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I recently left while my spouse was at work because I had a gut feeling I was no longer safe and wouldn’t get another chance to leave. There were many reasons I left and had packed a “go bag,” but it still hurts…. I still feel like I didn’t give him enough chances and like maybe I was the manipulative one or somehow mucking things up… I just… felt like I needed to leave… I checked into a hotel under an alias and left the area and only texted him twice—the first to say I went on a mini weekend getaway and the second to say I was taking an extended time away. I flew to my mom’s and have been no contact directly with him since. Every time he speaks to my family (who reached out to settle a few things on my behalf), he tries to say I was just so mentally unwell and that I’ve stuck him with *soooo many bills.* For reference: my family and I pay the entire rent still, I paid off any bills that are in my name that we were handling jointly, and have been working on getting my phone and car insurance separate from his. The only new thing he has been responsible for is buying his own food—otherwise, his expenses have gone down. He has been telling others that this is why he’s “had to work so many more hours” (again for reference: he was working 30 hours and I was working 50-55 hours a week).
He also has been moving his guy friends all into the apartment and they stay there for weeks at a time despite that being against the lease.

I guess… I just… am I being stupid? Did I muck up something I shouldn’t have?

I’m a simple woman. All I wanted is s** and true love I don’t need designer bags, sports car, a mansion, credit cards, anything that is luxury because why? Because money can’t buy happiness and I know this as someone who used to own a Chanel wallet ($920 in my country’s currency because I bought it in Paris) only to realise it’s just some overpriced lump of leather meant to degrade quicker with use. I can afford fine dining if I want to but it’s not practical so I would choose to go fine dining every 8 years using my own hard earned money of course. I will not expect my man to buy me gifts on Valentine’s Day as I would rather spend it with him at a park. In my country many men are single because in my country here in Asia (not saying all of Asia as not all are the same) women expect men to be wealthy, meaning the ability to afford a condo, sports car, tons of cash, owns credit cards, a extremely expensive big house which only the elites can afford. I’m not saying all women in my country are like this as I personally met some women whom are down to earth but sadly those women are rare like precious gems in a world of plain stones. Materialism is a huge thing here because society and social media shaped women’s perception of a successful man.