Would you go to a friend's wedding if you're low on money?

[Anonymous]

I'm very low on money and I rather save up as much as I can, I would have to buy a dress and spend money to find a way to get there because it's two hours away and I don't have a car to get there and I need to give a fair amount to the couple that are getting married, would you go if you were in my position?

Updates

+1 y

ok, i just wanna make things clear for people that say that i dont need to give money for weddings, in my country its mandatory to give money to a wedding if you dont bring money then you shouldn't come at all because its considered very disrespectful, second its in a different city two hours away from me, i tried to ask a mutual friend that lives an hour away from me if she can take me but she said its too much driving for her and i can understand that.

[Anonymous]

Of course. You must not really want to go if you’re making up all these excuses. I’m sure you knew about the wedding months in advance, so if you knew your financial situation why didn’t you prepare for it all this time? Why can’t you pick up an extra shift? A part-time job, sell some things. You could rent a car fairly cheap for one day. Maybe someone else is going to the wedding that you know. This is not impossible. You already shut your brain down thinking I don’t have the money which is the first mistake most people make. If you changed your thought process to how can I make this work then you open your mind up to ideas. I’ve done this for a while now. Now for me it’s not so much even about purchasing that new computer or whatever, it’s more of a challenge to myself to prove to myself I can do it. Figure it out. Go. It’s your friend. Affirm to me is a good way to purchase things so long as you don’t get out of control purchasing thousands of dollars worth of things. Sell some things online. I just made $300 on 2 Barbie’s that posted on FB that I sold today.

[Asker]

i understand where you're coming, from but im a freelancer and i have things to pay off i rather not attend and spend extra money to get there and buy something to wear and give money, and only for a few hours for me it just isn't worth it. im not cheap im just low rn financially and its understandable.

[exitseven]

Kids today are having these destination weddings that look like it is purposely done to inconvenience as many people as possible. If it was one of those I would have no problem staying home. This is only a two hour drive so it is not too bad but if it is going to cause a hardship for you you don't have to go and just send a gift. That is what they are more interested in anyway.

[Asker]

you're 100% right these are friends that dont even remember my birthday or won't message me to ask how i am. Im sure they care about me coming to only give an envelope with money to help them pay off the wedding. Thats how it is. its all personal interests.

[jeffend888]

Right, it's all a vanity project. The gifts are more important to them anyway so they can recoup the cost of the wedding or close to it.

[Asker]

@jeffend888 exactly!

[Reem12345reem]

it's totally fine , u don't have to be a people/society pleaser

[Asker]

true, thanks!

[Paris13]

Stay home then. I understand Your situation. xx

[Asker]

thanks i appriciate it, i just dont wanna feel bad after and feel like i needed to sacrifice a lot just to make someone else happy.

[Paris13]

You think of You. However, If Invited, Let them Know How Sorry You Are, You Cannot Come. xxoo

[Asker]

thanks hun will do <3

[Paris13]

Great, sweetheart. I would Do that. xxoo

[Paris13]

Thanks to Gag for My MHO. lolxxoo

[RingOfFire]

I would call the friend who is having the wedding and explain to them how happy you are for them but that you regret that you are financially challenged and will be unable to attend the wedding for that reason.

[Asker]

thank you !

[RingOfFire]

PS... some people will be understanding of this and others won't. It's a good way to find out if a friend is really a friend or not. If they are not understanding of your situation and needs then they are not really a friend.

[Asker]

thats exactly why im scared because i think maybe they will see me as a bad friend some people dont really care about you only about what you can give.

[RingOfFire]

If they react that way THEY are the bad friend not you. So you will have lost nothing.

[Asker]

you're right thank you!

[RingOfFire]

You deserve understanding. You should not have to sacrifice basic necessities to pay for attending the wedding.

[Asker]

you're 100% right thank you so much my friend!

[RingOfFire]

👍 Good luck. You are a good friend. I hope that the other person recognizes that.

[Asker]

Thank you you're very kind! <3

[BadApple69]

I have skipped a few weddings in my time. We all have to do what we have to do. If you can’t afford it then don’t go. If these are truly friends then they would understand.


Good luck!

[Asker]

thank you you're 100% right!

[BadApple69]

You are very welcome.

Don’t stress over the things we can’t do, but do the things we can do to the best of our ability.

~ Me ~

[Asker]

<3 take care my friend, love the quote!

[JustinTheGreat]

If there anyway you could carpool with someone else who is going?
And you could always order a cheap dress from like shein or some other cheap fast fashion site.

how close are you guys? If this is like your best friends wedding then I think you should try and make an effort to go. If anything you could explain your situation and maybe they can help you with arrangements

[Red_Arrow]

I can understand your problem with getting there. But I was invited to the wedding because of our friendship and no gifts were expected. I did go.

[Asker]

well i wish it was like that with me but here you have to give money to help the couple pay off the wedding.

[Red_Arrow]

That is because they are making a big party of it and possibly a destination wedding. I don't go to those.

[Asker]

yeah i agree, they can't expect people to leave their life and just go to their weddings in a different city.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Gotta look after you first. Don't go. Tell her why. She'll understand and get over it or you didn't need her as a friend anyway

[Asker]

you're right thank you so much!

[molonski2]

If I can't afford it , there is no way I'm going to attend.

[Asker]

you're right, sometimes we have to think about ourselves and not spend money we need.

[Anonymous]

I have refused invitations in the past. No biggie.

[Asker]

did they still keep in touch with you the people that you didn't attend their wedding? or did they keep a grudge?

[Opinion Owner]

Still in touch and on good terms.

[Anonymous]

You could borrow someone’s dress. And no you’re not obligated to spend on a gift for them. You could just show up for them.

[Anonymous]

If your cash strapped that hard, then just say no but explain the reasons you can't attend.

[Asker]

yeah ill just say i can't come and its too far for me.

[TonyMetal___86]

It's a hard decision but i won't be able to go, it's something that ain't in your hands, your financial status had forced you to do so...

[Asker]

Yeah it's also 3 hours away on a train I also need to spend money on a train and a taxi to get the the actual banquet hall ans it seems too much i just wish people were more understanding im sure she's gonna keep a grudge after if I dont attend

[TonyMetal___86]

I agree that people needs to be more understanding, who wouldn't attend a marriage ceremony if things are allright...
They need to know that if someone couldn't attend it than it means that it was impossible for them to go...

[Asker]

Thank you

[TonyMetal___86]

You're welcome

[sheenagwapa]

no i won't.. i'll make an excuse

[Asker]

yeah, its hard to tell people that you have financial problems so i need a good excuse, unfortunately, i dont think my friend will care and she will see it as a friendship dealbreaker.

[AnusNdaPainus]

I’m never going to another wedding because women behave very strangely

[Asker]

what do you mean?

[AnusNdaPainus]

I don’t know women are just weirdos especially when they throw the bouquet

[jeffend888]

There are people who are low on money these days?

[Asker]

I don't know if you're sarcastic or not but regardless its called inflation my friend.

[jeffend888]

You know where inflation comes from, don't you? When everyone has money to spend so prices are goosed up accordingly.

[Asker]

yeah, that includes rent and basic necessities, i really dont understand what you want... im living by myself and im stuggling you dont have to be rude when you dont understand other people.. maybe you have money and work a good job and if so good for you, but you coming and commenting things like this " There are people who are low on money these days? " is really unnecessary. Good day to you

[Anonymous]

Might explain my situation and hopefully they understand why you can’t go

[WhitneySnow]

I probably wouldn’t

[butterly248]

I don't go to weddings