Search Results: dress up

Backstory: We’re acquaintances (friends of a friend.), we met at a party in the beginning of the year. He’d been trying to ask me out I had a lot of things happening all at once. Career change and moving figuring out if I’d continue to live in the area or find something back in my hometown. I stayed in the area, he helped me move my mattress. Then we’d been texting pretty much everyday and he’d FaceTime me twice just talking nothing crazy. I had car trouble, that he fixed. I couldn’t pay him he knows I cook so he asked me if that could be his payment. I said yeah. We were hanging out eating, smoked some weed and we both had stuff to get back to.

Current: I found free roller skating at a park and asked if he wanted to go. He said yes and it became a date. We ended up hooking up. We had some technical difficulties and planned for next weekend.

That next weekend, He asked if I still wanted to go to the movies with him, I said yes. Dressed a little fancy and we came back to my place to eat. We watched another movie he really wanted to see b/c he hadn’t seen it. Movie finished at 3am, I asked if he was going home he said he was really tired. I said he can sleep here if he wants he said yeah. Surprise he wasn’t that tired. We tried with the sex again. He thought he was hurting me I assured him he wasn’t. I don’t think he believed me and we just laid there talking for like a half hour and fell asleep. He also left his earring. I didn’t say anything about it though. After we were texting for four days. The responses weren’t dry or sparse everything normal. Then he suddenly stopped.

Should I text him just a simple “Hey, you good?” Or just keep being radio silent? I can at least think of five reasons: He’s not interested. He’s an introvert a social battery thing. Focused on finding a new apartment that I distracted him from twice. He actually wants a girlfriend (not sure why). Or it’s all those reasons. Should I just not say anything and leave him alone?

To expand on this, there is this idea that being a parent is very different from wanting a baby.

To want a baby is to want to have something adorable to take care of, something cute that looks like you, that you can dress up how you like, that's completely reliant on you to teach it what it needs. Wanting a baby is wanting something that looks like you that you can bond with on a one-sided basis as babies are not smart enough to comprehend what a bond is, only that you provide them with food and love and shelter and give them what they need when they need it. They are totally helpless and you are helping them happily and find reward in taking care of them, but once the child begins to show signs of their own autonomy that begins to change.

Being a parent means being ready to help a child discover who they are, build on their autonomy, support them and learn new things about this child as they discover these new things, guiding them towards the path that is right for them even if it's one you disagree with on some level (i. e. religious parents helping their queer child be more comfortable being out to them). Being a parent means understanding that you are sacrificing for the sake of someone else and not only willingly accepting that but embracing it because watching your child become an adult is rewarding, despite all of the time you spend losing sleep, losing money, and losing energy to help your baby grow into a child, then a teenager, then an adult.