I consider the 2000s up there with the worst decade IN MY OPINION for fashion outside of the 70s. Somebody once described women's fashion in the 2000s as a hooker walks into Walmart and wears everything in the store at the same time, and I just could not agree more. Seriously, look back on that time period and tell me we didn't look at least minimally trashy and cheap. And who led us down this wayward path? Well our style icons at the time were Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, J Lo, Sarah Jessica Parker, Beyonce, Hillary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Rihanna, and Nicole Ritchie....I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
1. Whale Tale
In the 2000's, low rise and EXTREME low rise jeans were a thing. These jeans quite literally hit at the top of your whoo haa (you better be waxed!), and left little to the imagination in the rear, because any even slight bending forward motion, led to the full on exposure of the very top of your thong, aka, "whale tale," and you weren't even bothered to cover it up. I remember being in college and guys used to love it because we had staggered seats, so they could see right down the back of any girl sitting in front of them.
2. Accessory Overload
Coco Chanel would surely be spinning in her grave if she had to live through this decade because we went accessory crazy. Every girl had on like a bandana, 3 necklaces, chokers, loads of rings, belly, nose, lip piercings, plastic bracelets, rows of bangles, ankle bracelets, toe rings, "statement belts," sometimes worn two at a time, and all of this didn't look good because there was so much of it. We should have listened to Chanel accept taken about 8 things off before we walked out the door.
3. Flippy Butterfly Skunk Chopstick Hair
No matter your race, if you were a young woman in the 2000s, if you managed to somehow escape wearing chopsticks in your hair, wearing an Asian print triangle bandana, having a choppy flipped up hair cut, "the Rachel" from Friends, having skunk highlights (thick pieces of colored highlights typically blonde or red, purple, etc), wearing the two strands of hair in the front that framed your face, butterfly and claw clips, one color for the top of your hair, and another for the underside, big side swoop or choppy bangs, spikey curls, the half cornrow/twist to spiky twists, half crimp/half curled hair, or adding a bump to a ponytail, then congratulations.
4. DIY Flares
Flare jeans and bootcut jeans were the only style of jean really at the time, but if you wanted to take it a step further, you could DIY your flares, by cutting out an insert in your jeans, choosing a fabric, and sewing it in to make your own "creative" flares.
5. FUgg-LY
So in addition to having your crotch and @$$ routinely make a daily appearance in your EXTREME low rise flare jeans, we wore the hell out of crop top everything---vests, tops, triangle tops. This led to plenty of conversations about muffin top and how to avoid it and girls doing Britney's 100 crunches a day routine to just keep up. There was also the business of Paris's shredded asymmetrical (are we sea creatures) skirts, and for some reason we decided wearing a dress over our jeans was a thing, and just like this generation has revamped Crocs, we took on Uggs, these big old boots (sings---with the fuuuuuurrrrrrrrr), that just made every outfit look like you tried to step out early in the morning to let the dog out and you were accidently spotted by the neighbor.
6. The Alternative Route
We had just left the decade of grunge, ripped jeans, and plaids, but we then inherited Avril Lavigne who says that she did not want to be a style icon, she was just "doing her thing," and people noticed and copied. She was like the poster girl for the alternative girls and boy did I dabble in this. Dark eye make-up, black nail polish, wearing ties over wife beaters, thick leather cuffs, rivet belts, wider men's style jean, wallet chains....basically if Hot Topic were a LITERAL person.
7. Chunky Funky Witchy Shoes
The Spice Girls exploded our lives and our fashion in the 2000s and as a result we adopted their super high platform everythings. Imagine every shoe you own now with a 4 inch rubber sole or super chunky heels/sandals. If you were going to dress formally, you wore extremely pointy toed heels, a cha-cha heel, or pointy knee high boots. On the tennis shoe side, Vans were everywhere, along with Air Force 1s and Airwalks. I remember going in for a doctors appointment in my super chunky army boots and the doctor being so amazed that I was walking in these things that he asked to weigh them and no joke, they weighed in at 3.5 lbs.
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