural ambiance, ways of communication, interests... I typically date and am attracted to white women.

2. Disrespect: I am an educated black man. I am polite and respectful. For whatever reason the black women I have met are not attracted to that. They want a "thug" and not a nice guy. As a matter of fact, the nicer you are as a black man the MORE DISRESPECT you get from black women. I have seen black women give me disrespect and attitude. Straight.

3. Stereotypes: Not all stereotypes are true. But some are. I live in a large city and I ride the city bus. I see black women slapping men, slapping their children, cussing at their children, yelling, getting into people's faces, screaming. I will NOT put up with that shit. I have seen soooo man black women be abuse to their men and their children. I date middle class white women because many of them deal with problems in a respectful and adult manner. With the girl I am with right now who is white we sit down and talk while cuddling. I can't stand the black women I see on the bus at 7am screaming in their cell phones about the gossip of the day. Its 7 in the morning!

I think that black women are beautiful just like any other. Believe it or not I have dated black women and I am friends with them. I do not reject someone I am attracted to based on race. But... are black women the first thing I see at a party or a club? NO. I instinctively go to the women who seem like they are brought up CLASSY and not negative all the time!

4. Its Sexy and Erotic: One last thing. Another reason why interracial relationships and sex have an appeal is because of the differences. The differences are sexy in the bedroom. The beauty of two completely different skin tones meshed as one. It more of a human evolution type of thing.

[RolandCuthbert]

1. That is totally understandable. You were raised in a different culture with different cultural norms. You don't find them attractive because your culture does not find "Blackness" attractive.

2. And now we enter the twilight zone. No, nothing you post here is true nor is it understandable. It is just the whole friendzone, nice guys finish last thing all over again. There are plenty of "Black" women who love, date, "Black" men who are smart and successful.

3. This is basically number two. I don't know why you separated them. In fact, 1, 2, 3. are all the same. Honestly, it made a whole lot of sense to just say you are not into "Black" cultural norms When you go racial, you lose me. There isn't any other way to put it. It is the same confusion all people who believe in race exhibit. Are you talking about culture or race? Do you know the difference? Are "Black" people bound by their beliefs/behaviors? Or by their skin color? Choose one.

4. That one is just plain weird.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

B. S. comment like this is why black people will always be behind. Just pathetic.

[Apope16]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy I was just being honest about how I have been treated. I have personally seen black women being physically and verbally abusive in public. I have been mistreated and disrespected. But when I grew up in the suburbs that would be considered unacceptable.

Anyway, no. Im not a thug but because im a nice guy I just get treated meanly. On the other hand, if you are nice to a white lady they will smile and say hello etc.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Boo hoo. White women are loud and disrespecful to their own husbands in public. Yes I have seen it with my own eyes.

White women represent the majority of hookers sucking d*** on camera for a dollar in the porn industry and fill strip clubs shaking their assess off for money and are drug junkies etc.

I mean your comment about how you can cuddle and talk to white women about your problems is asinine.

You don't believe out of millions of black men and women do the samething while laying in bed to slove problems? Smh

Roland exposes black men just like you in this article. You think white women are flawless and God's gift to mankind.

[wolfcat87]

Very articulate response, Apope16.

R. C... you rant on and on about black and blackness, then you yell at this man about not differentiating between race and culture. Pot calling the kettle black, sir. Apope got his point across just fine. You seem too blinded by your own preconceived notions to hear anything but applause for your own set opinions. Not a good sign in a person as it's a major personality flaw and inhibits intellectual growth.

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 No, he didn't get his point across just fine. And I explained exactly why. So if you disagree young madam. Please articulate a counterpoint. I don't know what you are talking about with race and culture. You seem confused about both.

In my takes and questions here about "Black"/African-Amercian people I have always talked of us as a culture. Though I know many of you are confused about the concept of race and what race really means.

Why Do People Constantly Confuse Race and Culture? This is One of the Reasons Why the Race Conversation is so Weird. ↗

cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...e-9d8a-c70843224b81.jpg

[Apope16]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy I don't know why you are so heated. I have never said that I wouldn't date a black woman. I have never said that I didn't find them attractive. I have gone on dates with black women and I have gone to several dances in high school with my black best friend as a date.

Listen closely to what I tell you buddy because you seem to not understand what I am saying.

THE REASON I HAVEN'T HAD A BLACK GIRLFRIEND IS BECAUSE THEY ARE BITCHY TO ME AND DON'T GIVE AN EDUCATED BROTHA A CHANCE.

[Apope16]

I am a man who is part Black and part Native American who has an interracial family of white folks... and you guys see fit to lecture me about culture?

[wolfcat87]

I know the difference between race and culture. XD Ask my Multicultural Education teacher right now who her star pupil is. If anyone understands race vs culture, it's the girl who has melded with many cultures and is of multiple races. You are barking up the wrong tree with that offense. You jump to assumptions far too often. You are reading both Apope16 and myself all wrong. It also appears that you have some men and their reasoning all wrong as well. As I said in my response to this mytake, much of what you have written is spot on. Some of it is waaay off the mark though.

[RolandCuthbert]

Yes, I will lecture you about culture. Because you are here telling me, a "Black" man, that the women of my culture are "bitchy" and won't give an educated brotha a chance.

It isn't just racist and disrespectful.

It is just a plain and simple lie, told by men who are nothing but liars.

This is the truth.

www.theroot.com/black-women-now-the-most-educated-group-in-us-1790855540

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, between 2009 and 2010, black women earned 68 percent of all associate degrees awarded to black students, as well as 66 percent of bachelor’s degrees, 71 percent of master’s degrees and 65 percent of all doctorates awarded to black students.

i.kinja-img.com/.../xcdamfzswc4sokvadkbn.jpg

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 No, you have no idea what culture is. And you seem very confuse about race. And you are defending a man who claims "Black" women are bitchy and don't like educated brothas.

I have never understood you since you started posting me. You have serious issues with the "Black" community. But don't seem to understand that most "Black" people like being "Black" or at the very least. . . are trying to like it.

But we are like most people on the planet. We seek to find pride in our culture and history, even if you cannot.

[wolfcat87]

You've got me all wrong again. You assume that choosing to behave in a way that you don't accept must mean others do not like or accept their blackness or their history...

That is not true. Well, for a select few crazies it probably is... lol. For most it's more of an issue of looking for a way to open up our world and expand our cultures and definition of who we are. If all of the blacks had stayed in Africa and chosen to stick with what they knew, we would not have all of the amazing diversity in human culture around the world. Positive change is not something to fear or hate any more than choosing to preserve a good life is something to fear or hate.

Nothing wrong with loving yourself. I never said otherwise. You keep assuming that me pointing out problems int he community means I hate black people... It does not mean that at all. It means people can do better.

Yes, my issues are with the negative parts of black culture, and I have issues with the negative parts of any culture.

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 This is a perfect exampled of just plain confusion. Your first sentence is unintelligible. Try again.

As for if "Blacks" had stayed in Africa. . ?

I say again. . . what?

It is absolute nonsense.

1. "Black" people are not a race. When I use the word "Black" I am referring specifically to African-American Culture and its participants.

2. Some Africans choose a the philosophy of pan-Africanism. I have a deep respect for the philosophy but I am not so naive as to pretend every person who has dark-skin believes in it.

3. Africans are not a single culture. They are collection of cultures. . . and your definition of diversity is off by a country mile. Africa is easily the continent with the greatest cultural diversity and sub-sahara Africa is among its most diverse region. Try reading a book on cultural anthropology.

4. So Africans don't have to worry about leaving their continent for cultural diversity. They already are diverse.

[wolfcat87]

Dunno how my responses ended up on the other thread, ha ha.

They won't say they prefer an uneducated man. Who would? Actions speak louder than words. You cannot keep using your one educated ex girlfriend to represent the millions of other black women in the country... It does not work that way. That's called an outlier. There are no fake men. Only men who are not you apparently. Your ex should have taught you about bias.

Also, you assume my IQ is lower. It's actually comparable. That's how I married a man who works on nuclear missiles, I was offered a job working in nuclear science for the navy but turned it down, I married into a family of engineers (helicopter, military drones, printers, etc.), my sister in laws are in science fields. One is a forestry biologist from Bulgaria, and the other works in biochem and pharmaceuticals. They are all pretty comparable to my IQ. The only person close to me much higher is an HIV scientist from China. He's a world expert on the subject now.

[wolfcat87]

I also dated an E. R. and OB/Gyn doctor from the Netherlands, a NASA rocket engineer, a man running his own architecture firm, another guy who works in nuclear missiles, a biochem student, an Air Traffic Controller, etc. I kept up with all of them just fine. So, my IQ is not small. Your ex is not a genius in my book. She's just acceptable. Geniuses are all dumb in some respects though. I have yet to meet one who didn't have a weak spot somewhere. That is because there are various forms of intelligence. Most highly intelligent people are up in a few areas and down in others. All of my brother in laws have me rolling my eyes when it comes to women. XD

So, can you please stop putting your ex on a pedestal? It's great that she's successful and smart. If she wants to join this convo, she's more than welcome. Exceptions to the rule are not the rule though, and I'm sure she'd agree.

[wolfcat87]

Ha ha ha, you're sincerely telling me that you cannot figure out my first sentence? Should I make a GAG question to see how many men around the world can figure out what "you've got me all wrong" means"? Even people who are ESL can figure that one out.

Now, you're really missing the points. My example was not saying blacks in the U. S. are blacks from Africa... I was using the example of how change can be good because had the Human Race stayed in Africa the world would be boring and stuck in one place with less diversity. That is why black men in the U. S. making changes from the typical black culture to something new is not bad or indicative of a lack of self love. Do you understand now?

No people are a race. That's a social construct. So, do you plan to have your cake and eat it too? Going on and on about race while throwing in PanAfricanism and black not being a race at the same time. African Americans are called black and are a social "race".

[wolfcat87]

Pan Africanism is a fairly idiotic concept. It's the same as mashing all white people together and assuming a white person from Norway would be very minimal to a white person from Kentucky. In fact, they have very little in common. That is why I reject this idea. Africa is HUGE, and the cultures are so diverse. Black people from outside of Africa cannot relate and have no real claim any more than whites in the U. S. do to Europe.

You are becoming quite annoying in constantly making assumptions. Your logic is severely flawed, and you refuse to read what people write without embellishing it in your mind. Very exhausting. I never said Africa was not diverse. Not once did I say this. Like most of your assumptions, you read something, chose to be offended, and added onto what the person say. Seems to be a persistent habit of yours. I said the rest of the world and its diversity would not exist had people stayed in Africa. Can you see the difference in this statement vs what you interpreted

[wolfcat87]

Clearly, Africans disagreed with you, because they did leave, they did populate the world, they did create far more diversity around the world. Stop spouting so much unsupported black power drivel and get a grip. Slap your hysterical self a few times if need be. Loving other cultures does not mean hating black or African culture. Stop taking everything as a personal attack. It shows extremely insecurity tat you persist in being offended by the most inoffensive things.

Also, I must address the article you wrote at Apope16. You need to read the words that you wrote about black women with degrees. The people who wrote that story did not. Most readers did not. It says:

"According to the National Center for Education Statistics, between 2009 and 2010, black women earned 68 percent of all associate degrees awarded to black students, as well as 66 percent of bachelor’s degrees, 71 percent of master’s degrees and 65 percent of all doctorates awarded to black students."

[wolfcat87]

They earn 68% of associate degrees awarded to BLACK students specifically... 66% of bachelors degrees, 71% of masters degrees, and 65% of doctorates of degrees awarded to BLACK students.

Not of all students. They are not the most educated in America. They simply earn more degrees than black males.

Only 32% of black people earn associates, 23% earn bachelors, and 8% earn anything past a bachelors. By comparison, non-Hispanic white numbers are (respectively); 47%, 36%, and 14%.
www.census.gov/.../p20-578.pdf

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 And what do you use? Again, have you dated a "Black" woman? Have you asked a "Black" woman out for a date? Have you gone to 100 "Black" Men events and met "Black" women?

I have lived among "Black" people my entire life. "Black" people who were "mixed" with "White", American Indian, or Asian. I have lived among "Blacks" who were rich, poor, or middle class. I have known "Black" Christians, muslims, etc. I have known "Black" scientists, college professors, etc.

And I don't care to explain my experience anymore to a person who has decided that somehow it is negative, uneducated, and ignorant.

I would as soon try to convince David Duke.

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 You IQ cannot possibly be all that big. The brightest among us know just how stupid and silly racism and racist stereotyping is.

woodmereartmuseum.org/.../...-mosley-photo_002.jpg

Albert Einstein and Black Americans

Einstein addressing students at Lincoln University, May 1946

“As for the Negroes this country still has a heavy debt to discharge for all the troubles and disabilities it has laid on the Negro's shoulders; for all that his fellow-citizens have done and to some extent are still doing to him. To the Negro and his wonderful songs and choirs we owe the finest contribution in the realm of art which America has so far given to the world. And this great gift we owe, not to those whose names are engraved on this ‘Wall of Fame’ but to children of the people, blossoming namelessly as the lilies of the field.”

[wolfcat87]

Albert Einstein. He is a prime example. Did he invent the cellphone? Did he invent chemotherapy? Did he invent the internet? Did he ever perform brain surgery? He did none of these things. Why not? He was a genius in a very narrow field of research. So, to hold people who are intelligent in one field up as the end all be all of some human culmination of all knowledge and every intelligence there is... is laughable. Intelligent people know this. We all have our limitations.

Again, you confuse quoting statistics as racism... Please, learn the difference before you hurt yourself with your denial of the facts of life. When even the majority of blacks are getting college 4 yr degrees and cease to hit their children, get back to me about stereotypes. Stats are not stereotypes, because they reflect exactly what is happening. They are simply records.

[wolfcat87]

Ha ha ha, I've dated blacks, I've lived among blacks, half of my family is black, and I am half black. So, to assume your life experiences are more valid than mine is just hilarious. Tell me, if black women value education in men so highly, then why are so many black children born from fathers who are less educated? As much "experience" as you claim to have, as much as you claim to know better, actions speak louder than words. No one makes any woman have babies with a man who did not go to college. So, why is it a norm? Why is it that men fresh out of prison are creating so many babies while educated men are having to look elsewhere for women to fill their wifely needs? Don't tell me it's not the truth. The vast majority of black children are raised in single parent home. The vast majority of black women never get married. These are stats and not stereotypes. These stats are hard facts. The only people controlling them are the people making these choices.

[wolfcat87]

Also, Einstein's view of blacks in 1945 has nothing to do with blacks in 2018... Seriously. That's like asking him about the Germans in 1946 vs Germans in 2018. Are they exactly the same? Is the culture the same?

Yes, you have known educated black people. What's strange is that you are so stuck on those very tiny percentages while ignoring the vast majority of the black population. You do the black community a disservice by dismissing so many of them as if they do not matter. An unsuccessful black person is just as important as a black person with a degree who is greatly successful. Do you think they matter less and are not worth discussing? Are you ashamed of a black man sitting in prison for selling drugs while the single mother of his children struggles along at home? Are you ashamed of the black people who never get a good education, who work and toil for what they can get, who never make it far? Are you ashamed of what "blackness" means today in the black community? Hmmm...

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 So you aren't just confused, you are crazy.

Albert Einstein is singlehandedly responsible for our understanding of modern day physics. He proved that light was a particle using a method called the photo electric effect. He created our whole understanding of gravity, he gave us the correct equations to use for calculating its effects. He created the theories that have lead to our ability to create nuclear power, our global positioning system, etc.

But his absolute greatest achievements, his theories relativity explain 99% of the observed phenomena we see in the universe.

Albert Einstein's contributions to humanity are not in question. But your sanity is.

www.famousscientists.org/.../

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 You don't even know how respond do a simple point. Are you a lesbian? You dated "Black" women? You had to talk to them, call them on the phone, introduce yourself, complement them, find things you had in common?

This is just a silly conversation. I stated something that is simple objective fact. I have dated "Black" women, so I have done all of these things. And I have not met one single "Black" woman rejecting me because I was educated.

To claim that "Black" women do not respect "brothas" with an education is a ridiculous, racist, weird, lie.

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 Your last post is the epitome of confused nuttiness. It doesn't even deserve a response. I am not here stereotyping "Black" women. You are. I am not here saying I cannot date a "Black" woman because she does not respect an education. You don't even date "Black" women. I am sure you have never approached one. Because you don't appear to be a lesbian and you claim that you are not a man.

I am a "Black" man. So I should know what it takes to get a "Black" woman. I was only married to one for 13 years. I have only dated and loved "Black" women my entire life. So I should know, right?

And why would I continue to date a group of women, who won't date me? I told you I have dated "Black" women of every background imaginable.

So take that crap about me stereotyping "Black" women or claiming poor "Black" women are undeserving and flush it down the toilet.

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 No, you didn't read the article. In fact, I don't think you can absorb objective information. The point of the study is to show that "Black" women enroll in higher education at higher rates than other groups.

The other thing that is striking but you somehow missed it. . .

"Black" women are way more educated than "Black" males.

So what was that nonsense that "Black" women are uneducated, loud, boisterous and ignorant about? What was that bull about them not valuing education or "Black" men who had an education?

The only people who urge me to go back to get an advanced degree are "Black" women.

I have a different goal. My goal is getting certifications for technology expertise. I think that is much more valuable.

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 You are just insane.

The last time I checked, most Africans lived in Africa.

images.gr-assets.com/.../3633228.gif

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 Most insanity!
Haha!

Pan-Africanism is an idiotic concept. But your concept of a "Black" race is not.

images.gr-assets.com/.../3633228.gif

[Apope16]

I never said black women are bitchy. As a brotha to a brotha read the title and be honest. It is asking why black men date outside their race. I am simply saying that the reason I date outside my race is because in my personal experience black women have been bitchy and rude to me and dont give me a chance. I have been respectful to the young black millenials I work with who are my age and instead the talk to the bad boys without an education. They dont want an educated gentleman.

Its not a description of all black women. Its a reflection on my own experiences. If you say hello and talk to a white woman they will be classy and talk to you. Connection is created.

At a state fair a brotha shouted, "Hey girl I like your thong!" The black chic turned and smiled at this stranger. This is what black women my age prefer. They dont want a classy man. They want sexual epithets.

[Apope16]

@wolfcat87 I think you got it right. You can't solve problems in the black community without stating they exist. What are we teaching young black daughters? Why aren't we teaching them what a respectable gentleman is? Instead you have brotha cat calling women about their booty, their pussy, their breasts and women smiling and giggling and dating grown children. Meanwhile, the educated black man is looking for a classy woman.. but he's not cat calling these ladies and so he's viewed as weak and not bad enough to protect them.

Many black women on the streets want a bad boy with his pants near his angles cuz he will protect her. Being polite, being classy, dressing preppy... none of that has any value or currency in the hood. The struggle is real. Life or death.

[RolandCuthbert]

@Apope16. . . I beg your pardon. This is what you said,

"Stereotypes: Not all stereotypes are true. But some are. I live in a large city and I ride the city bus. I see black women slapping men, slapping their children, cussing at their children, yelling, getting into people's faces, screaming. I will NOT put up with that shit. I have seen soooo man black women be abuse to their men and their children. I date middle class white women because many of them deal with problems in a respectful and adult manner.

I am not so silly to think that I can change your view. Racist stereotypes of "Black" people have endured for centuries. And to claim that these stereotypes have not affected most "Black" people in varying degrees would be silly. But wherever I see black men pushing this crap as truth, I will offer my views.

And I will offer something that is really objective.

www.independent.co.uk/.../...p-in-us-a7063361.html

[RolandCuthbert]

Exactly, you can't fix the problems of the "Black" community without stating they exist. So let me humor you for a second. . . .

Using your backwards logic. . . which gender has the most responsibility for the problems in the "Black" community. . . men. . . or women?



Black Women Students Far Outnumber Black Men at the Nation's Highest-Ranked Universities

The wide gender gap that prevails at all stages of African-American higher education extends to the student bodies at our nation's highest-ranked universities. But in most cases the gap is smaller than the national average.

JBHE has consistently documented the fact that black women hold a large lead over black men in almost every facet of higher education. Black women currently earn about two thirds of all African-American bachelor's degree awards, 70 percent of all master's degrees, and more than 60 percent of all doctorates. Black women also hold a majority of all African-American enrollments in law, medical, and dental school.

[RolandCuthbert]

And so using racist logic, why should any female. ."Black" women included, precede to date "Black" males? It would appear that one of the ways we can "fix" this misguided group is if women of all races stopped dating us.

Then "we", "Black" males would start going to school and getting an education. We would adopt the beliefs/behaviors that would make people see us as being worthwhile.

Since we are being all racial and racist. Let's follow insane crazed racist philosophy to a logical conclusion.

The trend should not be black men proclaiming that "Black" women are ugly, disrespectful and undesirable. It should be "Black" women saying they why reject "us".

[Apope16]

Thanks. Is repeating what I said somehow going to change my opinion? Thats exactly my point. In my experience stereotypes about black women were true based on how I have been treated. But that doesn't mean all women who are black. I've gone on dates with classy black women. My best friend in high scool was a classy black woman.

But these wear middle class black women.

Black millinial chics in the hood display classic stereotypical behavior. Every single day I ride the bus and I hear shouting, gossip, attitude, etc. I see it every day.

The issue really is not racial. It is based on education and class. Except the majority of women who are well educated and sweet have not been black. Very few women in my grad program were black... like 0%.

[RolandCuthbert]

You are not addressing objective facts. I just stated one.

"Two-thirds of all Bachelor certificates/degrees/diplomas in the "Black" community go to "Black" women."

So while you claim to have a real experience. How many "Black" women have just the opposite experience? How many run into "Black" men who as ignorant and vile as you claim the "Black" women you know are?

And can you tell me. . . why on earth would the women avoid proclaiming to everyone within earshot, that "Black" men are undesirable?

[Apope16]

One way we could fix it is by raising our children right. Why are they dating thugs? Why are they dating guys in jail? Why do they let their men call them hoe or bitch? Why are they letting men slap their ass thing its cool. Why are they smiling at men who make comments about their vulva on the bus? How old are you dude? You seem to have no clue what the new millinial generation of black women are seeking in their standard of men.

I hear and see these young men get chics with "damn girl, i like your lingerie!" Or "oh girl look at that booty! You fine girl. Let me put it in you".

Just look at chris brown! Look at jay z cheating on beyonce! Come on man!

[wolfcat87]

... You do realize that Africa is the birth place of all of humanity? There are only 1.216 billion people in Africa. there are over 7 billion people on the planet. Clearly, Africans did not stay in Africa. They left multiple times and populated the world. <3

I can't say much more here. I can see some serious reading comprehension issues combined with extreme bias and blindness to anything but one's own opinion. This conversation would go on forever and go nowhere at all. No point in wasting my breath.

If you want to believe that the tiny percent of black women out of the small percent of blacks that finish college somehow represent the other 80+% of black women, then you can feel free to keep giving blackness a bad name instead of really promoting what blackness means. Labeling the whole of the black population by a minority section is racism, and that makes you racist in insisting there are no issues and black women are all these magical, perfect, highly educated people. Most aren't

[RolandCuthbert]

Haha! Just look at your backwards insane racist logic. "They" are not dating thugs. Many "Black" women are going it alone. I encourage most "Black" women to include Asian men in their dating pool, since racist stereotyping affects them almost as much as it affects "Black" women.

And it is funny, you talk about "Black" women dating thugs, yet you don't comment on the "Black" men who are thugs? Why are they thugs? Where are the "Black" men in the community standing up, voicing to young "Black" men everywhere about what it means to be a "Black" man. Where are the "Black" men who mentor young "Black" males and tell them about our history and our culture?

Oh. . . they are dating "White" women and becoming as cultureless as possible. They are not "Black" in any sense of the word. Because in their estimation, being "Black" culturally is the worst thing they could imagine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iuMDi6jb50

LOLx100!!!

[RolandCuthbert]

@wolfcat87 Yep. . . everyone everywhere is an African now.

LOLx10!!!

Wolfcat, you shouldn't be here trying to debate race and culture. . . two subjects which you know little about. You should take your show on the road and just become a comedy act.

I recommend Vegas. You could go on before Penn and Teller!

[wolfcat87]

A lot of this is fairly accurate.

That being said... Numbers 4 and 5 on your first list are just plain wrong. Most of the world has never preferred larger penis sizes. Ancient Greece is an example. Large penis sizes were considered grotesque and malformed. The reason why the average male penis size is only barely 5 inches is because most of the world does not, and has never, preferred larger penises. Also, Asian men are not considered weak to anyone who is not racist... It was a really rude and racist sounding set of paragraphs to make.

Also, looking at number 2 on your second list, interracial children and marriages are an excellent fast track way to patch up racism. They've been helping quite a bit so far.

3,4, and 5 on the second list seem to be very skewed ways of viewing things. Many black stereotypes are not stereotypes so much as proven statistics. I don't see anything wrong with a black man trying to break the cycle that so many black people choose to remain in. Would you rather he keep things exactly as is? In the name of proving his blackness? If any person wants to jump ship and join a new culture, they have the right to. People have been doing it since the dawn of humanity. It doesn't make him racist or KKK. Really? Connecting walking away with white power hate groups that lynched and murdered people? Dramatic much? If that doesn't illustrate how biased and exaggerating this take is, I don't know what will. These comments make it hard to take the rest as seriously even when some of it is spot on.

... Unable to process a break up like a normal male? 3 billion males on this planet, and you think there's a set normal way to handle a break up? No, honey. I've dated jealous, insecure and controlling men in every color and from many countries. It's pretty normal male behavior. Confident people in general are not the rule either.

If people want to date a black man, it's for them to decide if he's the type of black man they want. It's not for you to decide what makes a "real" black man. This is just so petty.

[Anonymous]

This is grossly offensive. People have personal taste, and what they like, and what they don't like, visually, may divide down racial lines based more over what they view as aesthetically pleasing than out of some self-racial hate.
What we are attracted to is determined by several factors, but a primary one is simply exposure. The people around us tend to determine what phenotype we grow up desiring, and the people who stray from that tend to go for something "exotic" that reminds them of what they grew up around (classic example being white men attracted to light skinned black women, or black women with a body shape that one more associates with white women. There is enough different that it is exotic and exciting, and enough the same that the things we unconsciously look for, physically, in a sexual partner are still there).
Some people, obviously, are the opposite, and want as different as what they grew up around as possible, but that's a different story. My point is, none of us are designed to find all women of all types attractive. Even the idea of "I can find a woman from any race attractive," while true, still plays to my first point: they look for women in that group that have features close enough to what they are comfortable with, that the features that don't match up are just "exotic."

Many people, however, prefer their own group. This is because, growing up around them, they are what we are most used to and find most pleasing, as well as the fact that, culturally, there is no clash in the same group.
Well, sometimes you get someone from a different group who grows up around people who aren't like him. What then?
Then you get the same phenomenon. He finds himself culturally aligned with the group he grew up with, and his physical tastes matured while surrounded by people of that group, and so they are what he prefers.

A black guy I used to work with confessed to me that he did not find black women attractive, in general... and the ones who were exceptions, felt like they were from a different culture.
Why?
Because he grew up, the only black family, in a 98% white neighborhood. He had no cultural connection to black culture, and he grew up, and sexually matured, around white people, and so that is what he liked.

His culture was not defined by his skin, but by where and how he grew up. He didn't hate himself, or his skin. He didn't see himself as less. He simply understood, and desired, white women. Exclusively.

[RolandCuthbert]

This is hilarious. Threads and takes that talk about how "Black" women are unattractive, loud, obnoxious or ignorant are not offensive to you. But my take is.

So "Black" men who are here exclaiming their preferences for non-"Black" women do not seem to be following your rules.

And this take is certainly not about "Black" men who grew up in "White" neighborhoods. Again, I understand culture. A "Black" man in that situation has no connection to "Black" culture nor would he have a chance to view "Black" beauty as anything worthwhile.

But you didn't read the take. Try reading it.

[Opinion Owner]

Amusing how you assume to know what content I don't find offensive...

As for "this is not about 'black' men who..."?
Yes, it is.
You said "If you meet a black male, who refuses to date "Black" women, it is time to run like the Road Runner." That includes any black man, for any reason, who does not want any black woman, for any reason.

[RolandCuthbert]

Yes, I am assuming it because in all the threads where I defended "Black" women from these attacks, I don't recall you. But you have confronted me here. And it is always astonishing to see folks who defend negative racial stereotyping.

Nah, that last paragraph, you simply took out of context and came to your own conclusion.

[Blackpandagal]

I've had the misfortune of encountering these individuals through most of my life. It caused all lot of damage to my self image as a black woman. Took years to finally love myself. I had a Caucasian friend who only dated black guys who just happened to loudly refuse to date black women or hated them. Every dude she dated would beat on her.

I'm not saying every "black" male who refuses/hates his kind is like this but in my friend's case & couple of other people I know the men were beating on them. I know its just one of those weird coincidences I just kept hearing & witnessing in my life. Yet I tell her there are much better real black men out there, if that's what u prefer.

I won't lie when I met my boyfriend online who told me he had only dated causcsian women til me, I got worried. I had a tazer for his ass but he turned out to be sweetest thing u ever want to meet. He just never met a black girl who has all the same nerdish hobbies as him.

It was eye opening for me. I use to think all black men who only dated Caucasian women were self hating, or abusive. My boyfriend isn't like that & I know now a couple of other black men like him who r real sweet. There r those who have their preference, & everyone is free to mix it up but the ones who self hate & bash their people are some sick twisted individuals.

[RolandCuthbert]

Isn't it weird? "Black" men have these weird crazed racist stereotypes of the very women who raised them, loved them, and cherished them. I hear "Black" guys here talk about how "Black" women don't share our nerdy quirks, views or interests. Yet the greatest facebook thread known to mankind is "The Extraordinary Journey of a Black Nerd". It is filled with some of the most beautiful, weirdest, most wonderful, nerdiest, quirk "Black" women in the universe.

https://www.facebook.com/Planetejobn/

scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/.../...26300856_n.jpg

[RolandCuthbert]

Oooops! Sorry!

http://i41.tinypic.com/vy2i9y.jpg

[RolandCuthbert]

I just thought the sister dressing up like Spiderwoman was gorgeous!

[Blackpandagal]

Nice to see spiderwoman updated her outfit. I only remember her 1972 outfit. My mother bought me & my sister the vhs tape of it like, 16 years ago. In definitely following that facebook profile now. Thanks for showing me but yea I get "you play videogames like Devil May Cry!" I also read comics/manga, watch anime, buy figurines and I collect them to the point I have two bookshelves full of them and need a third in my room. They're always shocked, mostly cuz I'm a girl, sometimes because I'm a black girl.

[RolandCuthbert]

Yes, it is the greatest facebook group in the world.

There was a brother who did cosplay. . . went as a "Prince" PowerRanger.

LOLx10!!!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CrdEsMcXgAURMd3.jpg

[Anonymous]

Both black men and black women do this , blacks are the only race to put down each other while placing non black men and women on a pedestal, but you want to act like its only black men doing this, its both and side note MOST black men are with black women but just like black people y'all ZERO IN on the negative and never the positive like on YouTube Tommy Sotomayor bashes black women and gets hundreds of thousands of views but let a black man proclaim his love for black women and he hardly gets any views bottomline you LOOK/SEARCH for negative that's what you'll get

Here's some videos of black men proclaiming their love and respect for black women

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DlHK67I7mo

hthttps://www. youtube. com/watch? v=QV1ucmTI164tps://www. youtube. com/watch? v=wqyU_pc3Uw4

Look at the views, one would think with all of this focus and complaining about a few punks are saying online that these videos would go viral but they don't go viral I wonder why? Because black people AIN'T looking for positivity but negativity, I bet you won't do a MyTake on Black men like this.

[Opinion Owner]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QV1ucmTI164

[RolandCuthbert]

Well, I don't think these are just a few punks. And I am a "Black" male. I am not here trying to embarrass us. I think we need to deal with things head on. I think it is problematic for "Black" males because most of us who are dealing with self-hatred have no outlet for talking about our issues. We don't have Nina Simone or Halle Berry or Beyonce, etc. who talk very openly about their issues and struggles with their identity, culture, and "Blackness".

If we ever had "Black" men who did this, it was a long time ago. Guys like Sidney Poitier, etc. who talked about it in some detail. That does not exist as much today. . .

Well, save a few very brave and special kind of brothers.

My guy;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J-D86wfxiE&t=3s

Dude had me in tears.

[Opinion Owner]

We do, we have outlets like the YouTube channel Your Black World, the website Blaqspot , where you could've uploaded your own video discussing this with fellow blacks, this should be a discussion between black people not others besides black men , since this is a black issue so it should be discussed among blacks and solved among blacks besides black men aren't the only men who put other races of women on a pedestal white dudes worship Asian women especially foreign ones they always are saying how feminine they are and how they're better than Western women (aka white women from USA, Europe, Canada) putting down their women saying that feminism ruined them, they're overweight and so on but they hardly face any backlash and when they do, its mainly addressed in house not placed on display like black people always do smh. Also we live in a world where men are supposed to be this tough guy all the time and they can't talk about their problems openly without getting blasted as being

[Opinion Owner]

Soft and emotional. What I see is that when black men do give black women praise they don't get the attention that the sucker black men who talk down do. Tommy Sotomayor has made untold amounts of YouTube money from his videos and who helping him make this money? Black women why are they helping this fool by even giving him attention

[RolandCuthbert]

Maybe I was not clear. I am talking specifically about "Black" male cultural identity. There are very few outlets dedicated to this simple question. Can you think of a single film? I think I can count them on one hand.

ia.media-imdb.com/.../...QXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1_.jpg

The actual Antwone Fisher

st.depositphotos.com/.../...ne-fisher-and-wife.jpg

[RolandCuthbert]

My goodness. How did I screw that up.

Here is the film again;

dg7kra6zb39sn.cloudfront.net/.../...231addf511.jpg

[Opinion Owner]

Well we don't control Hollywood and the Black TV execs and directors like Tyler Perry, Oprah, Sholonda Rhimes Lee Daniels they all make movies and shows that show black couples being nasty and violent towards each other and depicting black men as violent thugs I don't watch or support anything they're associated with. And films aren't the only outlets for that that's why I mentioned those YouTube channels and other websites

[RolandCuthbert]

Tyler Perry does make some good movies. The majority are about women's issues. But sometimes, he does talk about the male perspective.

I don't blame Oprah and others for making films that speak their truths. I just think more "Black" males have to voice their issues and their perspective on their cultural identity.

[Opinion Owner]

Truths? More like stereotypical nonsense notice when blacks get awards for their movies its always for them playing a stereotypical role or making a stereotypical black film , they are never awarded when they do something positive or even truthful like slave films every slave film that has came out is fictional despite there being many true stories of actual slaves who fought back, in every slave movie in Hollywood there's always a pattern: submissive slaves, and a white hero. This is Danny Glover who was trying to put out a real true slave story about the Haitian revolution something I'm sure a lot of people especially black don't even have a clue about it happening
www.miamiherald.com/.../article1929662.html

[RolandCuthbert]

You seem to be all over the place. We live in America, why wouldn't you expect that financiers would not fund a movie with "Black" people being self-empowered and responsible for winning their own freedom?

You were previously talking about Octavia Spencer and Oprah Winfrey. I can't figure out what is your issue or what has gotten you upset. I am only saying "Black" men need to be more vocal about our specific issues with our cultural identity.

Gee whiz!

www.gstatic.com/.../p21990_p_v8_ab.jpg

[Opinion Owner]

I also didn't support Hidden Figures because the director admitted to putting fictional events in the movie because the film "needed" white heroes (I wonder if he would've admitted this right before the movie came out would the movie had the big first weekend sales it had) I also believe that Nate Parker's Birth of a Nation was sabotaged not because of the rape he was found not guilty of 16 years prior to the film coming out, but because the film didn't have a white hero in it. He said in a interview that a lot of Hollywood people especially black were telling him he wouldn't get the funding and he couldn't put out a movie like that (without white heroes) but he did blackamericaweb.com/.../

Here's Nate Parker's interview. Its a bit long so maybe you can copy the link and watch it when you have time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hMDO-7NZuM

[RolandCuthbert]

I don't think you are even trying to hear me. You have a different agenda. This isn't even close to what I am talking about in this take. Create your own take about "Black" media imagery and issues. I will participate.

And I promise I won't turn the discussion into one about the next Star Trek movie.

[Opinion Owner]

I know what you were saying I and I told you why black men aren't more vocal about that, because we live in a society where men are demonized for opening up about things w

[DizzyDesii]

Almost every black guy i met on here aside from Jdavid seems to never want to date a black woman. I always tell them i’ll never understand how you can't be attracted to your own. Like i get if you prefer to date outside of your race for good reasons but when they say they wouldn't date us cause we’re loud, gold diggers, heavyset, etc i have no respect for them. Not all of us black women are alike and i make it a point to stay away from any race who would NEVER date their own race, idgaf what race they are. Self-hatred is seriously crazy

[RolandCuthbert]

Yes little one, it is. And it is worse when they deny it. I don't think we could ever get these men to see that "Black" women are worthy, beautiful and vibrant. . . because I don't think we could ever get them to see their culture or history as something positive.

I just wanted to get this "take" out there because there is this mythology that interracial relationships are the answer to racism. How can they be if they reasons for the having the relationships are based upon racist stereotypes?

[DizzyDesii]

So even though you date outside your race, did you ever wanna date a black woman?

[RolandCuthbert]

I don't think you read my "take" little one.

I was married to a "Black" woman for 13 years.

Please read the "take". . . I put a lot of work into it.

[DizzyDesii]

I read up until #3 about black women feeling we should have our mans back. Then i skipped down to the bold number points u made. I have a headache (not from this) so yea

[RolandCuthbert]

Okay little one. When you get a chance, read it, think about it, then please tell me what you have concluded.

Thanks!

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

A+ bro.

The thing that I hate most about some black men which are in the minority is how they go on YouTube and create Facebook pages just to humiliate and embrass their own black sisters before the world with negative stereotypes which they themselves have but act like they don't as a means to distant themselves of black women and the black community.

Lastly, on your point of insecurity or lack of love of one self, you were so correct on that point.

Insecurity no matter how much one tries to hide it or brush it under the rug eventually will slip out and show it's ugly head destroying the person themself and the person they are with.

[RolandCuthbert]

HCG. . . these brothers are upset!

:D

[InDetail]

Well being in actual relationships simply don't appeal to masses any more , its more for sex and boredom, and most of it is as simple as the black women they've met there's something about them that they can't stand about them, especially the ones of their own generation, this applies to every woman but they've likely had the most exposure to black women being black themselves, and the grass always looks greener on the other side sub-conciously, and these men are too far gone to ever not expect certain things from a black woman, through media and overall exposure

[RolandCuthbert]

That is a very nice insightful comment.

[MrMAC777]

Well as a white guy, this was an interesting and valuable glimpse into this specific perspective. However, you barely touched on the behaviour aspect of the choice of partner. Almost every black woman I have met had VERY strong personalities. They are the boss usually. Hispanic women are tough, and still not as tough as black women. Are you certain that isn't why these men prefer to date other ethnic groups? Because that is the main reason I have never dated a black woman. I would like to hear your thoughts on that.

[RolandCuthbert]

I can't speak for the type of "Black" woman you have met. My ex did not have a strong personality. Her voice was as gentle as an angel's. Of course she could manipulate me because of that. She could make a sad face and speak in that voice and I would do anything she asked.

After that, I dated a mixed bag. One younger lady I dated for a couple of years was very gentle. One college professor I dated for six years was a boss.

But she was a scientist working for the U. S. government, what else was she going to be?

So no, I don't believe this is why "Black" men choose not to date or marry "Black" women. Men who date outside the community exclusively, do so because they have projected positive beliefs and behaviors onto "Black" women, and positive beliefs and behaviors on non-"Black" women.

And I submit, if you talk to these men, their dislike of the "Black" community goes far beyond "Black" women.

[MrMAC777]

Ok I get it, thanks. I am in Canada, and not in Toronto. So we are about 80-85% white in my city. Just to shed some light on my personal experience. Thanks for sharing.

[RolandCuthbert]

Oh, Canada has to be much different than America. I am very interested in this. You feel that "Black" Canadian women are strong willed?

Now I find that interesting.

[MrMAC777]

Well perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they are REALLY a minority, so perhaps there is a defensive/pride factor at play around here? I really can't say because I only have a few friends that aren't white. But I do know that you need to have some real swagger to approach a black woman as a white guy, and I always think that applies no matter where you are.

[RolandCuthbert]

Now I really wish to talk to more "Black" Canadians. Because their viewpoint always seemed different to me. When you talked before, I thought you were talking about African-Americans. That's why I was defensive.

But I can't speak for "Black" Canadians or how "Black" women are in Canada.

I read this article by this guy and found myself not being able to identify with it.

www.theguardian.com/.../i-hate-being-a-black-man

[MrMAC777]

Well I read the first half of that. I think that guy is focused on being accepted by society as a whole, and it bothers him having that empty seat beside him. Hopefully someone comes along and can give is an inside point of view, because I would be interested to know what the black community here feels, too. I'm obviously a poor source!

[RolandCuthbert]

That's why I don't identify with it. As a "Black" Canadian, I just thought he had a different perspective.

Since my awakening, I never looked to be accepted by the greater society. I just wanted the acceptance of other "Black" folks. . . just like any member of any other defined cultural group.

[MrMAC777]

I think he bought the acceptance Koolaid and isn't seeing the results. People still have reservations and it made him disappointed. But he should not resent who he is, that is a bit sad to me. As Liberal as we are up here, I think were still a long way from true unity.

[RolandCuthbert]

Yeah, I really wish we had some "Black" Canadians here. I would be interested in what they would actually say about that article.

[MrMAC777]

We will have to wait see who trolls along. Nice chatting with you Roland 👍

[vishna]

Well thought out MyTake, how it will be received in this environment...
I know some black guys who only date white women, and I agree with the stamp of approval as basically the broad gist of it..
Again, anyone who says x people aren't attractive to them, I don't get it. Everyone has different features and personalities, even the skin color is different with a group. So, it really is just singling out x group for whatever reason and deciding they're all not dateable which is lowkey racism.
Also, have you seen this study that just came out, it's particularly about black men in America.
www.nytimes.com/.../...ss-white-and-black-men.html

[RolandCuthbert]

Yeah, but we all know why. And I was trying to explain to this ultra-ignorant black male earlier in this thread. We all know that "Black" men have to stand up in our communities and be more vocal, be better leaders and better role models.

The problem is we all want to be individuals too. Many of us hate that burden of being "Black". It is heavy. Being "Black", especially a "Black" male is too tough. The community asks too much.

But ignoramus black guy started screaming at me about individuality and his personal decision blah, blah, blah.

I was only saying as you have pointed out. We have a big problem with "Black" males. And all the tools for solving it are in our reach.

Either we will fix it or we won't. But if we don't fix it, it is no one else's fault.

[Nexovous]

It is a burden because you let it be. Secondly you assume my race which makes you the ignorant one. You state i am ignorant due to my outlook not matching yours. That's simply naive, not to mention it isn't a burden. You were born black, great! I was born white, i grew up in the hood too and i was surrounded by black people it was a miracle if i saw a single white person at school. Do not assume your privileged life grants you the ability to talk in an elevated manner on issues you are still so biave to not to mention at your age. Given your pathetic display of pushy behavior i would guarantee you i had to tread through more shit and dead bodies then you would ever dream of doing. Do not for a second consider me ignorant. You are weak minded, that is why growing up black was tough. You allowed yourself to be the way you are. Black, white, Asian, rusian, it doesn't fucken matter. It doesn't determine your difficulty in life.

[vishna]

I don't buy the individuality/personal choice argument either, not when discarding the ethnic group that raised someone...

[vishna]

@Nexovous whoaaaa, please don't start an argument on my thread (which I will receive notifications for)

[RolandCuthbert]

@vishna And I understand view. I understand them both. I just don't understand irrational positions or illogical ones.

There is a view that "Black" people must do the things as a group that enables their group success. That is as plain as the nose on your face. But it is hard. It is hard being "Black" to deny that is to deny that you need air to breathe. The issue that many people do not like the trials of being "Black". You feel like you have to sacrifice yourself. For two years solid, I worked on a "Black" professionals meetup group. I had to schedule meetings once a week. I didn't not get paid and I was responsible for networking different "Black" businesses together in hopes of fostering greater cooperation between these different firms. I did technology consulting for free, gave away my own computer equipment.

It sucked!

But I felt I had a duty. And this is a question we all have to ask ourselves. What amount of responsibility do we have to each other?

[RolandCuthbert]

@Nexovous I think the most revealing thing about your post is that you think I am pushy.
Yes, I thought you were black. I thought you were the same. . . well black guy who started a thread a week ago talking about how ugly he thought "Black" women were. Because you posted the same drivel about "Black" people blaming "Whites" in the same situation.

Which was a conversation about "Black" people asking themselves about self-hatred. . . you introduce the "White" people who feel left out and who have hurt feelings.

It that wasn't so pathetic, it would be hilarious!

:D

[Nexovous]

Ah, i understand your reasoning. My apologies.

[vishna]

It sounds hard, I can't imagine what it's like to give a service for free and put time and energy into something you get no monetary gain from. It's great though, that's a wonderful service you did to better a community though, if anything you deserve applause for that.

[Nexovous]

I don't like to tell people about my life. He considerably brought issues from my response thread over to hear to tate me as a "Ultra-Ignorant black male". Otherwise, i wouldn't have said anything.

[RolandCuthbert]

@Nexovous Well you can go ahead and admit that you have pretended to be "Black" on GaG before.

[Anonymous]

Well said. I’ve noticed more and more these days that a lot of black men are with nonblack women. I see it in person and in the media (films, commercials, advertisements, etc). I can relate to these men because I am a black woman who secretly prefers nonblack men and seem to have very few black friends. With the exception of this comment, I don’t go around announcing this or go out of my way to degrade blacks - especially black men. However, it doesn’t change that I struggle with self-hate and insecurities related to my blackness. I am well aware and working on this.

[RolandCuthbert]

Wow, even as you are anonymous, that is a courageous statement. It takes a lot to admit that. I remember reading the book Reservation Blues. And I quote;

"You cannot be an American Indian unless you went through a time when you did not want to be an American Indian."

I think "Black" people like to pretend that it does not take courage and strength to lay claim to the African-American identity. Of course, that is not true. When you are "Black" and you strongly identify with your culture, you are constantly under attack. It is just the way it is. For those who see that and want no part of that, I get it.

I wish you good luck. I hope you find true love. As for your journey in finding pride and love for your own cultural experience/history. That is going to be difficult. There isn't much out there that can provide that. You have to look for it. Perhaps that is something that comes easier with age.

[coralee]

Interesting take. I think people who ONLY date within a certain racial group are missing out. But that also goes for people who only date outside their racial group. There are smart, attractive, great people in all races why anyone would willingly miss out on that is beyond me. I prefer brown hair that doesn't mean I'll never date a blond.

[RolandCuthbert]

But that is the thing. How can you grow up in a community, being raised by "Black" women, taught by them, loved by them, to come to the conclusion that they are undesirable as mates?

I can understand if that person did not see people of the opposite gender outside of their community as desirable. And madam, I am talking about culture. Not "race".

We know that certain communities put a lot of pressure on their young people to marry within their culture. I know an Arab gentlemen who had to deal with his family and arranged marriages. He married a "Black" woman. But he had to deal with this tremendous pressure from his family.

It isn't right. But it isn't wrong. It is just a human thing.

Have you seen Kumail's movie?

It deals with this issue in a very respectful, loving, caring, and funny way.

pisces.bbystatic.com/.../6012710_sa.jpg

His actual wife.

pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/.../...premiere.jpg

[coralee]

I don't really understand it either. I'm not saying that people have to date outside their community. There are lots of reasons why someone would want to stay within their own culture. Shared religion, understanding, culture and interests are all valid reasons for forming a romantic relationship. And if those things are important to you of course you are going to be primarily interested in those who share those things. I'm just against people claiming that only one group is "attractive". I think people across all spectrums can be attractive, great people.

[RolandCuthbert]

Understood. My take was just to address this phenomenon of these men who just have to let everyone know.

https://j.gifs.com/98B6wD.gif

[Queenbeast22]

Ohmigosh I live way too close to this. My mentality is if a guy asks me out to a safe public date, I don't care where he is from, I will go out with him at least once if he shows respect to me.
I hate the stereotypes that black women are "crazy bitches" because AHEM I KNOW PLENTY CRAZIER BLONDES (as an example). Give people a chance and let their behavior make the decision.

[RolandCuthbert]

Thank you very much for this comment.

[WitchsLove]

Thanks for finally clarifying this. Of course people can have their preferences. But I always feel a bit put out when a guy says that he is interested in dating only white women. I feel as though they are seeing the clour of the skin as some kind of "trophy" as you put it. We are not people, but trophies to them.

Of course not everyone is like this. I am just saying I sometimes feel that may be the case when I hear that.

I can't understand how someone would not be open to dating someone of their own race.

[I_Do_Mind]

I have never seen this behavior and I have to disagree with a majority of this, unless the people you speak of see race as a thing, my family could careless, they just see a person as a person, you are only as special as your personality is. Intelligence is the one thing we may admire beyond the norm.

[RolandCuthbert]

Uhm. . . you can disagree. But this has happened on this very board. Several times. And you will never see this type of self-hatred among "White" people.

Why do black women bash us cuz we love white women? ↗

Why are a lot of black women bitter about black men dating out of their race? ↗

Is the real reason so many black men are dating/marrying outside of their race because not enough black women want to get married? ↗

Why do so many black men and women hate each other? My theory? ↗

Why do a lot of black girls hate us black men and white people so much? ↗

Why does it seem as if black guys only go for white women? ↗

Why are black girls so much more racist than other races of women? ↗

[I_Do_Mind]

If the races and family background of these individuals were listed this would not smell of potential bias and personal insecurities implanted by various people instead of factual evidence or first hand experience.

[RolandCuthbert]

Well, this is something well-documented in psychological circles. Most non-"White" people in America deal with issues of seeing their culture or group in varying degrees of negativity. "Black" people chief among them.

Who else do I need to convince?

"I don't so I can't judge, only on RARE occasions when a guy my race shows himself to be super sweet will I date him. "

[I_Do_Mind]

I'm not convinced until I see some sources.

[RolandCuthbert]

I know you need sources.

You don't consider yourself a good source.

I can't help that.

[VonDamme]

So, because your family doesn't do it... it's not happening?

[RolandCuthbert]

@VonDamme She did it herself. I posted that quote.

It is from her.

[Nexovous]

Lol-"If the races and family background of these individuals were listed this would not smell of potential bias and personal insecurities implanted by various people instead of factual evidence or first hand experience." I implied the same thing in a more aggressive manner as it annoyed the hell out of me.

[RolandCuthbert]

@Nexovous Here is someone you can talk to;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngmEeGP0pYE&t=92s

[MysteriousDarkness]

@RolandCuthbert I have seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears white people doing this.

[Nexovous]

@MysteriousDarkness He's to engulfed in the issues of "black" individuals he doesn't see that almost everyone around him regardless of race goes through the same shit.

[RolandCuthbert]

@MysteriousDarkness Then you need to create a "take". Because I have never heard or seen any "White" person doubt their culture, claim the members of the opposite sex in their culture are ugly., etc., etc.

And that is for as long as I have been on this earth.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@RolandCuthbert I am not going to do a mytake on it.

[monkeynutts]

Yeah I hate some white bitches, it's not that they are white, really it's just because their bitches.

[TomasLyy]

Haha they're missing out. I've heard about this though. About how black hookers complain about black men not wanting them.
I see it differnetly though. I met this girl once her parents was from The Gambia and she was a beautiful creature god blessed this world when he gave us her (I don't really believe in god, but that's how amazing she was). You know nakia from black panther? she looked a lot like her except her eyes were bigger and she had beautiful braids and amazing lips. I wish she had loved me as much as I loved her, but ironically she had a thing for a white guy, and I couldn't trust her anymore.

I like blacks/latinas the most, but then again i love white chicks, koreans, afghans, everything. niggas love every type of snatch LMAO

[Nexovous]

I honestly didn't read it all and i have to adress real life problems right now though i did want to remark on my opinion of the first few lines. There's nothing wrong with wanting to date only a specific color or race i suppose though i do agree that feeling the need to consistently proclaim it like it's a new verse of the gospel is just ridiculous and frankly a personal issue for anyone who feels the need to do so. I personally have no issue with dating a black woman though i find myself to be much more picky when it comes to physical attraction though i love the attitude they can have and seek it sometimes as it is a challenge and can keep things fun and interesting because i'm rather cunning and always have a sly remark to play around with. These are preferences and that said i haven't actually been on a dating basis with one though i love to have them as friends or accomplices for days out.

[RolandCuthbert]

And this is the question for you young folks. What happens when you have a daughter?

I am only using you as an example. So a man who happens to have dark skin, proclaims that he can only date the women who do not look like him. He only dates women he considers not to be black. Then he marries the most nordic looking woman he possibly can.

What happens if he has a daughter?

It is a well-documented that a little girl's first crush is her father. And the example of her father sets, weighs heavily in terms of the types of men she will engage as she grows older.

www.fathers.com/.../

fathers.com/.../...ghter-First-Hero-First-Love.jpg

And I get it. A lot of "Black" people especially "Black" men do not like this burden. I don't have any issues with folks understanding the issues within the "Black" community and saying they want to give up and just live for themselves. I can't challenge your choices. But let's at least be honest about the issues.

[Nexovous]

I seem to lack what exactly your point is here. Any logical thought process would imply that you are reaching for a specific reason that only matches your ideal on the subject. That would be a rather naive thought process to possess.

To start off though, young doesn't imply stupid rather inexperienced. Inexperience has never stopped anyone from gaining experience. That said, i may not have ever raised or had a child of my own and more specifically a girl. That doesn't mean i haven't had any experience raising a child not my own. That said, experience can always translate and the study you presented via a internet link is rather inadequate consider the context in which it was displayed. If i were to have a girl and i held these ideals of what i sought in a woman then it would be a personal issue if my "daughter" was interested in a black man. I don't see why i should be perturbed to know my daughter may marry or seek a black man is simply naive.

[Nexovous]

Like i said it's a personal issue so your daughter should not be burdened with such an issue simply because you possess it. In my opinion i would tell the person in question to deal with it. If you really love the "daughter" you had then you would allow her to have her own views regardless of what you may want. To instill the point, i would say to suck it up and accept the consequences of your actions as you're the one who chose to lead such a life. You shall also be the one to burden and thoughts and not enforce them onto your "daughter". This entire article and questioning in all honesty is rather immature in my opinion. I may be young and inexperienced in the given scenario though i still find it to be a rather self explanatory issue. All it would be is a personal issue you should address. If this is literally the bane of your existence then it's rather pathetic. I don't appreciate you trying to push a point on me so i warn you now. Do not do it again.

[RolandCuthbert]

I am not even sure what you meant by the first couple of sentences. Were you offended? Don't be. I was young once.

And I think you totally missed the point. You seemed to have taken something personally that was not meant for you personally. And I am not good with people who are easily offended.

The point was that if you project disapproval towards the women of your culture, then if you should have a daughter who chooses to become a member of that culture, she could grow up having serious esteem and identity issues.

Not that I am saying everyone should think about duty towards their community. Some people just don't. And I can't blame them for their choices.

Being "Black" is a tough. It is a lot tougher than being a member of other communities. It is a wonder that "Black" people have any positive thoughts on their culture or history at all.

[RolandCuthbert]

I just want to make sure that you understand me fully. I don't give a damn about what you think I was trying to push or where I was trying to push it. And I want to make perfectly clear, if you think I was trying to offend you, then please think of the most offensive thing I could have said and then pretend I said it. So take that threat and stick it up your A.

You came to my "take", son. I didn't seek you out.

[Nexovous]

Offended i not the proper wording. Annoyed is more so the right wording. You're entire article is just ignorant all together. "Duty to community", "upbringing", "Esteem issues" etc. You seem to ask or imply these things in the utmost passive aggressive manner i find it personally annoying. If you plan to assert a point then do so, don't simply state both angles of said point then imply your position in a very light manner.
As far as missing your point goes i already stated i was rather confused on what you were implying. Also, you say " You seemed to have taken something personally that was not meant for you personally" though you said prior-"I am only using you as an example" so that would imply that i was meant to be targeted with said question. " I am not good with people who are easily offended" now that's just pathetic, that implies that you aren't good with confrontation. Given your passive aggressive manner it would affirm that implication.

[Nexovous]

As far as "The point was that if you project disapproval towards the women of your culture, then if you should have a daughter who chooses to become a member of that culture, she could grow up having serious esteem and identity issues. " goes... I would say this is just utterly overthought. Sure the fact you took the time to think of such a thing is great though the thought is rather naive as i have mentioned prior. If you didn't project your ideals so heavily then i would assume that she would be just fine. That said it's something you should ensure to avoid prior rather then what if. I don't understand how this is such a big issue given how it could easily be avoided. Now just because a girl would be to grow up with a father that disapproves of a given "culture" regardless of his openness wouldn't determine or rather guarantee her own thought process on the community to exact the same measure.

[RolandCuthbert]

I don't care if you rather use the term goofy. I just want to make absolutely certain that you know how uncaring I am of all this silly nonsense you are typing. My point has been made. If you think you have the intellect to rebut, then do so.

If not, you can sit there and continue whining about my mean words and your hurt feelings.

I will file your complaint where it belongs, in the trash.

Good day, sir.

[GerrenT]

Your so on point. I sat reading and began to get a glimpse into the mind of this man and it’s sad. He’s gonna have something smart to say back to every point you make so good luck.💯

[GerrenT]

Gettem!!!

[Nexovous]

@GerrenT Are you all the same? To put this simply you overthink something that can be easily avoided if you were to lead your life differently or avoid objecting the said daughter to your ideals. All this sound like is a pity party for the said person that would have otherwise chose to live his life this way. All this post states is your passive aggressive disapproval of the choices someone in the said circumstances would be. I am harshly disagreeing and that's as simple as it gets. You state that black lives are harder than any other color or race and that's more than reputable given so many other variables that the individual could possess. It's simply selfish and pathetic to imply that a black man or woman have a harder life than all other living beings. In fact i find it annoying and pathetic. I have plenty of black colleges and friends and each and every one have my utmost respect for the way they hold themselves not by the color of their skin.

[RolandCuthbert]

@GerrenT Man, I tried. I don't know why he stepped to me like that.

[Nexovous]

@GerrenT Call me racists if you must though it will not change my views. I don't care if you're black, blue, purple or martian and even any other race or species. Sure, the black people were enslaved and even suppressed. So were many other races during the time we've been on earth and that includes the white people my friend. Though that said i refuse to take the blame for what a white man decided to do before me. If you want to blame the white race and throw a pity party as well as harm individuals simply because they are white i would be more than happy to put you in your place. The world now isn't the world in which your race was harmed. To take on the fact that blacks were enslaved and harmed in the past and try to exact some kind of political or physical revenge is just pathetic considering the circumstances. It's like if my neighbors father killed my father so i decide to take on his death and kill his son. It solves absolutely nothing and is unjustifiable.

[Nexovous]

LMAO, i stepped to no one. You came to me with trying to enforce your point. I had previously stated that i had yet to read your entire article and had important issues to deal with at the time so i would simply state my opinion based off of what i had read prior. You brought any further response based on your continuam. I reacted in the way i thought was necessary, you got what you asked for. It simply wasn't what you wanted. Once again, you deny me or my outlooks because they do not match your own. The thing is i don't jut like what the world likes because the world likes it. An opinion i just that, it's my personal outlook or preference towards something and i am under no obligation to form it to your ideal for your own benefit.

[RolandCuthbert]

And this is your problem. You are insane. A message about "Black" self-empowerment, "Black" self-hatred, "Black" self-love is always about "White" people.

It is like David Duke joined the conversation and is wondering why "Black" people didn't notice his entrance into the room.

Maybe, just maybe some things have nothing to do with "White" people. So go get your "White" trophy, marry her, and put her on the mantle to your fireplace.

The psychology of these guys is really fascinating @GerrenT.

You can't tell me we won't be reading this guy's story on the news in five years.

Non-"Black" women, you have been warned.

[Nexovous]

You just now empowered my statement on the comment you made below. You're weak minded, you allow yourself to think this way. If you want to know how "privileged" i was then by all means scroll down and look at my response to your brash comment on the young ladies response to your post. You are lost in your own respite and it's pathetic as i've said several times. You don't get anywhere in life by just saying you have it bad. Like i mentioned, i grew up in the hood myself, you assumed i was black which i corrected and told you i am white. I rarely saw a white man in my city so i don't see how you can tell me i'm a privileged white boy. I was homeless for more of my childhood then i was with a home. I am 20 and everything i have was worked for i grinded my ass off. I got where i was from nowhere. I worked a job for no pay three months in a row so i would have the trade skill knowledge otherwise only given in college courses.

[Nexovous]

I make 73.16k a year with tax deducted. I'm 20y old and making money to have things i never knew even existed when i was younger. I have no debt because i didn't go to college, by the time i'm 23 i'll have the money to pay for my entire first 4 years up front. I didn't get this because it fell into my white privilege lap buddy. I worked my ass off every day because i wanted more, i wanted what i never had before. I wanted to get someone else then were i was so bad i couldn't even sleep some nights, all i wanted to do was work so i could have more money. I worked so hard i forgot to eat, sleep, or hell even have my own time to myself. I work two full time jobs and haven't stopped for anyone or anything. To think someone with broken ideals come to me and implies life is hard because of his color disgust me. You're a pathetic human being with no hope because you don't allow yourself to be simply because of your week mind. One thing i will not stand for is for you to assert me as lesser.

[RolandCuthbert]

Dude, you just post drivel. I am pretty certain you pretended to be a "Black" guy in at least one of these questions that was posted. Your writing style is too familiar.

This has to be you. You basically posted the same nonsensical thing in this thread.

Why are a lot of black women bitter about black men dating out of their race? ↗

[RolandCuthbert]

Haha! You don't make jack. You are a racist insane freakshow. This has nothing to do with what your personal accomplishments are. Racist do not have respect for individuals, otherwise they would not be racists.

Racists collect people into giant groups, trap them in those categories and they rank the groups according to their insane racist rules.

So quit pretending your pitiful imaginary salary has anything to do with what you think of a person's worth.

That is determined for you the same way it is determined for every fruitcake racist. . . by your race.

[Nexovous]

So, an anonymous poster posted that and you're implying that i posted it because he's telling you anything equivalent in some degree as me? That's just ridiculous. I don't see how my opinions and statements match up in any way. Also, i never once said i was black. that's what quotations are for. I implied if i were black and in the given circumstances i would have no one to blame but myself. Not to mention you aserted the same bull shit in a comment in that thread. Why has this topic alone caused you so much of a personal issue?

[Nexovous]

"Racists collect people into giant groups, trap them in those categories and they rank the groups according to their insane racist rules."

You do realise racism means the ideal of the empowerment of one racial group over another? That sounds more in the nature of a clique pal. You can call my personal accomplishments imaginary all you want. The facts still holds true that you are throwing yourself under the bus every time you say being "black" makes life harder.

[RolandCuthbert]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngmEeGP0pYE&t=276s

[Nexovous]

Lol, you haven't won your side or pushed me to agree with your ideal. So now you are just ignoring me and giving me shit. That's cute, it also proves my point of having a weak mind. Congratulations.

[RolandCuthbert]

You seem to thrive off attention. We are going to talk about things of substance in this take. So be proud that you will be the first and only person that I block.

[SirRexington]

Wow that's a lot to read. I read through most and skimmed through some.

I think I can simplify why black men who choose to date outside their race choose to do so. This is from what I've been told by nearly every black guy I know who prefers white women. These may not and probably don't apply to all.

1: They are not a fan of the culture predominantly associated with black people.

2: Black women are too much to handle and apparently are too much work.

3: White girls are just prettier on average.

4: "Cause I can, what you don't want me dating white girls? You afraid we gone steal them away from you?

[RolandCuthbert]

But this take isn't simply talking about why certain "Black" men choose to date out exclusively. Why do they feel the need to shame "Black" women in public. How many times have "Black" women created a "take" to tell everyone about their dating choices?

[SirRexington]

I don't think explaining your preferences about anything to people you are talking to is really shaming. It's an opinion that does not coincide with yours or whoevers. I myself prefer White girls and I'm not afraid to say it. I have no reason to be, it's a harmless opinion. Then again I wouldn't refuse to date anyone simply based on their skin color alone... I don't know man. Maybe it's just something we have to accept. Just a another small group of stupid people who have a small minded range of beliefs like racists and religious people.

[RolandCuthbert]

I don't think it is a harmless opinion. But that's my perspective.

It you met a woman who said she did not think date "Black" guys because she thought they were ugly. You probably would tell me it wouldn't bother you. But if the vast majority of women you met voiced that same opinion, I doubt you would claim it to be harmless.

And thing is, we are not women. We are men. So we don't have these issues of beauty, body acceptance, etc. going. So let's stop pretending that "Black" female beauty is some socially accepted norm in the U. S. It just isn't. And when you get "Black" men taking to social media like this, on youtube, in public claiming how much they dislike "Black" women, it becomes a problem.

I can't convince a "Black" man that he should include "Black" women among his dating options. Or at the very least not publicly shame them.

But I can share my own opinion on social media as a rebuttal.

[SirRexington]

Yes you can post your opinion about this subject or any subject on social media. And you should have no reason not to. I see where you are coming from but I also know what's it's like to not be the preferred person people go after when looking for love. It sucks and makes you feel alone but one day, there will be someone who I meet that loves me for who I am. Hopefully. As for these women apparently suffering because black people aren't dating them anymore, well that's just not the case. Every race overwhelmingly dates within their own race with the exception of a few thousand members of it. A few thousand sounds a lot but it's really not.

[RolandCuthbert]

It is just not factually accurate 24% of "Black" American males engage in intermarriage. The percentage is higher when you look at dating habits.

But that's not what we are talking about.

What is up with the some of the men who have to proclaim their dating exclusively non-"Black" dating choices. That's what my take addresses.

I am not trying to get sympathy from you.

But I won't pretend this is not an issue anymore.

[SirRexington]

You might be right, they might be jumping on a bandwagon. And the bandwagon is denouncing black women as viable suitors for men.

[Anonymous]

A lot of black men I've talked to about dating white women told me it's because of how much better white women treat them in the relationship. They may be on to something, I know a lot of black American women with seriously bad attitudes towards men that mistreat and abuse them. My fellow Nigerian women have absolutely no problem getting and keeping a good black man mostly because we've more to offer and treat them better.

[RolandCuthbert]

Well, I have dated a lot of African-American women. And I just don't believe "Black" men who talk about "Black" women in this way. Because I have never run into a "Black" man making a distinction about African vs African-American women. It seems they actually believe in racist nonsense. That the skin color of the woman affects her beliefs/behaviors.

I have dated very few African women. And yes, I would say the experience is completely different. But no, it is not necessarily better or worse.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I dont believe it's to do with racism. I think if African American women treated their men better they wouldn't chase after an easier life with white women.

[RolandCuthbert]

I totally disagree. Again, the "Black" men I have talked to make no distinction between African-American women and other groups from the African diaspora. They simply look at the skin color of the woman, and then claim to have knowledge about how she will behavior, how she will talk or treat them.

And it is astonishing and breathtaking every single time I witness it.

[ManOnFire]

Omg this "Black" guy actually wrote out a Take trying to justify why he has a problem with black men who date women of other races. To me it shows a lot of your own insecurity to be this focused on it. And the only people who agree with you are black women who are also bothered by these relationships and white women who don't like black men. So what box does that place all of you in? Because you show a racial intolerance of your own.

These relationships aren't going to stop regardless of how you or anyone else would want to explain it, and indicates nothing but your own inner issues to be so critical of it. Makes me wonder what issues you think people have who DON'T want to date anyone else besides their own race because of their narrow perceptions of other races.

[RolandCuthbert]

You are absolutely. . .

hilarious.

:D

Bye!

[RolandCuthbert]

Oh and to all you non-"Black" women dating this guy. . . you have been warned. . .

cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...5-be28-1e122f3e6baf.gif

[ManOnFire]

@RolandCuthbert Dude, you are not anywhere near as educated and intelligent as you think you are as a black man. Pandering to black women is all you got, while you empower and encourage racist white men who already hate interracial relationships, and help the white women justify themselves for hating them too. You think you're doing some kind of justice as a black man when you really just encourage more racial hate and make a joke of yourself. Like a reverse Marcus Garvey or something.

[RolandCuthbert]

I am so sorry. I did not even see this confused mess of a post.

I am not enabling racist stereotypes. That is you.

I do not even believe in your concept of race. I am a member of a culture. It is called African-American Culture. I don't pander to "Black" women. That is a racist notion in itself. Because it implies that "Black" women need someone to pander to them. As though they are not already intelligent, beautiful, and sophisticated and should be respected for that.

You and your silly colorblind crowd think you are fighting against racism but everything you do is based upon the concept that one race of women is inferior other races.

It is hilarious that a black man with a race fetish thinks his race fetish does anything but promote racism.

Its like you are a grown black man. . . still in your mother's womb. Do you remember the first 60 seconds of the move "Baby Boy"?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJJL6kmRMkg