Would you pay someone $450 to attend their wedding?

[Anonymous]

So this man and his fiance spent $200K on their wedding and decided that "good friends" would be willing to turn up for a small fee of, oh, $450 PER PERSON because you guys drop $1,000 on Beyonce tickets, so why not show up for your family..by equally paying them to show up at their wedding. Shocking EVERYONE declined, but for the second wedding mentioned about 60 people did pay their $300 fee.

So is there a world where you're paying to attend a friend/family members wedding?

I would NEVER pay even if it was my own flesh and blood sibling and I was supposed to be the maid of honor/best man

I'd pay only if it were close family or like my best friend

I would pay if the fee was like $100 or less, but I'm not getting a gift

I would pay regardless. They only get married once (hopefully), and I want to be there for them

[avery58]

How about no? We're supposed to be guests, the only reason I'm going there is to support them... I mean, how could THEIR wedding possibly benefit me? At least a concert is actually entertaining, and even then not everyone "pays to see Beyonce" and nobody forced them to blow 200k on it either. I think it's okay to ask guests for a donation if they choose to, as wedding gift to help cover some of the wedding expenses, but telling their family members that they can't attend unless they pay? That's so ridiculous

[Flower7]

The option of donations toward the wedding cost instead of gifts would be a good compromise.

[Asker]

I WISSSSHHH I could ask this guy how many weddings he has attended where he or his fiance were asked to pay a fee to simply attend. I would love to hear the answer. I bet it's a big fat zero. I've spent over a thousand to attend the wedding of my brother that I was in which included hotel, dress, hair, make-up, gift, travel, events, for the week long ceremony. The cost sucked, but it was optional and he did help with some of the fees. The point is--choice. We are choosing as guests to attend, and as someone said, okay, so is Beyonce going to be there at this wedding, because if you're comparing a Beyonce experience, then if you get cold chicken and there is weak entertainment, can you get a refund????

[Account]

It is not the amount of money, it is the fact that I consider it rude.

[Asker]

I think it's both! If you barely have cash, someone asking you to fork over $450 to go to a wedding does not include your outfit, the babysitting you may need, time off work, travel expenses, hotel, uber. So if a plane ticket to get there is already like $800, without paying for anything else, that's over a thousand. It's beyond just rude, it's totally inconsiderate unless all the friends are just dripping with money like that.

[Account]

I agree that it is way too much and it should not be mandatory. If people want to give money (here it is quite common to do that if you are a guest at a wedding), the common courtesy is to put the money in an envelope and hand it. But it is never mandatory and everyone pinches in the amount that they are able to afford. Or they buy gifts for the couple. However, making it mandatory is extremely rude especially if they expect people to travel there as well on their own cost. It is madness.

[Asker]

Yes. Some people have just lost their minds. I've heard of people requiring guests to purchase gifts for them or stay at only the most exclusive hotel which costs hundreds a night. Again, if all your friends are high society, super wealthy, I guess do what you want, but for the average person, rude+ridiculous to demand fees just to attend. I am so curious what they plan to do now having spent 200K on a wedding where all the guests have declined...

[phraseology]

I hate weddings. Worst shit in the world. No way I'd ever pay for the experience. I'd have to like you a lot just to show up for you. When I say a lot, I mean a lot... I see it as a huge sacrifice on my part to sit through that for you. I definitely wouldn't like you at all if you had the audacity to try to turn your wedding into a profitable event. That's some serious narcissism right there. No one is that important.

[Asker]

He compared their wedding to a Beyonce concert...I think narcissism is absolutely the key word. I did look this up for sh*ts and giggles, but to put on her Coachella show, it was $2million dollars. These people are spending 200K, so I hardly think they'll have fireworks, banging music, and 100 people dancing to entertain the guests.

[OlderAndWiser]

I have never spent more than perhaps $200 for a pair of concert tickets.

If you invite someone to an event, YOU are the host and it is your responsibility to make your guests comfortable and to keep them entertained. I would NEVER ask a guest to pay even $1 to attend a social event I planned.

[Asker]

The entitlement is so real with this couple. It's also the assumption that the money you personally work hard to earn should go to them rather than something else like a concert. It's the equivalent of saying to the bride and groom, you should pay for my plane tickets to attend your wedding.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO! And let’s not even start on destination weddings!

[jennifer_bloom]

I’ve spent over $300 at people’s weddings. $80 was spent on the fashionable outfit I wore to the ceremony to avoid making the bride look bad by not being poorly dressed. $35 was spent on gas to drive there, $100 per family head was donated to the bride and groom because that is how much our rental chair, food, drinks, servants and entertainment cost the wedding hosts to invite us to their ceremony.

[Asker]

But was that a fee they charged you and told you, you had to pay before you even paid for all the things you listed. There is a difference between voluntarily paying and gifting a bride/groom and being charged a fee to just attend the wedding...on top of all other fees generally that go into going to a wedding, especially one out of town.

[jennifer_bloom]

The gas and clothing was voluntarily and you could say the pay per plate fee was also voluntary but its logical to note that if you take from others and do not pay them back, it will demerit your friendship with them unless you in understandable financial need.

[Asker]

If you can't afford to pay for your own wedding yourself or with your family, you need to have more realistic expectations and lower the budget or elope until you can afford. You don't put that cost on your guests because it is optional for them to come and they should not be required to pay anything to attend. Donations, gifts, those are optional and made in kind, not mandatory fees you charge because you want to recoup what you as bride/groom spent.

[Alwayreckles93]

No that is a disgusting question. Actually you mean if you want people to attend your disgusting ugly boring CHILD FREE WEDDING THEN THE BRIDE AMD GROOM MUST pay the guest $450 per each guess. I don't understand why people are obsessed with child free weddings now a days.

[Flower7]

I don’t even attend weddings for free, so definitely not. I don’t like weddings. The only one I’ve ever been to was when my mom married my stepdad. I was a child then so of course I had to go. But I’ve never been to a wedding by choice, even though I’ve been invited to some.

[Justhereforananswer]

I would be absolutely embarrassed to ask anyone to pay to attend my wedding. That just feels like entitlement to me. If you can't afford to pay $200k for a wedding then don't pay $200k for a wedding. Asking guest to help pay for your special day feels icky and tacky.

[Justhereforananswer]

I just realized I didn't actually answer your question. No, I wouldn't pay anyone to attend their wedding lol

[Nikki1989]

The amount of money people spend on weddings is downright bonkers. We were married for under $100.

[Asker]

Good on you. A general rule with weddings is, if you can't afford it, either wait until you can or don't pay extravagant fees for something that will sink you into debt over a few hours.

[DryGermanGuy]

Sounds like an absolute "Bridezilla" scenario...

[Asker]

Well, he's the groom, so Groomzilla. You'd think he'd get the hint when every.single.person. declined the invite, and yet...

[DryGermanGuy]

The total sum for that wedding is crazy. I would assume if someone wants to spend that amount of money he is a millionaire and the doesn't need any financial help from his guests. And for the weddings I attended, I gave between 25 and 50 Euros for gifts and to help with the catering.

[lorenzomichael]

Shit I would’ve give anybody $3.00 to come and see my wedding. If they want to come come if not, don’t stay home. It wouldn’t matter to me. It’s not their day.

[jamesgoldman]

Nope, I'll pay for their rings when they inevitably get divorced

[phraseology]

10 cents on the dollar.

[jamesgoldman]

Something around that, looking at retail compared to the pot

[CarolinaGirl5]

Nope.

[Wise4myage]

No Hell No.

[Iron_Man]

Never