I fought watching this movie for twenty five years of life. It is so overhyped and steeped in girl culture that as someone who's often accused of being too obsessed with sex to ever be romantic I thought I'd be not only bored but angry at what a pathetic slave to women the protagonist that's supposed to be the perfect guy. But what I found is actually a somewhat complex message on what it means for a guy to not just devote himself to a particular woman but to "devote himself to love."
"Jumping on the ferris wheel"
Ryan's character could easily have lost the audience right away with his semi creep first scene in the movie. He sees the female protagonist and within seconds is so enamored that he jumps on a moving ferris wheel while she's on a date with another guy and climbs it to her until she agrees to go on a date with him.
Takeaway: If a girl is truly the one there should be no action too big to take to at least try to meet her.
"Lying in the street"
Another borderline psycho move, Ryan's character gets the female star to lie in the middle of an empty street. She's nervous, what if someone comes? But finally takes a chance. Even though a car does eventually come he's given an experience.
Takeaway: If you love a girl you will want to broaden her life and share your personal philosophy on life. if you don't care you won't care to share yourself this way.
"I'll be whatever you want me to be"
Ryan says that he will be whoever he wants her to be. this can be seen as really pathetic as most guys try this without saying it. But when ryan says it he means that he likes her so much that he's willilng to adapt to what she needs right now in life in order to make her happy.
Takeaway: If you love a girl don't be so rigid and be willing to be the man she needs you to be for her at this moment.
"The montage"
In the montage, Ryan and the female star have a fight where she slaps his face but then seconds later they're making out.
Takeaway: Real love has passion and guys shouldn't be afraid of experience the range of emotions IF they are with a girl they really love.
"Staying with her despite awk sex"
Ryan and the girl finally have sex for the first time and it's not good because she's too nervous and overthinking it. Ryan doesn't pressure her to continue.
Takeaway: Amazing sex is not just about being with a woman that's talented at the physical technique of it. It's about how much the two people feel for each other and so if you love a girl you will wait for it to get better rather than move onto a more experienced, kinky girl.
"The letters"
Ryan's character writes a letter to the female star every single day after they break up. She never responds to a single one (bc her mom steals them) but he keeps writing every day for an entire year.
Takeaway: If you really love a girl you need to drop your ego and show her how much you love her without expecting her to show you the same all the time.
"Building her dreamhouse with his bare hands"
He knows he lost the girl but he still buys the house and fixes it with his bare hands. He builds it exactly the way she wanted it even though she's not asking him to and doesn't even know he did it.
Takeaway: If you really love a girl you give to her without her even knowing you are doing it because thats how much her desires matter to you.
"It's not over"
They have a lot of discussion about how it's really over, she's happy she's in love with someone else, but he tells her it's not over and they have super passionate sex in the rain and then in the house.
Takeaway: Sometimes the girl will give up on your love but if you really love her and want her you can't give up too.
"Built her a room to paint"
Compared to the other guy who simply tells her yeah she should paint, Ryan builds her a room to paint and tells her to get started.
Takeaway: It seems like the same thing but if you really love a girl you will take physical action to help her dreams come true not just go tell her to do it. You will help her.
"Let her come back to you"
Ryan opens his heart up to her, he lets himself believe in love again and that they may end up together and then she rips it all away and spits on it when she says she's still considering going back to her husband. Ryan gets angry but ultimately just lets her go. He doesn't say she can't come back. She doesn't tell him to leave her alone which is what I and millions of other guys would do if a girl stomped on our feelings like that. And in the end she chooses him.
Takeaway: Love is not about control. Love is about someone making the choice of you despite millions of others choices.
Rachel McAdams! That's her name. was on the tip of my tongue...
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