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I’m having a girlfriend for the first time at 32, she’s 42. Due to the fact that she’s my first girlfriend I’m very immature and naive. I think like a 12 year old in terms of romance. I don't know if the good outweighs the bad. So in this question I’m gonna share with you the pro and cons.

Pros
1. Food: always cook for me on her days off. Even took the time to learn my favourite recipes.

2. Budgeting: She’s very smart with her money. We both have over 50k saved up with no debt. We have it planned to buy a house together and pay a low interest rate.

3. Open-minded: I can talker her about almost anything and she’s a good listener.

4. Very sharing: She let me borrow her car for 3 weeks when mine got totalled. Every time she gets bonus pay she’s willing to spend on me.

Cons

1. Has temper: Every time she has to explain something to me a second time she screams me. We end up fighting and not talking for days.

2. Conceited: She believes she so hot that every man in the world wants her. Her exact words “I have a big ass and D cup breasts. Every guy wants me”. Women should be confident but this is ridiculous.

3. Verbal/Emotional abuse: She tells me that I’ve never had a girlfriend because I’m socially awkward & weird. And how I’ll never find anyone better than her. And that the only reason she agreed to date me is because I’m handsome with muscles. And if I stop working out she’ll replace me.

4. Shallow: She refuses to date guys her age and only wants younger men. Nothing wrong with dating younger, but refusing to date your own age is dumb.

5. Male friends: She only has 4 female friends, the rest are guys. She even admitted a couple of them want her. She has a male bestie Alex who she texts almost every day. Whenever Alex has a girlfriend he barely texts her and she gets mad. She agreed not to hang out with guy after I told I’m uncomfortable, she said I’m “just being jealous”.

Is this how a relationship is supposed to be? please give me the best advice with your comments.

One of the reasons men get so angry over the friendzone is not because we lost our opportunity to be more than friends. Rejection burns but that is just a fact of life for more most men. Dating is like being a door to door salesman to us. Its up to us to make it happen and if we get a no then we want to move on ASAP until we eventually hear a yes. The disinterested girl is now just a liability if we continue to waste our time and energy on her.

Anyway the real reason we get angry about the friendzone is we feel like our masculinity isn’t being respected. Respecting a man surely doesn’t mean dating him, having sex and/or getting a relationship. Its understanding his gamble he took a (likely uncomfortably) by approaching you. It’s now your turn to be forthcoming about where you stand. It need to be done sooner than later.

Confidently assuming he is going to be okay with being platonic friends when it’s plain as day he wants more is disrespectful, cowardly and selfish.

While I can understand that women are nervous that men won’t take rejection well in reality most guys can take in in stride. If they do get angry or rude than take that as confirmation you made the right choice.

No the truth is most women don’t want to lose out on the benefits of having the interested guy in their orbit (attention, favors, ego boost, someone to use against you really like, etc.). They also know that interested guy will likely do more for them vs someone who isn’t. This is especially true of if they see the guy is “nice” which women either consciously or subconsciously find feminine. Most of them have no idea how deeply insulting that attitude to vast majority of hetero men.

Anyway I haven’t been “friéndzoned” in a very long time but I’ve had women attempt that crap (including grown ass women in their 30s). The attempt itself is infuriating tbh (a woman past 30 should know better. I feel there should come a point in a woman’s life where she should understand male psychology better.