Search Results: how to make out kiss

Long story short

• We met online 1 month ago and texted back and forth ever since pretty often, lately it was daily. Last 2 weeks we switched to calls and talked for HOURS;
• SOMETIMES, he took a few hours to respond to my texts, but he doesn't use his phone often, I also noticed his social media is very very DRY, I think he never even posted a story or any content on his socials whatsoever... so makes me think he doesn't use his phone much
• We know A LOT about each other, and have TONS of things in common, he told me personal things, and always told me he enjoyes our conversations, we both want a serious relationship, nothing casual.
• We met the other day for the very first time, had a whole day date in a city that we wanted to explore, we basically had breakfast, lunch and dinner
• We talked nonstop, at some point as we where walking through the town we started holding hands and got touchy more and more as the day went by
• I noticed that he never used his phone, just once to use google maps and another time to call his friend for an information.. that's it he never touched his phone (GREEN FLAG to me)
• By the end of our date, after we literally talked, teased each other, joked around for 10 freaking hours, we got on this public boat bus (or w. e. they are called) and it drove us around the lake and it got crowded, and we had no space in between us so we Kissed...(I had a heart attack I loved it so much)
• And yes, ever since that kiss we did kiss more often here and there until we said our goodbies an went home... lol
• The next day, he was a little distanced, but he is from time to time but I still OVERTHINK and immediately come to the conclusion that he does not like me, but then he always comes back and shows interest... he said he wants a second date shortly, he is also wanting to travel somewhere with me... but I did have to ask IF HE LIKES ME , (cause i'm a little weird and insecure at times) and he said VERY MUCH SO, but yet his answers where kind of dry in general...

I can only imagine myself becoming promiscuous as an ultimate method of self-harm before I drink a deadly dose of Pentobarbital, so I will choose to simply end my suffering sooner. I had chances of becoming promiscuous in my life and it was really the fear of death (or rather dying alone in meaninglessness) that always kept me back.

I really hate the idea of dying alone, however. My dream is to die in someone's arms and feel safe as I pass. Before I go, I might find someone to act as my partner - kiss me, make love to me, then cuddle me or just hold my hand as I pass. I think that would be a possible scenario in Switzerland and what I would go for if I had to choose between promiscuity and death.

I ask this because I can't see myelf being promiscuous and mentally healthy, functional, and living a meaningful life at the same time.

Can you? How?