Search Results: making the first move, first love

Background infos: I'm 19, Dan is 21, Mark is 22. I'm in mechanical engineering, they're both in chemical, we're all in the same uni.

As soon as I first saw Mark I developed a crazy crush on him. It just felt like he was perfect for me -- he was my ideal type looks wise, and his personality was great. He was so sweet to me, we had the same sense of humor, shared a ton of the same interests -- yet it was evident to me that he saw me only as a friend.

The crush got more and more serious -- he started dating a girl, so I quit German because I was so in love I couldn't stand being around him, but spotting him in uni parties or in campus was still upsetting.

But suddenly came Dan. I noticed he was close friends with Mark so I gathered enough courage to ask Mark to introduce us, which he happily did.

Me and Dan have been in a serious relationship for 6 months now. Dan is emotional and jealous, borderline angry. We're always nagging at each other and fighting, and we use sex to solve these differences (not the healthiest couple around).

And I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I'd just made a move for Mark instead.

Mark laughs at my jokes, comforts me about bad grades, talks to me about soccer and a bunch of other little things that I never get from Dan.

As I said, I never felt like I stood a real chance with Mark, but I'm afraid getting so involved with Dan has definitely closed that door for me -- Dan would certainly feel betrayed if me and Mark ever became a thing, and Mark is too nice and thoughtful to do something that would upset his friend so much.

At this point I just know that deep inside I would give up what I have with Dan for one shot at making things work with Mark. I'm just really upset by the thought that maybe I majorly fucked up any slight chance I had with him.