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My first break up traumatised and I’m now crushing on fictional men around my age. I know they aren’t real but it’s way safer than getting my heart broken all over again.

I don’t wear makeup and I don’t shave my underarms because I only have hair on my underarms and down there, the rest of my body is silky smooth. I know there are girls and women like me in real life and every one of them has a choice in what they want to do with their bodies. I was wearing a basic sleeveless dress and I was sitting alone at a bar and there was a young man around my age chatting me up. I was shocked because I’m sure he has noticed I don’t look good in any way especially my underarms being unshaven, my face having pimples and some acne scars on my face. I was panicking inside but pretend to show I’m not afraid of him. I answered his questions and we did have a chat. He then asked me if I’m single to which I replied. ‘I prefer to stay single because I’m a burden due to personal reasons. There are way better looking girls around here why pick me when you can pick them?’ He replied ‘You have the confidence to go out like this is the reason why, not everything is about looks you know.’ He left and I saw how he looked a little disappointed. I find being single is safer, easier and cheaper compared to getting married. Since marriage does comes with lots of stress especially when there are kids involved and honestly I couldn’t handle married life. It doesn’t matter if it’s marriage life with or without kids. I just know I couldn’t handle them. I’m a weak vulnerable person so I couldn’t afford to be in a relationship where it might be a toxic/abusive one.